Martyrdom

been O.K. I guess. It feels everyday she gets prettier and prettier, and then I look in the mirror..and man. I'm bad looking rofl. I need to get a haircut. Last time she saw me, which was a few days ago, she said it looked like I was dead. It was cold outside, but damn. Trying to learn Heart Shaped Box on guitar; it's keeping me busy I suppose. I can start going to to the Gym now since my surgery I'm not "dying" to call her, but it does sting when I check my phone and I at least didn't get a "how are you text?"...I need some friends. But with 6 months of school left...it'd feel so superficial...I doubt I'll even go to prom now o_o. Hope everyone else is doing good with their NC, or however they are handling it

Good advice, and thank you. Any advice on coping with...thoughts of..."what if shes _________". She was my first everything. I wasn't her first, but I was her longest relationship I believe...

So mine wanted to hang out today...we went and got a snack and talked. She wants to be friends, ( she left me 3 weeks ago... ), and I told her I couldn't just be her friend. It was either more than that or pretty much nothing. She said she missed me...well. You got a new BF the day you broke up with me, your own damn fault >_>. It felt good to be the one in control this time, because she wanted to be my friend like I still wanted to be her BF when she was leaving me. She started to tear up and stuff...all well. Don't want to be 'just friends'; would suck knowing she has a BF and she would know I still want to be together... I guess I wait it out now and hope she wants to come back sometime? Man, I have no friends. I had to get over this stuff on my own Good thing for The Mars Volta, I suppose I'll go back to listening to music or getting better at guitar! I bet shes already over it, having fun with her friends. Any advice on what my next step should be? Was anyone else's Christmas break lame / boring? Two weeks of just..meh... : /. Reading books though; read a few Kurt Vonnegut and David Sedaris... Good luck to everyone else as well, hope things work out better for you guys! Edit: Stream of consciousness much?

What the hell...her "new" BF sent me a Myspace friend request...decided to look at it before slapping the Deny button...really, looking at her myspace just reminds me of more problems and just pisses me off more. Stupid hoochie. Ugh! What's even worse is that I know she is doing just fine hanging out with her friends, and yes, will probably forget about me. Although it feels good when she tries to call and feels like she wants to talk more, I just give her short answers and get to the point of hanging up. Damn it though, the more I think, the more possibilities open, the dimmer chances look; I hate my unfaltering logic I know this is a side note, but I'm probably not going to my High School Prom either now >_ I hope everyone else is in a better situation than myself, and hopefully your relationships will work out! Although listening to music is good too... "And when you wanted me I came to you And when you wanted someone else I withdrew And when you asked for light I set myself on fire And if I go far away I know You'll find another slave"

I was grocery shopping with my mom, the few times that happens where I come along, and I see her and her new BF and some friends "hanging out" at Krogers. Lol what a cool hang out spot...not really. About 40 minutes later she messages me "Are you ok or "Having fun : /?" I forgot what. I just sent back "?", and she sent something else back...forgot what. That ruined my day.

Ya..thats what I am afraid of as well...she already has a new Boyfriend, ( day after she broke up..). Really, what the hell can I do but 'wait' or 'better' myself. Mom thinks I shouldn't get back with her, but I do still want her back...a lot. > She said I wasn't 'fun' enough...we went to the virgin islands...and saw movies...and stuff. Wth! I'm here with ya on treating her like gold, and then getting screwed in the end. It sucks : /

Ugh. Sometimes I HAVE to call her, and I always know exactly who she's with...her new Boyfriend. If he's so great, how can I ever be in the picture again? Is NC supposed to work as a technique to possibly get together again, or really to distract you in hopes of finding someone else ? It really feels horrible when I know who shes hanging around with or when I just think about her. Makes me just wish I would die... ( I'm aware this option wouldn't solve anything...) She just seems so much happier now, and I doubt this will change by the end of the school year or during Seems choosing colleges won't matter because she'll be lost to me...

Haha today was pretty great. She was dying to pick me up from school or talk to me, ( which is rare ), and I just ignored her. > And now that I've started to put my contacts in...I'm better looking than I thought O_O

Get rid of them? Ok I guess me and my pal' Kurt Cobain will get through the boring times. Serve the Servants!

Haha, I actually thought about writing a series of "unsent" letters, like a day by day diary, of how I am directed towards her. Seems it IS a good idea then. Thank you, It'll be rough >_

well I'm jealous. I want mine back for some reason, but at the same time, I can easily turn to hate for an hour or two >_>. It's crazy...

Thanks for that...I'll try my best. No doubt it will hurt everday. She introduced me to her Boyfriend...she said I didn't have enough friends. >_>?

Hey guys...I wish I would have read Superdave's post or known about it before my break-up. Me and My GF broke up, after two years. She came over one day and said she wanted to 'just be friends'. Said problems had been accumulating for a while...I suppose...but it's not like it was all bad! Next day she already has a new boyfriend ( * * * )...and she wonders why sometimes I'm not as 'happy' when around her. She wants to be friends she says, but, we never hang out. And everytime I ask how things are going with her friends, or any 'deep / serious' questions, she says its none of my business anymore since I'm not her BF. >_>. She said maybe she'll come back after shes seen someone different, ^, ( What the hell?). She wants to be friends but I swear, she messes with my head. I also HAVE to ride with her to school, it's easier than the alternative...she says she wants to drive me and all. Still she can't understand why I'm sad sometimes? Shes even said she has "future" plans with this new guy( we've said the same things...), now, they've only been together for a week...but she may have known him since the beginning of the school year. idk. She says shes not lying. She may have been saying that to make me sad or jealous...I don't know. As 'friends' we hang out before first class and thats it, even though we have the same lunch, ( hangs out with her 'rebound bf' and other friends ), and I see her in the hallways and it's not like I get a "hi" or go out to get one either. I miss her a lot and I'm going insane. With college soon, I have to choose where I'm going. I have good enough grades to go anywhere but Ivy League, and I really don't care where I go as long as I'm not lonely or unhappy...makes no difference. I just want to know if I should hang near her... ~ 6 months left of school! Would that be enough NC time you think to get her back?!?! I really want her back >_ : / I really don't have friends lol. During lunch I pretty much sit by myself and listen to music, it sucks, but it seems most lunch tables are full anyways. Gonna die from boredom or loneliness... Any help or advice is appreciated...i'd do anything.