well,after no sleep,started cry so much missing her i cant hardly see so im gonna post this, tell my story.i'll have to explain,eveything about be and her so everyone gets it.i never needed no pity or had problems finding a date till aug 3 1990 i broke my neck in bike crash leaving me a parapledgic,any way after loosin my drivers licensce forever of constant duis,i was standed at home and a cripple.some one talked me into getting a puter so i did,i this 1 little room was like 20 regs, i got to know them and i met a girl,didnt know her to well, kinda outspoken ect,but as time went on,i got to know her well.she was married,kids ive never been married,never had a g/f or kids.me and her got closer partying,having great times,i knew her husband kids her friends everything about her,i knew her better than her husband,we cammed naughty alot,laughed,cryed with her, i was allways there for her,7 yrs passed i gave up all my friends and life for her,if she was online we was together.as time went on we started getting into fights,partyin does that.it got worse,she and her husband bought a new home ,id sit staring at this monitor waiting on her for months,nothing.i admit i was very jealous of her,and shes like 5 ft 95 lb blonde green eyes very beautiful,and i had fell in love with her, i have never felt like this over any one,i mean a lonely crippled guy and a beautiful girl camming nude with me,i was over welmed,she would tell me she loved me at times,and when her kids got done with school,shed leave her husband come be with me,has just a lie.i didnt know what to think but was glad she was there for me, i wanted to be with noone else,i love her dearly,one nite i was very upset,drunk missing her,sent am im cussing her swhure enough she was on line hiding,probly camming with other guys.i threating to show her 300 nude pics to her friends ect,from the old room,anyone to stop her from doin that and come back to me.....so i did...worste mistake ive ever done,she confided in me,trusted me,but she had lied to me so many times, i caught her doing things that hurt me more than once ,more lies,she didnt remember this that,but scattering those few pics hurt her, she didnt such,but thing is she told me ''goahead'' stuff.anyway we fought day after day,use fighting not together like it was affected 100s of pll,just things wasnt right.we tryed to fix im told her i was so sorry i hurt her,id never do something so stupid again, she forgave me but i havent forgave my self.this ben going on for about a yr and i havent heard from her in a few weeks now so ive think ive really lost her forever.me and her together was my life.now i just sit never sleeping crying uncontrollabley,missing her,she told all i need to to was to put a gun in my mouth pull the trigger or i need to be hung 3 dayds later hugggs i still love you.this girl has messed my mind up.thing is i may have to let her go and all connected with her,i just wish things was back the way they was.thing is i want her back i miss her and im so in love with her, ive never been in love with noone,and ive never met her is the thing, id never break up her marrage,i just wanted her to let me love her.now she dont want to talk to me i wont eat sleep,her friend says she not thinkin about me...i know she loves attention from other men,women,but she hurt me to but she dont think she done nothing...i dunno think im screwed,never been threw nothing like this,but i still love her,probly allways will, im lost
