hidden_kitten
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Negative Nelly update and need to vent. So….got a new boss at work and things are not going well. At the beginning of the year it did feel like a blank slate and things were on the way up but it’s gone in totally opposite direction. Most of the team want to leave now, which may end up with me remaining the longest serving core member but think I need to get out soon. Dating has been really frustrating. Down in the dumps because one guy I’ve been crushing on the past couple of years (!) hoping he would miraculously come around appears to have a girlfriend now. Feel absolutely nothing when talking/meeting new people. Got to the point where I’m meeting up with an ex who dumped me on Xmas eve years ago. This sucks.
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Last proper date was in August, where I had no attraction to the guy in person. He seemed like he could be a nice friend but was clearly more into me so messaged him after to say thanks but no thanks. Since then an ex has resurfaced and have an friends with benefits situation going on. Not healthy in the slightest but meets some needs right now. I really miss being in a relationship though. Work is still rubbish. We’ve had someone new start who's extremely enthusiastic/straightforward and has loads of experience in events so I was hoping that would turn things around, however they’re now at an impasse with the marketing dept and will probably leave in the new year. I don’t know how to help them because this place has always been like that. On a positive note I’m being sent to a conference in a city I used to live in. Slightly terrified at the networking element and coming across like I have any idea what I’m talking about. Asked my boss if there’s anything in particular I should be finding out/doing there but she just goes “not really, just go enjoy it”. SO HELPFUL THANKS
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Same here, it's definitely been my annus horribilis. Surprising, a lot of rubbish stuff happened last year too. I just want to make it to the end of the year then reset for 2023. Hope you find your place soon too Dias! (PS my phone hates the new-ish forum layout so apologies for any duplicate posts/weird notifications haha)
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Been a busy few months. The colleague that has been signed off is still going through treatment and probably won’t be back (if at all) until next year. So boss is extra stressed trying to find cover. In the meantime I’m trying to keep on top of things, but how do others in a busy office do it? I can’t focus because there’s no guarantee I’ll get a least 20 minutes of continuous peace where I don’t have to help out on Box Office, answer the phone for ticket bookings, help colleagues because the website is playing up again (and I have no more training than they do on fixing it) or the constant noise from the cafe that’s right next door. I did run into FB guy again. Well, he pulled up in his car while I was walking along the street and offered a lift home. “No thank you”. “AW COME ON ARE YOU SURE??” while holding up traffic because he’s pulled over near an awkward junction. I keep walking and he turns off another street. Cue two days of me feeling like a jerk but if I give in a be nice again, it’ll be more of the same s***. Convos on dating apps keep fizzling out so still no dates this year. I’m still have a weird crush on Casper who keeps cropping up on apps. Yes I’m a total idiot. I need a new hobby that will get me out the house and meet people my own age. When you’re not sporty that’s really difficult here. Will keep looking.
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This gets better, right? A vital member of staff had to get signed off work very quickly a couple of weeks ago. Without doxxing myself/anyone else, boss is optimistic that they’ll come back to work at least part time but I’ve no idea how that can be predicted with any certainty. Managed to get temporary cover but the replacement doesn’t have quite the same skillset, so there’s a lot of pressure on the rest of us to deliver events in the same way we did. My knowledge only goes so far and I’m sure as hell don’t get paid enough for the hours/worrying I’ve been doing.
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Oh what will you be doing? Painting? Life drawing?
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Exactly! I was ignoring his most recent messages (I know, coward’s way out) but his latest one was saying he’d bought me a Valentine’s gift. He’d also make jokes about proposing. None of my guy friends do this, ever. I was probably too harsh in my response but told him I wasn’t comfortable with this and couldn’t accept the gift. He deleted his next message before I got to read it, then unfriended me on FB….hopefully won’t run into him around town. Also turned down a meet with a man off Tinder - hadn’t even met yet or had any substantial conversation, and he was telling me that he missed me. ???? Sorry pal, I’ve “met someone else”.
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Maybe he’ll stumble onto my journal and get the hint 😂
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It’s been an odd start to the year. A lot of events at the venue I work at were pulled amid ongoing restrictions, so I should be taking advantage of the extra downtime, however I’m still running around like a headless chicken at the last minute. Not been on any dates this month for that reason, but have found myself in an odd predicament with an acquaintance. He’s about twenty years older and I met him through my last job in retail. In this small town you get to know the regular customers and he was in every couple of days. He got in touch through Facebook recently, saying it would be nice to ‘catch up’. Having eff all social life here I thought why not and we went out for lunch a couple of times. Now he’s texting me a lot trying to arrange the next meetup but eh, we really don’t have that much in common. I’m worried that he’s hoping for more when i don’t even talk to my best friends as much as he wants to, and fear that I’ve made him think I’m interested. Argh. Trying to pull the slow fade and “oops I’m really busy from now until forever” excuse.
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I first started using dating apps around 2018, and viewed them as an extra way to meet new people that I wouldn’t normally. Live in a rural town and not many people the same age around. Met my last boyfriend by using them, we met relatively quickly in real life and dated for two years. My second stint with them isn’t going so well, although I’ve been getting matches and dates so I guess it depends how you look at it. In the last year think I’ve met about 9 men off the apps but most were ‘one and done’ and nothings developed further. They’re annoyingly addictive too, tried to take a break over new year but think I only lasted a few days away 🤣
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Christmas was pleasant and quiet. Swapped presents with parents early afternoon (Mum and I are late risers 😆) then Dad did most of the meal prep. Very non traditional Indian themed, was lovely and there were leftovers for days afterwards. In the evening watched the most recent Bond movie with them. Had an online video call with old high school friends, they all seem well. Would be better if we could get together properly. Tomorrow will visit my sister and nephew. Left work early on Friday (Christmas eve). It was just me and the cafe manager, and we found ourselves with no customers around 1pm. Officially we were meant to stay open until 3 but between decided to take advantage and shut everything down there and then. By the time the doors were closed was probably more like 2pm, so not too far off! Been napping and sleeping in A LOT. Didn’t leave the house again until Monday so that also tuckered me out when i came home, but also haven’t been regular on my anti depressants so I wonder if that’s affecting my energy levels. Really want to get on top of sleep pattern/health in 2022.
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Not much happening on the dating apps. None of the messages I send first are replied to, and they’re a mixture of ‘hey’ and thoughtful openers if they’ve bothered to write anything at all in their bios. The ones that contact me seem to only want hook ups. Meanwhile I’m getting ridiculously close to messaging Casper again, who appears to still be single. Trying to stay strong!
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Wondering if the UK, or even just Scotland, will go back into some sort of lockdown. The timing is annoying, mainly because it’s made planning at work for January really awkward. There’s a load of stuff I need to get off my plate by this weekend but I have a feeling I’ll be following it up with “sorry, all change again!”. We have a run of three concerts this week which are still going ahead unless any new announcements come tomorrow. People are calling up saying they don’t feel comfortable coming and can they get a refund, but our policy is that can only happen if the show is cancelled outright. Such a weird time.
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I just can’t decide on a plan of action. I don’t know whether to look for another job in the same industry (but possibly ruining my current references in the process) or try and get into the one I trained in, or retrain for something new altogether. I don’t know if I should move out and stay local while working here a bit longer, or keep saving and move further afield as soon as I can when a new job comes up. I know there’s no ‘right’ decision as such, but need to commit to a path and stick with it. I felt in limbo for years with one foot out the door everywhere I’ve worked.
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I really don't know how to take the next step. Was almost hyperventilating on the way home from work with all the thoughts swirling in my head. Part of me wants someone to just tell me what the right decision is so I can move on from here. Instead I'm going in circles. I know I don't want to be 34 and in this town with no social life and in this job....but I don't know what the alternative is 😞
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I envy your ability to pick up and move on to wherever. Not just because your situation allows it but your mentality towards it as well. Wish I could be more of a nomad
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Booked a week off to wander around Manchester. Came back home last night, the come down is real. Did a lot of walking, seeing more of the city than previous visits. Had a Tinder date the second night, but he kind of overstayed his welcome. We were wandering around lost (he’s also new in the city) at midnight while he could find a takeaway. I just wanted to leave and go to bed! To contradict that, I was wishing I visited with a friend or partner because there was a few places I wanted to go but they wouldn’t have been enjoyable or safe on my own. Even just walking by the canals I’d have like to have shared it with someone. Wondering if I would want to live in this part of the country. Need to fix my stupid life and go somewhere.
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Presentation went well, and it looks like some ideas I brought up are going to be implemented. Unfortunately that means I’ve signed myself up for at least another 9 months of projects…I was trying to leave, dammit! While work is improving (slightly), still frustrated on the dating front. There’s one guy that seems to be using me just for sexy chat and bails whenever I ask him to meet up in person. I do enjoy sexting but the whole point for me is that it’ll lead to the real thing…but these guys seem to be all talk no walk. Think I’m going to ghost him if he resurfaces. I might not want a serious thing right now but sick of being messed about.
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I’m not sure, I know there was a big influx of Irish in the mid 19th century but I feel that’s too recent. Will need to sit mum down and ask her properly!
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I find this stuff so interesting - you’re inspiring me to get my butt in gear and do research on my own family. My mum already started on relatives on her side, and I think has traced it back to when great-great-somebody migrated from Ireland over to Scotland. Any further back will probably be tricky because it’s a very common surname. Want to learn more about my dad’s side, and really regret not talking more with my gran (his mother) when she was alive. He feels the same and has inherited loads of family photographs but no idea who some of the people are in them.
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I have to give an informal presentation at work in a couple of days, and had a bad dream about it this morning. Group meetings at work aren’t always well planned - and sometimes take place in the cafe so there’s enough space but you’re constantly distracted by other customers/noise/people needing served at box office. In the dream I was struggling to raise my voice to be heard and was being interrupted every minute. Hope the real thing goes a bit smoother!
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I’m so sorry Bolt, but it does sound like you’ve made the best decision. My experience with cats is that the pain/suffering they’re in doesn’t become apparent until it’s really bad, headstrong wee things that they are. We (my family) had our last two cats ashes put into urns shaped like stones that we put in the garden in their favourite old spots. Mum will even move them in bad weather “I need to get the cats out of the rain” 😄 Glad that you’ll be with her until she sleeps.
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New guy, been messaging for a couple of weeks and a couple of phone calls, seemed like we could get on well. I said I was free today but he needed to check when he was free in the afternoon and would get back to me. Not a peep from him today. I’ve no other means right now to meet new people, getting ignored/ghosted is so frustrating! But maybe it’s just as well - could not get going today at all. When it was apparent he wasn’t getting in touch I just stayed in bed. Didn’t surface until 3pm 😕 Got a loooong week ahead. Think I’m in work almost every day.
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Had an odd reaction to a guy I’ve been seeing very casually telling me he’s met someone else. It was never expected or discussed that we were in a relationship and it was a very ‘you’ll do for now’ situation, but I definitely felt rejected when his text came through. In the meantime I had a couple of first meets in the city. One seemed more keen than I was, and he’s a lovely guy but can’t say I felt any attraction to him romantically. He was trying to get me to come back to his flat toward the end of the date but I excused myself that I’d better get the next bus home. Should have messaged that I didn’t feel anything but may have left it too long now. The other guy, a bit older than me, went for coffee. Conversation was kind of run of the mill but I think we were both nervous. He made a light hearted comment ‘we could do that on a second date’ when talking about favourite walks around the city. However, he’s not initiated any contact since. Unnerving work comment: colleague casually mentions “when I retire and you take over my department…” argh no lady! I’m trying to leave as well not take on even more work 😄
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My rust bucket on wheels has had its brakes fixed. My usual mechanic couldn’t see me until next week, MOT ran out this week so had to go to the next town over. Furthest I’ve driven since my break up. Was sooo close to backing out and cancelling. Peak commuter times as well with lots of traffic there and back, but more practice. Saw a couple of dodgy overtakes too, stayed well back! Went into the city while the car was worked on. Did a LOT of walking, my phone tells me it’s over 16000 steps. I’m not sure how accurate it is though. With plenty time to kill, visited Edinburgh Castle. I’ve never been inside the actual buildings. Watched the one o’clock gun fire at close range. Finally ticked off the list at age 34!
