BeaTlesFan77

2 hours ago, graphicdesigner said:

I've been online dating for 6 months now, and I have to say, the one thing I really hate from OLD is how these men all seem to ask the same questions. It feels like a job interview. And I guess in a way, it is an "interview" for that next special person in my life, but it seems too staged and rehearsed. They all ask what I'm looking for and what do I want to get out of this (i.e. OLD). I just like it to evolve naturally like in the old days of dating. Not so many questions about what my intentions are. Maybe because I'm not necessarily looking for anything serious, so it seems to stick out to me, but I just wish these questions were more genuine.

I don’t know if you’ve done speed dating, but it’s pretty much the same thing. Feels like a job interview and you hear the same questions over and over. The last couple of times I did it, I got upset because the background music was pretty loud.  If I’m paying for something like this, I want to be able to hear everyone.  

This was tonight’s movie. Took a break from the crime and documentaries. 

On 6/11/2024 at 10:09 PM, ShySoul said:

Why do so many of these shows seem to revolve around the dark side of humanity and fallen heroes? Am I the odd one for not wanting to watch that stuff? There's enough bad things happening around me everyday, don't really want to delve into the minds of killers and abusers. Give me an old fashioned sitcom or tale of a noble superhero any day.

Same way I would ask others how can you watch movies like Fifty Shades of Grey?  I guess for me it’s interesting to see how the perpetrators on the shows became what they became. How were they brought up and what events happened in their life to generate their feelings. Believe me, I am also into comedies and superhero movies. 

15 hours ago, tattoobunnie said:

My two buddies, both ladies, one in their mid 40's, one in their mid 50's, both found great, normal dudes, on Facebook dating.  I mean, they are really cool dudes.

Great to hear they were successful on that platform. 

14 hours ago, yogacat said:

I treated myself to a Blondie t-shirt from Amoeba Records😂, I always found her to be so iconic and edgy.

The shirt is bright yellow which is kind of fitting (i.e. 'blondie').

Blondie's music is a perfect blend of punk, New Wave, and pop, their influence on the music industry is undeniable. 🎸

🤭

 

I love Amoeba Records and would love to have one of those near me!  Only one I’ve been to so far is the one in Hollywood. 

12 hours ago, mylolita said:

And apologies ladies and gentlemen, I am being sentimental and patriotic, and my mind has gone to all these British female solo artists! And who has to come to my lil’ ol’ thoughts but the one and only KATE BUSH ANYONE!?

 

She wrote this when she was 14!

 

HEATHCLIFFE, IT’S MEEEEE!!

 

 

Legend in my eyes! A genius! 
 

x

 

I’m pretty sure everyone has heard it, but the only song I know is Running Up That Hill. Love the background instrumentation on that one!

As the title suggests, I recently got laid off from a position I had for two years.  My resume is all updated in addition to the job sites I visit.  When you were between careers, how did you structure your day as far as putting out resumes and looking?  Thanks. 

I've seen two different documentaries about this POS.  One on Netflix and then Tubi (which could have been the Lifetime version).  It is very angering to see a family destroyed like this!  There is an episode of American Monster on Investigation Discovery that is similar.  This guy was even worse.   

https://www.investigationdiscovery.com/video/american-monster-investigation-discovery/say-daddys-the-best

Then I'm sure you've all heard of Robert Fisher.

On 6/7/2024 at 4:58 PM, yogacat said:

 

I would have to say that my favorite by them is "Dreaming".

One of the guys I mentioned, R, is a friend from high school who never got married and doesn't have any children.  Except for the ones he teaches at school.  Then the other guy, J,  I met through him.  We all have the same interests in common in our late 40s.  J has a son who just turned 18 and is heading to college out of the city but in the same state.   

On a sad note, I recently lost one of my long-term friends who I met at work 27 years ago.  I guess we finally drifted apart and are on different paths.  Every time I have asked him to meet for dinner in the last couple of months, he never responds when I ask him what would be a great day for him with his schedule.  Then he never follows up.  I understand that he's a school administrator, married, and has one boy in high school and one about to enter soon.  So I don't expect him to be available on demand.  However, he can't go out for a couple of hours once in a while just to catch up. 

I have another friend from high school, A, who I connected with again in the last few years.  For some reason, I forgot to mention him earlier in this thread.  He's married with two girls in high school.  At least once a month or every other month we meet for dinner for a couple of hours.  One time we even went to an MLB game. 

One of the Meetups I used to go to I made a friend for a month or so.  He was getting into religion and attending church every weekend.  We had different thoughts on religion which caused friction. 

2 hours ago, Starlight925 said:

No, I don't think it's cute.

I don’t think it’s cute either and I was poking fun at how ridiculous it is. When I said I wouldn’t mind being interviewed by Batman, I was being sarcastic. 

More A.I. in action.  Too bad you can't choose a cartoon character from TV or movies.  I wouldn't mind being interviewed by Batman.  With the Christian Bale version voice.  😆

https://www.wired.com/story/ai-cartoon-next-job/?utm_source=pocket-newtab-en-us

On 6/6/2024 at 10:19 PM, ShySoul said:

Might also help to think of the advantages dating in middle age can have:

https://www.raemona.com/post/dating-over-the-age-of-40-why-it-s-nowhere-near-scary-as-you-think

Thank you for sharing this article!  Great info and I saved it to my Pocket app. 

I agree with everyone else that it shouldn’t be an issue going through social media if that’s the only way you are able to talk to her. If you are able to get her number somehow, then I would ask her out by phone and have something in mind based on what you’ve talked about. I’m thinking doing it over the phone shows more confidence. 

1 hour ago, catfeeder said:

I hear. I'd like to encourage everyone to explore one overlooked and marginalized source of social mentorship. Befriending elderly people can give you some of the same kind of enjoyment as being with children. They've seen it all, been there, done that, and a common theme I've found is a certain embrace of regression. While some might regress into being childish, petty, and as you say, jaded and biter, many others regress into adoption of child-LIKE qualities, one of which is a generosity of spirit--because they know things.

Some of the best life skills mentors I've ever known are elderly, sharp, funny, and out to see a 'win' for everyone who crosses their path. They watch us all struggle and can relate even while wishing to impart the wisdom they've gained by simply learning how to r.e.l.a.x.

If you want some great introductions to wonderful people--of all ages--who they've 'collected' over the years, don't overlook the oldest person in the room at any event, class. club or whatever that you might attend. Seek them out, let them open your doors and unlock your barriers, and you will thank yourself.

BTW, @BeaTlesFan77, thank you for an inspiring article and a great discussion.

You’re welcome and yes, this has been a great discussion. 

6 minutes ago, ShySoul said:

My social circle is small too. But I've always thought it should be quality over quantity. I'm guessing you wouldn't trade those two guys for any number of friends. 

Something I read recently but can't recall the source.  The most important people are the ones that show up consistently.  Concentrate more on those people.  Even though it's once in a great while, at least they show up when plans are made. 

1 minute ago, ShySoul said:

One is the loneliest number and there's no where more lonely then being alone in a crowd. But you got through it and you'll get through it next time too. Hopefully it keeps getting easier with time. Sleep does tend to make a difference. That and laughter. 

Keep the faith. You'll be fine.

Absolutely!  Laughter is an instant vacation. 

1 hour ago, yogacat said:

Do you find it harder to make friends as an adult? What inspired you to share this (great read by the way!).

Thanks!  I'm 47 years old and don't have a social circle that I see often.  There are two guys I see once in a great while for a movie and dinner. 

Found this through my Pocket app.  Lots of great curated articles. 

https://www.self.com/story/adult-friendship-stories?utm_source=pocket-newtab-en-us

On 6/7/2024 at 12:47 PM, yogacat said:

It was highly awkward for sure! I hope you're feeling a bit better 💗

Thank you for your kind words Yoga.  I did go to one of my favorite sushi places last night where some of my bad feelings resurfaced.  However, it wasn't like the other night which included violence.  This time it was more being one of the only people alone in a crowded place.  I just remembered some of the things that were discussed in this thread.  Mainly, how can I fix this instead of sulking?  It helped and I got over it quickly.  It also helped to have another great nights sleep. 

5 minutes ago, ShySoul said:

Give yourself a break for feeling that way, it's perfectly understandable. When you feel alone and are struggling, seeing others with the happiness you long for is tough. I've been depressed by the mere sight of people holding hands.To have them shoving their tongues down each others throats would be a nightmare, something no one needs to see regardless of their relationship status.

I'm partial to rolling my eyes, laughing at them, and moving somewhere else. There the ones making public fools of themselves as I doubt anyone else was enjoying the show. Getting upset won't change the situation or make you feel better. It only causes you to stew in your own fustrations and feel worse. So do something else that will make you feel better. Talk to someone else that's there. Head to the pool table. Find another bar free from unwanted distractions. You were out to have fun, right? So have fun. 

Mainly there for the half off food, but yes fun as well.  LOL!

Hi Brittany.  I'm 47, male, have never been married, and no kids.  To be painfully honest it's been very difficult to even find a date.  Let alone a special someone.  As I mentioned in my recent post about PDA, it's become very frustrating and I don't even know what to do anymore.  Then having no kids and never dating someone with kids, I'm feeling confused about dating someone with kids.  I have tried putting myself out there many times (Meetups, singles events, just going out and about to events), but nothing comes of it.  Even if I have a great conversation and get her number, I never hear back from them when I reach out.  Then having a very limited social network right now isn't helping either and have to go out by myself all the time.  I haven't tried online dating in a long time, but it doesn't sound good from all the horror stories you keep hearing.