nickster

Well, after one night of pondering and now reading what has been posted for me I have come to many realizations. Yes... guy #1 needs to be fully out of the picture. He is a good friend and I would like to salvage my friendship with him. I know it's not even close to normal what I've been getting myself involved in, which is the reason why I was interested in hearing an outside perspective. Guy #1 does want the best of both worlds, and at the time it seemed like a good idea because it was easy for me, but it is becoming cumbersome now because it does appear he is investing more feelings than maybe he did anticipate. I, on the other hand, knew what was up and have come to terms that it's time to put an end to the relationship. I do need to be frank with him. I actually have brought it up in the recent past with him that I was looking for something a little bit more meaningful and it appeared that he understood but also it looked as though he wasn't too keen on giving me up as his part-time bed buddy. This guy is as easy to read as an open book and I know that he's already somewhat upset because I feel he anticipates what I might have to say to him in the upcoming future. Either way... all of you folks are right! It's time to put an immediate end to this madness. As for guy #2, I've decided to take a large step back from this situation. Largely because he is coming out of a very delicate situation with his separation to his wife. I know that he may be saying or doing things out of his own desperation and emotion and not really because he does care or have honest feelings. Not to negate what has already been laid out on the table with us, but the timing is all bad. I'm just glad that I am going away Monday morning for ten long days out of town on a work trip. It will give me some time to refocus on what is the problem/solution here. To be perfectly honest with all those that have replied to me, my career is so important to me. I have just made some bad decisions for myself and involved myself in some dangerous situations. I appreciate all of you for not simply slamming me hard against the wall for what I've done. You've actually been pretty objective in your replies, which is surprising for me. I do care about my personal and work life and I just need to get back on track. Perhaps I was just getting a bit cocky about my situation because I never really thought that anything would ever leak out to the office. None of us at my workplace really work that closely together so there was no fear on my part that people would find out anything. However, I'm still not willing to take that chance. I truly value what all of you have posted. I look forward to any other insight you may have for me. nickster

About four months ago I decided to get together with a good friend of mine... who is also a co-worker... who at the time was engaged to be married. He is now married and has been for almost three months. At first when we hooked up we were fully able to satisy each other, emotionally and sexually, because we realized what exactly was going on. I guess in the back of my mind, I knew that he was in an unfulfilled relationship and I filled in the gap in his marriage. Now that a few months have past, I've become a little bit bored. I still enjoy his company, as well as his wonderful friendship, but the sizzle is fading between us, at least it is for me. I think he's sensing it because he's been sounding somewhat desperate as of late. I don't return his calls too much anymore and when I do I tend to keep it brief. I've been pretending that nothing has changed but no one is the fool here. I'd like to end the relationship with him but haven't yet found the right way to do it. But it doesn't end there. In the past two months, I've been under the mentorship of one of the senior managers in the office. We've become close.. through e-mails, phone calls, coffees, and meetings in the office. Since about one month now, we've discovered a mutual attraction to each other. He is extremely successful in many ways and I find myself very drawn to him. I was somewhat shocked, as well as flattered, that he too, found me equally as interesting. Oh, and by the way... he's also married. (Although I was under the suspicion that his marriage may be on the rocks, to say the least.) In the span of ten days, when I was working out of town, we confessed our attraction to each other and very much so looked forward to when I was coming back into town. I've now been back in town for four days and we've since hooked up intimately. Only tonight he did confirm with me that him and his wife are in the process of separating, but he did have feelings for me on a deeper level. I'm not too sure as of yet if I actually understand what his feelings for me really are. I guess if I had to add it all up I replaced the first affair with the second one, yet somehow I manage to justify in my own head that the second guy is the "safer" bet since he is currently on the outs with his wife. However, on the flipside of the coin, he is one of my senior managers and I am skating on very thin ice as far as my position with the company. I am no idiot in realizing that I am so dangerously dipping my pen in company in (again and again.) I am neither completely hideous nor desperate, so why is it I choose relationships bound for doom? Perhaps the thrill of something else waiting for me behind the door, or I just have some deep-rooted relationship issues. To be perfectly honest, if I were any woman, I wouldn't leave my husband alone with me. For obvious reasons, no one in my life knows what is going on. However, I am seeking comments to my post for my own personal reasons. I'm not really looking for any advice, per say, but mainly just seeing if anyone has anything to say about me and my situation. nickster