The silence is deafening in my life. I'm getting better, but I do miss you. I've almost come to terms with the fact that we won't be talking in the evenings like we did every day for five years. Sometimes I go to bed and don't cry anymore. I've actually gone for several hours at a time without thinking of you. I am healing. How strange, this sensation of not having you in my life when you were there for so long. How can someone just abandon someone else like that? I have tried hard not to worry about you and what you are doing. I hope you are happy and moving on, because I have always wanted the best for you. I now think back to Thanksgiving and realize why you were hesitant to make a commitment to spend Christmas with me. I guess we just pushed you into it. But, I didn't know you were done with us. I thought we were on our second chance. Those Christmas memories have just been turned into a painful sham. When I think of those things, it just hurts me tremendously. You should have let me go long ago. You shouldn't have dragged it out. You should have talked to me. I should have demanded it. I should have paid more attention. We really screwed this up.