ConfusedAgain

My ex and were together for a year, and had known each other about 3 years before dating. There were ups and downs though. He deployed for Afghanistan in April 2010 and came back Nov 2010. He proposed to me over the phone May 2010. I started to not trust him not long after left because of some weird relationship he had had with someone else before me. They met online and never met in person, but lived near each other. He was always bothered she would not meet him. I found out that they had been in contact not long after he left. He said he wanted to know why she never wanted to meet him and with his buddies, got her to send pics of what she really looked like. The version of the story I got, was that she randomly contacted him with pics of herself, not the fake pics she had been using online. I started to be upset with him in September. He finally admitted he had to know why she would never meet him and with peer pressure from guys at work, he kept emailing her for pics. I had a hard time with this. If we are engaged, why would you feel the need to even care about her? So, I still decide to leave the state I’m in and move accross the country to set up our new apartment in Oct. He gets home in Nov, and I just wanted to smack him, I was still mad about what he did. We fought and I left twice and went to my mother's house, and then he moved out of state for his next assignment. We were still together at this point, and talking, figuring out if we were going to work or not. I had not had sex with him since he got back, and I know this was upsetting. But, for me, if I'm upset with you, I will have a hard time being intimate with you. He had lied about a couple of other things, they were minor, but I was trying to trust him again…and having a hard time with that as well. Part of me wanted him to leave me alone and another part wanted to try to work out with him. I was afraid because he has some drama and can at times create more. He has two little girls and is always wanting revenge on his ex-wife and ex-fiancee that cheated on him. It's a bit exhausting at times. I understand where he is coming from, but things just need to be let go of after a certain amount of time. So, he went on a date and didn’t tell me until the next day and told me he was only waiting until I had some medical tests come back to tell me he didn’t want me anymore. I had heard this before from him and I hadn’t been making it easy on him because I was still not in the same state with him. He didn’t want to date this particular woman, but wanted to see if he could move on. Normally for him, he will not keep in contact or stay friends with an ex, the exception is the ex-wife due to their kids. But, he said he broke another rule for me, and wanted me to still be in his life. I had asked if he thought we would possibly be together again and he said maybe. We didn’t talk much more about it and I didn’t want to push the subject. So, the next week, he goes on a date with someone else. (At least this is what he said - again not sure if he was telling the truth because both these women live far from him, could be the same one). And tells me that she was nice and has a child as well. Then the next night, he has a formal dinner to go to. I don’t hear from him at all until the next day. He told me he took this woman he just met and he had sex with her, but she was very aggressive and had some outlandish sexual fantasies and that she scared him. The next day, I brought up the subject of us being together again and he said, what if you come out here tomorrow and be with me and not be mad that I slept with her? I still have strong feelings for you and I miss you very very much. I said I that was big and I asked my question because I figured for the moment he was doing his thing and needed time. We didn’t get to talk more about this. Fast forward to Saturday morning, I get a text message saying him and this woman are now dating seriously. It’s barely been two weeks for us to be split and he has not even know this woman a week. I’m thinking it’s primarily a rebound relationship and he is there because she is only about 1-2 hours from him and will have sex with him. Then I hear nothing else from him until last night. He texts me for a pic. I ask why. The response is “My girlfriend wants to know what you look like.”. I cannot believe he could be that stupid, cruel and hurtful. Nor can I believe that I still want to be with him. I texted him back and I’ll pass on the pic. Then a few minutes later I texted him that what she wants is not my concern. I have made no effort to contact him, nor has he contacted me. We talked every single day before all of this, multiple times usually through text during the day and by phone at night. We also play and online game together - so we would talk there as well. (I can tell he is with her, because he doesn't log onto the game now). Nor has he been on Facebook to even update anything. (Yes, I know, I should not even look). Now I am sitting here alone, depressed and upset. I wanted to work things out with him, but feel like I’ve been slapped in the face. I know I did my share of wrongs in the relationship, I didn't shower him with the attention he needed post-deployment, but I was so angry with him, nor had we lived together, I guess we spent a huge amount of time in the relationship apart from each other. I know it may not be best, but I do still love him and want a chance to try this one last time with him, but how is that possible if he is with someone else so soon? I'm really scared right now, because he told me he loved me within a week of dating...And I'm guessing he has said this to her as well. If he still has strong feelings for me, I'm wondering if he buried them for now? I wanted to send him a text about some of these things, but I keep stopping myself from doing it. He did respond to one I had sent not long after he said he wanted to move on, that was when he decided to stay in contact with me. (This was before sleeping with that other woman). And I kind of feel if I don't do something now, I have no chance, but on the other hand he is already with someone :sad: