I am 28 and have no desire for sex. We have been together for over 4 years. We have 2 beautiful children, one who is 3 weeks old. After having our 1st child, I had no desire for sex what-so-ever. I nursed her for almost a year, so throughout this time, still no desire. Just when things seemed to be getting back to normal, we found out we were pregnant again.
I love him very much. We used to have a killer sex life. Sometimes we both wondered if that was the only thing keeping us together. We worked through our issues at the time and things seemed perfect! Once we found out we were pregnant the first time, it wasn't exactly great timing. But we were both happy and ended up having a beautiful little girl. Throghout the pregnancy, I didn't have much of a desire for sex. I work alot of hours and was always tired. He was pretty supportive through this time. After she was born, it only got worse.
I was not only physically tired, but emotionally exhausted from being a 1st time mom. I would give in to try and please him. But after a point, I just felt he was being selfish. If I had sex once, he wanted it the next night and the next. He would tell me that if I would just make love to him, he wouldn't "bother me" for a couple of weeks. But that was not true. The more I gave in, the more often he wanted it. I know he has needs, but I was always tired and exhausted. It got to the point where I wouldn't give in anymore, because he wasn't going to leave me alone for a while.
Things started to get better about 6 months after I quit nursing. I started to lose the extra weight I gained and started to look really good. So, the thinner I got, the more attractive I felt. I started to at least have some interest in sex. Then, bam! We are pregnant again! So, back to the drawing board. My daughter is only 3 weeks old and once again, he is pressing me to have sex with him. Right now, I don't want to for reasons associated with having a baby. Maybe it will be different once these side effects go away! But I am really scared it won't!
I want things to be like they use to, but I don't know how to get there. There is no question I love my spouse! Yeah, he's gained some weight, more than I like, but I am still physically attracted to him. When I see him when he comes home from work, I think how lucky I am to have such a good looking man! He is such a wonderful father! I adore him in so many ways. Not to say that we don't have other opportunities, but for the most part, lack of sex is our biggest problem.
I don't know what is wrong with me. I work the same amount of hours that I worked when we 1st met. Yeah we have more responsibilities, but I don't know how we could get to where we are. We used to have sex 3-4 times a day if not more when we 1st started dating. Then of course, it slowed down. But before we got pregnant, we were still doing it 5-7 times a week. In the last two years, we have probably had sex 20-25 times. That is about once a month! He has so much interest in me that it drives me crazy! I want to get to where we used to be! Even half of what we used to be would be great! Any advice or tips would be helpful. I just don't know why I feel like this! I am only 28 years old!
