ConfusedA

O ya and I forgot to say that we are both 29 and lived together.

I need some more advice. The truth is I am still obsessing about what went wrong. It has been 10 days since he said he really wants to move on with his life. When he broke up with me we had a big blowout. He had again planned a short 4 day vacation with his sisters/family and didn't invite me or ask me to go. Funny thing is is that last year he did the same thing and broke up with me because of that and a few other things. I don't know I mean we never had any significant vacation time together except 3 days at Christmas. When he dumped me he said that he couldn't believe that I was making such a big deal out of him spending 4 days in Montreal with his sisters. He said that it wasn't like he was going to Vegas with the boys to hang out with strippers. I don't know i just feel extremely guilty about this but feel that he should have discussed it with me and asked what I was doing during easter instead of just telling me what his plans were. Most people I talk to say it sounded odd that he always planned vacation time around when his sisters were available....as they both live out of town and are students. The thing is is that I am a student also! I know separate vacations are good but he has been on about 5 separate vacations since we were together all of them to see his family who lives out of town. We had a few short vacations with his family but for 1 of them I included myself...this was for Christmas vacation as both our families live in separate parts of BC. I don't know if I was being overly clingy or what but I just got sick of him planning his life without me and not even discussing with me what I thought/wanted ect. Was I being unreasonable? I just need to know whether or not the way I was was okay or totally out of reason. Thanks!

Superdave.......I think I pushed him away forever. Here is a little bit of my story. He broke up with me 5 months ago and ever since then I have been holding on. I would really appreciate your comments on my situation. Thanks! SO I am back from vacation. It was good (except for the following). Before I left I arranged a ride home from the airport but also asked my ex if he could pick me up and he said to contact him later in the week. So I did. He told me he couldn't pick me up. I asked him if we could have dinner on Saturday. He said he wasn't going to be able to and that we needed to talk when I got back into town. I asked him if he met someone he said no....I asked him if he was moving h said no. I mean why even tell me we need to talk because now this was the only thing I was thinking of. He said "do you really want to do this on texts"?. Then before I could say no he dropped the BOMB. He said " I really want to move on with my life". Then I acted completely desperate and told him I really wanted to give things another chance. He said " Can't you just respect what I am saying". He said he wasn't going to email me anymore. He never said take care, good luck to you NOTHING. My last email to him was "I hope you all the best, I wish things were different". Or something like that. He said that he thought that I would pick up on his lack of interest and that he wouldn't have had to say anything. I did notice this but chose to ignore it. Most of the time when we would see each other was when he contacted me anyway because it was convenient to him. I am totally heartbroken. Most of my family/friends said that he wouldn't get back together with me because he left and moved out 5 months ago. So basically I think in the end we were just sleeping together. His last email to me was "I don't want to have sex with you I want to move on with my life, this is my last email to you". Funny....we had sex the week before and he was fine with it. I really wish that we could have done this when I got back from holidays this way I could have at least seen him. I feel like the trash that he just took out. I mean why wouldn't he even say take care or anything at all to show he had some kind of feelings towards me? How does this happen? Anyway, the only good thing about this....and it is hard for me to use the word good in this situation is that I now know he is NEVER coming back. All my friends tell me he will contact me ect. but I don't know. Any insight or advice in regards to this are greatly appreciated. Thanks so much. I am devastated right now and hurt and really miss him and want to see him.

Superdave.......I think I pushed him away forever. Here is a little bit of my story. He broke up with me 5 months ago and ever since then I have been holding on. I would really appreciate your comments on my situation. Thanks! SO I am back from vacation. It was good (except for the following). Before I left I arranged a ride home from the airport but also asked my ex if he could pick me up and he said to contact him later in the week. So I did. He told me he couldn't pick me up. I asked him if we could have dinner on Saturday. He said he wasn't going to be able to and that we needed to talk when I got back into town. I asked him if he met someone he said no....I asked him if he was moving h said no. I mean why even tell me we need to talk because now this was the only thing I was thinking of. He said "do you really want to do this on texts"?. Then before I could say no he dropped the BOMB. He said " I really want to move on with my life". Then I acted completely desperate and told him I really wanted to give things another chance. He said " Can't you just respect what I am saying". He said he wasn't going to email me anymore. He never said take care, good luck to you NOTHING. My last email to him was "I hope you all the best, I wish things were different". Or something like that. He said that he thought that I would pick up on his lack of interest and that he wouldn't have had to say anything. I did notice this but chose to ignore it. Most of the time when we would see each other was when he contacted me anyway because it was convenient to him. I am totally heartbroken. Most of my family/friends said that he wouldn't get back together with me because he left and moved out 5 months ago. So basically I think in the end we were just sleeping together. His last email to me was "I don't want to have sex with you I want to move on with my life, this is my last email to you". Funny....we had sex the week before and he was fine with it. I really wish that we could have done this when I got back from holidays this way I could have at least seen him. I feel like the trash that he just took out. I mean why wouldn't he even say take care or anything at all to show he had some kind of feelings towards me? How does this happen? Anyway, the only good thing about this....and it is hard for me to use the word good in this situation is that I now know he is NEVER coming back. All my friends tell me he will contact me ect. but I don't know. Any insight or advice in regards to this are greatly appreciated. Thanks so much. I am devastated right now and hurt and really miss him and want to see him.

Well, that tells you a lot about him right there. what do you mean by this?

by the way we are both 29 years old

Thanks! I guess I really want to know if I will ever hear from him. But I know there are no answers to that question. I am also embarrassed that I acted totally desperate. I really wanted him to change his mind. Or at least acted like he cares about me but just can't be with me. He never said take care....NOTHING. Kinda like he took out the trash. Obviously I haven't heard from him since but I am still hurting and wanting him. I don't know. Now he is never going to contact me again..... This whole time he was telling me he didn't want to be in a relationship..but we kept spending time together. I thought he would change his mind. He was kinda a jerk to me just like he was in the relationship while we were spending time together. He has a very sarcastic personality and while we were together say things to me that I found were hurtful and offensive..he always used to tell me I needed to "toughen up" and to be less sensitive. I dunno..just feeling like a total looser psycho ex girlfriend right now....

Hey I posted a message below to what is currently happening with me..was supposed to be posted in response to your last mssg to me. If you could have a look that would be appreciated!

SO I am back from vacation. It was good (except for the following). Before I left I arranged a ride home from the airport but also asked my ex if he could pick me up and he said to contact him later in the week. So I did. He told me he couldn't pick me up. I asked him if we could have dinner on Saturday. He said he wasn't going to be able to and that we needed to talk when I got back into town. I asked him if he met someone he said no....I asked him if he was moving h said no. I mean why even tell me we need to talk because now this was the only thing I was thinking of. He said "do you really want to do this on texts"?. Then before I could say no he dropped the BOMB. He said " I really want to move on with my life". Then I acted completely desperate and told him I really wanted to give things another chance. He said " Can't you just respect what I am saying". He said he wasn't going to email me anymore. He never said take care, good luck to you NOTHING. My last email to him was "I hope you all the best, I wish things were different". Or something like that. He said that he thought that I would pick up on his lack of interest and that he wouldn't have had to say anything. I did notice this but chose to ignore it. Most of the time when we would see each other was when he contacted me anyway because it was convenient to him. I am totally heartbroken. Most of my family/friends said that he wouldn't get back together with me because he left and moved out 5 months ago. So basically I think in the end we were just sleeping together. His last email to me was "I don't want to have sex with you I want to move on with my life, this is my last email to you". Funny....we had sex the week before and he was fine with it. I really wish that we could have done this when I got back from holidays this way I could have at least seen him. I feel like the trash that he just took out. I mean why wouldn't he even say take care or anything at all to show he had some kind of feelings towards me? How does this happen? Anyway, the only good thing about this....and it is hard for me to use the word good in this situation is that I now know he is NEVER coming back. All my friends tell me he will contact me ect. but I don't know. Any insight or advice in regards to this are greatly appreciated. Thanks so much. I am devastated right now and hurt and really miss him and want to see him.

Ya it is tough. when I ask him about getting back together he gets mad at me. I just need to relax today........maybe go shopping. How long has it been since you and your ex broke up? Who broke up with who?

I am just having a super bad day because of his emails.....he is still responding to my emails but acts like he doesn't care. Then the second i act like I don't care he starts contacting me. It feels like a game. He knows I want to get back together..and maybe even date for starters...he doesn't even want to say we are dating. He asks me " what exactly do you man by dating". I say doing everything we are doing but with a bit of a commitment...I feel like my mind is going crazy today with thoughts of him and why he acts like he doesn't care.

I am going to see my family (mom and dad). Ya but I will still think of wanting to see him when I am back....

Hello I appreciate your post. It totally makes sense. My ex and I are still in contact and I find that when I leave him alone he contacts me to see me or see what I am up to. When I contact him on my own he is very aloof and hard to pin down to even have dinner...he always says ya maybe...if I ask him to do anything. Today was particularly hard because I am going on holidays on Friday and asked him if he wanted to have dinner tonight and he had plans...then I asked him if he wanted to do dinner tomorrow night and he said "could do..." I am going to leave him along but was really hoping he wanted to spend time with me before I left for holidays. Any suggestions as to what else I can do to get him off my mind?

I know how you feel. I was the same way...I didn't even want to shower. Honestly, for me it was time that made me feel better....a little better. I used to wake up every morning crying....it stopped because I have some contact with my ex but it seems to be only on his terms. If I hear from him and he wants to see me we do. But then I don't hear from him for 4/5 days or so sometimes longer. The way he acts makes me realize that it is most likely over. I find that if I just leave him alone all week he contacts me at some point on the weekend because he hasn't heard from me all week. Its true....if you don't do anything you can't screw anything up. There are no guarantees but if you don't contact them I guarantee they are wondering what you are up to. When I see my ex he has all these questions for me like what I have been doing ect. Just hang in there and talk to friends/family as much as possible. Try to be around family as well and not be alone. Take care and keep us updated!

Hello thanks for the reply! I am trying to think about myself and doing things for myself but I keep wondering if he will contact me? I mean he always has in the past so I am guessing he will once I return from my holidays. Any strategies at getting through this?