hidden_kitten

I have a free house the next couple of days, thank goodness. Everyone’s at BEC level here.

Messaged three guys on Bumble, no responses. Casper keeps appearing in the app again and still look insanely hot. I’m pretty sure he’s using old photos though.

Tinder, guys who message are too far away to set up a quick date, and no one has planned as far as the weekend yet. Ho hum.

I have finished a book! Spent the last two years promising myself I’d read more but would only manage a few pages here and there. This was a true crime nonfic and I couldn’t put it down.

Hey MrMan, I’ve not much advice to give other saying I know what you’re going through! 
 

I’m female and find that guys seem happy to ghost too, so I don’t think it’s necessarily anything to do with your approach. If I liked a guy, and he wanted to set up another date, I’d be happy to hear from the next day arranging something/checking in. If I wasn’t feeling it then I would respond then that I didn’t feel the same but thanks anyway.

I’ve also been thinking of taking a step back from trying to date, maybe that would quell the anxiety for a bit.

Don’t have the energy for a longer post, but this week I met up with a friend from university who has become quite successful in his industry, the same one I trained for. He said the last project he worked on was a complete doozy and shared some work stories to let off steam. As frustrated as I am with work/career, it made me feel better that I’m not the only one trying to wade forward through ****. 
 

Then at the end of my shift today my boss tells me she’s giving me a pay rise next month, saying she’s noticed how hard I’ve pitched in. There’s been plenty days where I don’t feel like I deserve that, but definitely is a nice end to the week. It won’t be a huge amount by any means but it’s a bit extra into the pension and savings.

My main goals for the next couple of months -

Get car fixed (next week fingers crossed).

ACTUALLY drive it.

Decide if I’m moving out and where.

Narrowboats 💕! Never been on one but they remind me of a twee children’s television show from the 90s in which the main characters lived on a narrowboat, haha

On 9/17/2021 at 1:08 AM, Jibralta said:

Anyway, I'm very glad I didn't quit, even though that job was horrible torture, and even though balancing a job search and job interviews on top of that horrible job felt like death.

I’m being too lazy to go back and look at the timeline - but how long was it before you got the next job? Battling with this myself. Got enough savings that i could walk away, but I know that would ruin my reference (and pride I suppose) that I left with nothing else lined up

Huh, nope I’m all out of ideas 🤣

When I’ve encountered that before, the main reasons seem to be they’re not that tech savvy and get locked out of one account, and just quickly make a new profile instead of resetting passwords/contacting support or what have you. 
 

Another is that there’s been a keyboard war with someone, so they make a new profile and re-add friends and family still loyal to them, I guess.

Had a date in the capital last night. He seemed easy to get on with, we’re in similar industries….and I’ve heard nothing today. Queen of first dates at the moment haha.

I’m still obsessed with Casper. He keeps cropping up on various dating apps. I haven’t blocked him yet because I keep holding out that we might meet up again. Which of course I know is ridiculous because he knows I liked him and he hasn’t made any effort to get back in touch since July. Sad face. 

On 9/9/2021 at 10:37 PM, dias said:

At some point he said "I want you to be close to the business team as much as possible, you have a lot of potential in this company" he paused for a couple of seconds and added "if you are planning to stay".

Is there a high turnover in this company/industry?

Do you feel that getting your degrees has been worthwhile, even if it’s set you behind slightly in the ‘master plan’?

20 hours ago, LaHermes said:

Why, in any case, are they directing their complaints and grumpiness at you in particular?

Needing to vent I guess. We are a very, very small team and basically one-man departments. Can’t avoid any of them because the back office is open plan. I’m probably a source of some of the grumpiness with being late with some deadlines recently. However with things like the schedule,  or how we have no budget to work with, I don’t have any influence over. 

20 hours ago, Jibralta said:

That's not a good walking date at all. The guy should at least walk along side you! Jeez....

Yeah, although I’m not a fast walker anyway (I blame being short but more likely being out of shape haha). At least that’s something Casper did right, he dropped back and walked at my pace. I remember being on holiday with a couple of different exes, and we would go out exploring the towns we were visiting. They would complain how slow I was too, when all I was doing was wanting to take in the architecture/scenery in a new place.

How do I deal with colleagues that threaten to quit every couple of days? They are peers, and we’re all sharing extra burdens right now, but I’ve no idea how to respond apart from agreeing that things are tough right now. I don’t know if they’re wanting me to come up with a solution for them…or to tell them, ok, jog on then??

Our tech guy is currently very grumpy and ***ly to be around, who also voices complaints in my direction, when I have no control over the schedule or book any events. Direct it at the boss who does!

Had a ONS at the start of the week. Wasn’t as exciting as I thought it might be, but hey, got to have a bit of fun.

Although being queen of bad decisions, also had a first meet in my town that I scheduled really soon after a work shift, won’t be doing that again. Hate all the rushing around. It was strange matching with someone in my hometown who I didn’t go to school with 20 years ago, haha. We went for a walk around the park. I’ve found that I’m not a big fan of walking dates - the guy tends to charge ahead while I’m waddling behind trying to hold a conversation. He seems like a nice guy, but didn’t really feel anything for him. We both seemed socially awkward, although he loosened up toward the end of the walk. So, not sure if I’ll meet with him again.

Around 6 months back on dating apps and have finally had a run in with an antivaxxer. My responses to him were the digital equivalent of nodding and smiling but took a couple of days to respond to his last message, having not turned on app notifications and having no bandwidth for even talking to friends after my shifts this week. I next log in and see that he’s called me a “disgusting pig” for ignoring him. Wished him well. Blocked him.

Casper changed his photos on his dating app profile. Still annoyingly friggin cute. Attraction is weird. Why can’t I feel this way about any other guy who is actually interested in me? 

On a positive note my weight seems to be staying where it is instead of creeping up again. Under 75kg. Would like to hit 70kg some point soon so need to work on that. Pools are still operating with lanes/timed slots which is way too organised for me.

I have my laptop open at home trying to finish some editing which should have been completed DAYS ago but I can’t make the move to finish it. In an odd position at work where I’m ridiculously behind but doing extra days trying to catch up. Boss is aware of both, so don’t think I’m quite on the firing line, or maybe that’s what I’m subconsciously trying to do to myself.

Had to bail on a date this week. Completely underestimated the time and effort it takes for an exhibition install, so was in no mood to head into town to spend two hours with someone I’d never met just to come home again. Thankfully the guy seemed to understand, and also works in events so is probably no stranger to things overrunning. I get into this thought spiral of hating this town and my job so need to make an effort with my social life again, but I probably have no business doing so until moving out/car is sorted and tht is so boring and tedious!

36 minutes ago, LaHermes said:

Time to try a different industry HK. Or train for a different industry. Yes?

Possibly! I'm not sure what that would be yet. There's bits of this job that I do know I'm good at and get good feedback from customers so need to research if that's viable

Spent my birthday weekend in the capital. Definitely a buzz around town, and just aimlessly wandered with no plan.

I would like to get more comfortable with doing things alone, like going to restaurants. I went to a thai place I'd wanted to visit for a few years, and got seated before a family of four because I was on my own. Cue evil eyes boring into me while eating, although I think the mum in the group didn't realise how crowded it would be inside (socially distancing is no longer legally enforced here so places are cramming people in).

Put messages out to potential booty calls, and both bailed. Which annoyed me more than it should have. Telling myself I'm not good enough for a quickie, but really I think it's because neither were Casper and I really need to forget him...

On 8/7/2021 at 5:18 PM, Jibralta said:

Just curious: what did you think you were signing up for, and what did you actually end up with?

When I was offered the job, I was told that everyone's role was well-defined and with the profit that the venue was making at the time we were able to take our foot off the pedal and not be rushing around all the time. With the pandemic and live events industry being decimated, our freelance staff have left so everyone's chasing their tail trying to implement the same amount of work. My previous retail experience (which my boss and colleagues are well aware of) was very much boss says do this and you go and do it. Whereas now I'm getting mountains of stuff piled on and I don't know how to push back in a professional manner.

I see similar roles advertised now that places are opening up again, but don't know if it's this particular venue that's a dumpster fire and I'd get better support elsewhere, or maybe the whole industry is like this. Tricky considering Scotland is so small to begin with.

Gah I don't know. Maybe every career has crappy stages like this and I'm just a decade behind figuring it all out.

Job is still terrible. Basically I don’t know what I’m going to be walking into each day, and it’s been making me reluctant to turn up which obviously is a complete no-no.

I feel guilty for wanting to leave. I was handed this job without an interview and feel like leaving would ruin any reference I wanted from my boss.

However, it seems that this sort of role has a constant baseline level of chaos no matter how organised or prepared I try to be. I guess there will be personalities out there that thrive in that situation, but I definitely don’t. Felt the same when volunteering at a film festival last year.

The job is no longer what I thought I was signing up to (post covid crap) and my personal circumstances have changed - I’m looking at my 34th birthday still living in my childhood bedroom with no social circle nearby and no romantic prospects. So why the eff am I staying.

Sunk cost fallacy. Admitting I’ve failed. Having to explain to people why the 180 when on paper this should be a dream job. I know I won’t act on things for a while but writing it out is helping.

Hahaha I've not seen that one. Is it weird that I really want a Fiat 500 dress, it looks great!

I'm only happy driving tiny city cars and need to trade in for something new, had my eye on 500s for a while. An ex would refer to them as rollerskates, lol.

Need. To. Move. Out.

Although my parents give me a lot of space and privacy, and we have loads of room for the three of us here, it really feels like we're getting in each other's way recently.

Like for my morning shift, there's a particular time that I get ready in order to leave the house on time. But lately my parents have been beating me to the bathroom/using the kitchen. But they're retired. THEY HAVE NOWHERE TO GO. Why not stay in bed other ten mins until I'm done aaarggh. Yes I've tried getting up a bit earlier but then those are the days that dad has randomly woken up before me and still gets there first!

Also want to come and go as I please without having to explain to anyone where I am and what I'm doing.

Was in Glasgow yesterday to meet a guy off a dating app. The date was quite nice, we have a mutual love of a certain sport but he was schooling me on a lot (I've only started following the sport again in the last year). Went for coffee then a couple of beers. I'm still pining for Casper.

First world problems: when I left the house in the morning my phone wasn't fully charged. That's ok I thought, grabbed a cable so I could charge it on the way on the bus, and if not, the train through to Glas. Well, the only vehicle with charging ports was my last bus home, so I had to buy a new ticket when boarding because the original was only accessible on (my now dead) phone! Grr.

Still nothing from cute guy who I’ll rename as Casper the not-so-friendly ghost. Won’t be chasing him a third time, he knows how to reach me and that I’m interested. Still gutted though.

Have tentative plans for a date with someone else through in Glasgow on Friday. Honestly I think I only agreed to get it out the way..and need a distraction from the circus in a dumpster on fire that is work. 

Welp, couldn’t get him out of my mind…and we did end up meeting last weekend. But you’ll have guessed, barely heard from him this week. Ah well, I got a couple of snogs out of it which were very nice at the time 🤭.

That will just have to satiate me for the time being.

Work has still been rubbish this week. I know I have to pull my finger out and get something successful for the cv but motivation is still very scarce.

Thanks both. I still haven’t made up my mind. Work has been a mess really, made headway in some respects and lost the plot in others. Part of my pros and cons list was to be about that job but if I do that now I don’t think I’d turn up for my next shift. Hoping once the summer is out of the way, things will go back to the old way that events were booked and scheduled and not as much chasing of tails.

Talking of chasing tail - that cute guy I was messaging a few months back? I made a new profile on a couple of apps and we ended up matching again, so I’ve been lightly teasing him for not getting back in touch. In response he’s asked to take me out this weekend…however he’s not initiating any planning or confirming that it’s still happening.

I don’t really want to message AGAIN just to be ghosted like last time…so do I just wait for him to get in touch with me about plans?? We live in different towns 25 miles apart so a heads up would have been nice so I know when to travel in, or to make other plans if he’s not interested. I mean, is this fun for some guys just to mess people about? And did he have to be the most friggin handsome one!