felix_london

Swingfox, thanks for the advice, much appreciated. I'm totally willing to wait, but it's difficult when she just wants to forget the whole thing, and is calling me asking if I want to go to a bar tonight, which of course I do, but for the sake of my own sanity, I don't think it's a good idea hahahaha damn this blasted love thing haha. I cannot remember a time in my life where I have been as confused as this? ARGHHHHH!

I met this girl age's ago, she came into where I was working one night with her boyfriend...I was very taken with her, but she had a boyfriend, so that was that. We became friends, all of us, which was great and I'd see them out and about and we'd always have a chat. Then she started coming into my workplace on the off chance I was there for a chat and she ended up giving me her number. Even so she still had a boyfriend and as I now knew him quite well, it wasn't a situation I was willing to get involved in, not wanting bad karma and that. But i'd get the occasional call from her, how are you? what have you been up to etc..and I thought if I couldn't have her, I was more than happy to be able to class her as a friend. Then she started calling, telling me about the problems she was having with her bloke, to which I duly listened as a friend and offered genuinely non biased opinions on, still keeping my mouth firmly shut about my feelings for her. It culminated in her throwing her boyfriend out, no fault of mine he'd not been an angel and had been caught out. So I got a call from her, very upset about the whole situation and she asked me to meet her at her flat..I went there and tried to cheer her up, when she asked me what I thought of her, was she stupid, ugly etc etc, so I asked if she wanted to hear what I thought she'd want to hear, or whether she'd rather the truth....she chose the truth, so I told her, about how long I'd had a real thing about her, how I couldn't have bought myself to tell her when she was with her boyfriend, how much I wanted her, but I also told her that if it wasn't ever to be, then i was fine with that also as she had become a genuine friend and had helped me through a couple of difficult situations. She told me she was stunned that I could feel like that about her, then we kissed and kissed some more and it all got very passionate. I was over the moon, cause I stupidly thought she'd maybe been feeling the same way about me. Next day, I phoned to apologise if I'd overstepped the mark at all, to which she said I hadn't and not to worry about it affecting our friendship, but she apologised saying she may have led me on a bit as she's still in love with her ex.. I really feel hurt, as I poured my heart out, and i've lost out twice as bad, cause i really don't know if I can be around her as a friend (even though I want to be), but that hurt deep, and I still want her. I just don't know what to do????Suggestions anyone? Cheers