OrdnanceSurvey

I've taken a lot of advise from this site and I can honestly say it's worked! So I thought I should share my story with others to help you all out, as you have all helped me. My ex dumped me about 4 months ago after going out for over 2 years. Basically because having a realtionship over Uni was too much of a strain and we both ended up missing out on things and pretty much not making the most of our time there. Lot of that was my fault, and there were a lot of things about me which she didnt like but long story short we broke up. Anyway, I spent a long time before we broke up trying to convince her not to, crying, pleading blah blah blah and all that embarassing * * * * ! I took the break up pretty hard for about a week, didnt really talk to anyone, got pretty damn depressed, stopped going to lectures etc... was pretty much a bit of a loser! Anyway, I wanted to talk to her but found this site and heard about NC and thought I might as well give it a try. And then something clicked inside me. I don't know what it was but I just thought - No. No, your not allowed to make me feel like this. I'm the better person, I'm the one who can hold my head high, I'm deserve better than this. All of a sudden I thought that if I ever stood a chance of getting her back it, it wasnt going to happen with me moping around like a lemon! So I turned my * * * * around. I started going to the gym, got in really really really good shape, the fittest I've ever been in my life. I ate healthly, I went out with my friends much much much more, started enjoying getting with other girls, partied hard and worked hard. All the while I was doing NC, she sent me fb messages and rang be a whole bunch of times but I was so into the zone now, so enjoying doing things for myself that I wanted that I didnt care. I ignored her, and it felt good. So I keep that up for 3 months and by now Im looking (not to be big headed! lol) pretty bloody hot - I've lost weight, got a 6-pack now and a massive upper body. I've started doing triathlons, my skin is clear from my diet, I'm getting a 1st in all m work and I'm a super happy person. So, Easter vaction comes and I have 6 weeks off of Uni back home, which defo. brings back memories of us. I presume it did the same for her because she got in contact with me again, even after I totally ignored her for 3 months. So being in a much better mood now, and not really caring about her anymore, I thought I might as well talk to her and be nice. We chat via text and starts making up crazy reasons to come over to my house to pick up a comb and other random stuff. I ask her about it and she says shes just finding an excuse to see me. She then asks if I wanted to catch up. I wasnt too sure at first and put her off for like 3 weeks, because I didnt want to start liking her again. In the end we see each other at a party of a mutual friend. Things are pretty awkard, and its extremely weird to see her again, but once we both have a few drinks we're able to say a few words to each other. After the party I thought I might as well meet up with her for drinks, so I do. We end up doing a sort of pup crawl, hanging out for like 6 hours or something, just chatting. Things certainly went better than I expected, and we catch up well. I let her know how much of a better person I have become, talking about my health, my grades, my friends and all that jazz. She's pretty impressed (certainly by my abs! haha), and I'm spurred on to know that she didnt cope well when we broke up - she ended up putting on weight and almost dropped out of uni! This made me laugh. Hahahahaha, Im laughing too now. Anyway, another part comes around and we both go again. Its really nice to hang out with all our mutual friends and things are relaxed between us. We have another long chat afterwards, for about 1hr or something, and finish the night with a cheeky kiss goodbye. We seem to be getting along extremely well, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up just in case im reading the situation wrong. A few days later she invites me over to her house to pick up some stuff for my family, and says I can stay for lunch if I like. So I go over and we have lunch at her house. We're getting on pretty damn well at this stage, we're very playful and are just having fun together. We end up lying in the hammock in the sun listening to her ipod, obviously we're getting pretty close and I end up holding her in my arms. We eventually kiss, not too sure how it happened but it happened quite a few times, and we ended up making out for quite a while. Well, considering this was when we were both completely sober I was pretty pleased with the result. At the moment things are going well, we're getting on really well and just keeping things casual at the moment, but what I can only guess is that shes starting to have feelings for me again. Sweet! So tips and things I've learnt from all this : - To get them back you have to force yourself to stop caring - NC works, ignore for as long as you like, dont be afraid of what they'll think - Take time for yourself, work out, go to the gym, eat well, dress well - Hang out with your friends more, you'll appreciate being around them at this difficult time - STAY AWAY FROM FACEBOOK! Delete their posts from the live feed and ban yourself from their profile! - Do things that you always wanted to do but couldnt - Get crunk and party party party, makes you feel awesome - Hook up with other women/men, defo. helps getting over them. - Dont try to contact them, let them come to you. Don't go crawling back instantly, make them work for - Keep things casual, dont create drama out of nothing, play it cool and your on your way there - Remember how you were before you were together. Become that person again - thats what he/she liked in the first place. This has worked for me, wont work for everyone, most probably not the people who did the dumping, but everyones different. Most important thing I learnt was that the second you stop caring about them and start caring about yourself is the second they'll come back.