anonymous12

I stare into the air as if it were a masterpiece; my eyelids unwavering, my pupils wide awake. When someone talks to me, I answer back as if I were the recording on an answering machine; my voice is not affectionate nor endearing, welcoming nor warm. However, no one seems to notice it or maybe they got used to it too. I try to connect to my surroundings, but the chord seems to be unwhole; I’m simply disconnected from myself and the rest of the world. Suddenly the numbness overcomes me, I try to ward it off, failing after the first trial but I never give up. In the darkness you will find me, searching for an exit into the light. Eventually I do find it peaking through a narrow window. However, it’s not the authentic whiteness; the one that’s infinite, but a small glimpse of what I’ll soon experience after I win this strenuous fight.

Some days are good and some are bad; today is not so good. I need you SO much these days. I miss you so much even after all that has happened, even after all that you have done I want you back. Sometimes I wish that you'd call me and tell me that you regret it and want me back. Sometimes I wish we wouldn't have got engaged so that maybe we could fix things and maybe we could get back together. Part of me still thinks you care about me and that what you did was because of the circumstances and the timing. I still hope and wish that it's true. I just wish things were different. Too much damage has been done and it makes me really sad to know that the probability of us getting back together is next to zero.

I cant's tell you how much I can relate to what you said ! Except in my case he was 24 and we were engaged. It's been two months now and I just can't seem to get over it. Does it get any better ?!