Billymadison

hey kiddo, feel free to email me at email removed and we can talk more about this

Oh dear...just out of curiosity, but how old are you? And how old is this guy? Even though she hasn't said anything, my ex-gf is turned off by my emotional, almost whining side - I know it. Truth is, people can detect weakness - it can be pretty apparent. Strength on the other hand - confidence - that can be quite rare. But the latter is more appealing. When was the last time you heard a guy say, "Hey, see that girl who is begging to be with me? I want to be with her"? I know that I am attracted to confidence, and I bet you are too. This guy has not treated you well - in fact, no girl should be treated the way he treated you. I would never call a girl a hooker. Having said that, however, it also wasn't right of you to go into his email and call up that girl. No good can come from something like that and well, no good came from it. But I understand what it's like to have my emotions get the best of me. I want you to do me a favor - I want you to remember what your life was like beforehand, what you used to do for fun without him. I bet if you try to remember, you will. I only learned this recently - but people come and go - only you can make yourself feel better. And if that means doing something as silly as watching Family Guy (like I'm doing right now), then you should do that as much as you can. After all, the more time you spend not thinking about someone, the less you end up thinking about that person - sounds silly, but makes a lot of sense when you think about it. I hope this helps.

i'd really love some insight... just as an update, she called later that night, much to my surprise - late too, at about 2a.m. her time - she said she had just finished studying and wanted to call and say hi. So we spoke for half an hour - it was actually nice. Then at about 8:30a.m. her time, 5:30 mine, she texted me telling me that it was her first snowfall and she was excited - so we sent each other a text or two, and i went back to bed. Then she called me the next day, to tell me she was moving upstairs to a new apartment and that she was very excited. And that was the last I heard of her. I'm not quite sure how I feel about all this, but it does make me less crazy about things, as in I'm not feeling like I need to be with her - I feel more relaxed about it - does that make sense? But I'm still not sure about how I feel since I've told her repeatedly that I don't want to be friends (that's why I don't call her, and only let her call me). I don't know - still broken, not fixed yet - but hopefully, i'll get there

I recently stumbled upon this thread, and believe it or not, have read a majority of the 175 pages for which it expands. Maybe someone here can help me with my situation. If you want to skip the story, just read the bold stuff. But reading the whole story will help out a lot. Here's as basic of a gist as I can provide: I wasn't interested in her at first, but then we started to fool around. Getting her to commit was always tough - she's younger than I am. After a lot of emotional turmoil, it finally worked. I tried as hard as I did only because I knew there was something special about her - I would never try that hard unless I felt like there was something good at the end of it all. We were together for a little over a year - she lived with me for a year. Then she left for med school on the other side of the country. We knew it was going to end. And even though I wanted to move over there to be with her (since I am from the area), she didn't want that. She wanted to focus on school. She debated whether or not she made the right choice. Me, being the idiotic good guy that I am, told her that she had to focus on school, but that if she ever decided she wanted to give it another shot, nothing would stop us. She's a unique individual - has had a number of traumatic things happened to her. As a result, I think she has this on/off switch that most people don't. Some would argue that she gets caught in the moment easily, and that she is an "out of sight, out of mind" kind of girl. But I love her. I didn't expect to, but it happened. I've seen her twice now, not knowing what to expect. For two weeks when she was first out there, she never called. We talked every day and now, it felt like she forgot all about me. We hooked up the first time I saw her, and she told me she hadn't given up on us. I wanted to see her again a month later, but she felt like it was too soon. I came out there a month and a half later for my birthday. See, we spent it together last year in that area, so I kind of wanted her to be there. That weekend, she confirmed what she had recently said to me, that she was over me. For two hours we talked about that in the hotel room that we stayed in. I made a move on her, and we started kissing each other. The next morning, I realized I left something in her bag, and surprisingly, she was ok with me coming up the next night and staying with her. That whole weekend was great - I felt like I fell for her all over again. This is where it sucks even more than it already did. I never heard from her that week - her mom was visiting. That Friday, I called her finally, and she picked up and said hi. Her mom wanted to talk to me, which I thought was weird, but she made small talk and made fun of me for something she remembered that week. Weird, I thought, but ok. She said she would call me later that night. I wanted her to do so, cause after that last weekend, I wanted to ask her if I could come out to see her again, between now and Christmas (she comes home to this area then). But she never called back. For two weeks, she never called. I'm pretty sure there's a guy she's been hooking up with too. In other words, things just did not look good for me. Well, she called late one night, but I didn't pick up. I figured if we were not talking for two weeks already, why bother talking now. Then two days later, she texts me telling me that she's in New York - that's where I'm from, and that's where we spent my bday - and said that she hoped I had a good thanksgiving. I eventually caved, texted her back, and then we spoke on the phone. She told me that she has no romantic interest in me now. It's hard for me to accept that, because I just think that's crazy. But she told me that I was always more into the relationship than she was. She said that if she were to visit, she'd like to see me, but that she does not want to stay with me. She even told me that she really wants to be friends with me, but that if I can't do that, she understands too. I'm not strong enough to make that decision. I'm just not. She said she hates that we always talk about this stuff. So we came up with a deal - that she would call more frequently and tell me about her day like I want, if in return I tried to not have us come back to the topic of us. I told her that I didn't want to give up on her, that I do want her to stay the night with me when she visits. But I told her that in addition to the plan, I would also vow to try my best not to read too much into things - so if she is brief with me, or has to go, that I would try my best not to be upset and that I'd chalk it up to the fact that it was just nice to hear from her. See, I felt bad - because this girl has put up with me for so long since the breakup that I think most people would have just said, "Screw this," and walk away. But for some odd reason, she really cares about me. And I feel like I haven't been fair to her because she has been busy, and I've spent so much time being selfish and looking at things from my perspective. I told her all this, and told her I wanted to make things better. So what do I do? I know she gave me the opportunity to do No Contact, but I'm just not at that point yet, and I know that if I were to implement that at this point, it would be with the intention of trying to get her back, which I know would end up in utter disaster. I think you should only do NC when you yourself want to do it, knowing that it's what you want. Did I blow my chance with her? What are the right steps now? I knew from the moment she sat on my couch years ago, that there was something special about this girl. I've never felt so comfortable with anyone in my life. And I want to marry her. I'm hoping someone out there can give me sound advice - Dave, if you're reading, I'd really appreciate input from you too. Thanks all.