pumpkinmoon

I think I'm in a better place too but when I have bad says theyre really bad. It all seems such a blur atm. I don't really do anything either. I have been out drinking a few times but I can't wait to get home when I'm out. I want to be alone all the time atm.

well done Musashi, I'm only 1 day ahead of you

 

But you know how it is... when you break up with someone, you're happy to be rid of them. You're free. Anybody you meet (rebound or not) is going to be new and interesting. We all know how exciting the first few months of a new relationship are. That is what kills me more than anything. To think that my ex is potentially becoming closer and closer to somebody new as each day goes by.

Yeah but those first few months don't last forever

Indeed.

 

It just makes me feel like I was only her boyfriend because it suited her.

 

What's even worse is that I am finding it impossible to move on because I don't feel like I'll be able to trust anybody or feel confident in myself for a long time yet.

 

Which is very frustrating when my ex doesn't have a care in the world. Here I sit on here all the time trying to work everything out and my ex is no doubt having the time of her life.

 

I feel like I've wasted the last two years of my life.

Me too. I feel like when he had finally decided he had got enough of me he just got rid of me for his own selfish reasons, to make his life better when he has left mine in such a mess and I hate him for that.

I feel like I have had my time wasted too, I could have met someone I would have been really happy with in the time I wasted with him and i wouldnt be sat here all day every day feeling like crap all the time. Also hate him for that too lol

We really don't know how they are feeling or whether they're having a good time without us. It will drive us mental.

I do think though that things aren't alwways what they seem. Because we are so hurt, I think we naturally tend to make things out to be worse than they are when in reality their lives are just exactly the same as they were when they were with us.

Day 11

 

Feel down today.

 

It's a stupid reason but some of my ex girlfriend's friends are now friends with the guy that I think my ex dumped me for.

 

It makes me feel really * * * * that I can just be replaced like that. OK, I thought maybe my ex was being harsh but the fact that her friends no longer speak to me and they are making new friends with my ex girlfriend's uni friends makes me feel a bit like I'm being left behind without a care in the world.

I know how you feel, like you're being pushed out of the picture completely and it makes u think that you didn't mean anything anyway. It's crap.

so true bronte, the rough days get less and less, and thats what's keeping me going at the moment, just knowing that.

 

Also, a dawning realisation that I WILL move on, even though right now the thought of another man does nothing for me. I just sort of KNOW that there IS someone out there for me if my ex never comes back.

 

Its a new sense of hope that I am convinced has come out of total NC, and the support of reading the experiences of other posters on the forum.

 

Even in the depths of despair when iv been crying for an hour, I can come on here and find a story that lifts my spirits and changes my day.

 

for that I thank you and everyone on ENA, Hope x

I feel like this too. And I think its very true

Day 21. Not feeling too bad today but had a couple of weak moments. Im just so bugged by the fact that Im not sure I want him back, It's probably 50/50 but I'm still thinking of what I can do to get him back!!! AGRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

One month tomorrow my friends! And I can't say that it's not tempting to shoot him a little email. But you know...he doesn't deserve to hear from me. He really destroyed our relationship, as CPs often do!

 

I'M PROUD OF YOU GUYS!!! xx

CPs? Whats what?

 

I still say "Goodnight" and "I love you" to my ex before I go to sleep. I know she's not hearing me, and its still important to me.

This nearly made me cry

I see what you mean. I'm def going for 30 days though, and I'll see what happens then

Its day 20 for me, almost day 21. Felt ok today. Even had fun in work messing around with the other workers (not in that way Anyway, popped to my friends house tonight and I feel a little worse now. It's supposed to take my mind off things but I can never wait to get home.

ok. I am going to do this in the real spirit of superdave's challenge. that is focusing on myself and doing this so that I get better.

 

I can't promise 30 days so I'm not going to try. What I can do is say I'll hold out until wednesday regardless of if she contacts me, which is where I havent been able to. So no contact till Wed for me. 6 days. that would be the longest we've gone for over a year.

Are you sure 6 days will be long enough? I really don't think so

It will be 3 weeks for me on Sunday! Shoefairy...send me some manolo blahniks, I'm going out!!!

I've had a look at those shoes, they're horrid considering carrie wears them Will be three weeks for me saturday

Evening of day 19, just got home from work. Was hard in work so now I am home and crying again and have been sick. I think a trip to the doctors is in order I think this has been the worst day ever so far!

It's day 19, thought it was day 20 until I checked my calendar. I think today is one of those bad days and I'm feeling a bit of a wreck. Had an appointment with a careers advisor and nearly and had to chocke back the tears, was awful. Glad to be back at home now.

Everything is just reminding me of him and I can't hack it.

Was thinking about emailing him and explaining everything although it prob wouldn't do any good.

Mustang,

Your post has helped me too

Day 2

 

 

Am I welcome here once more? Does this sound like the place for me in light of my present circumstances? (Or would that be in the shadow of my present circumstances). I certainly hope so. It certainly saved my life last year.

 

-Rosie

Hi Rosie,

Of course you are welcome here My situations sounds a bit like yours in that I spent most weekends at his house and because he had a lot to do, like the gym and hockey all the time I felt like I was missing out. At first we would do lots on weekends but then it got to the stage where we would do very little. He was always tired and when It was a nice day and I thought we could do something nice he wouldn't be there and I felt I was just sat around wasting my time waiting for him and missing out on doing things myself.

Today is really bad for me. I didn't sleep last night. I am coming under the realization or possibility that she will move in with the new guy by the end of the summer. I need to continue the NC and heal. I don't think it will last but she may force things just so she won't be alone.

Sorry you are feeling bad. My good mood is fading slightly too. If she does move in with him there is absolutely nothing you can do. Call me crazy but it may even be a good thing and with it being a new relationship it will certainly put a strain on things and the cracks will appear much sooner. If she does force things with him because she doesn't want to be alone it is doomed to fail because the relationship isn't based on anything good x

Also I want to add, I had a crap day yesterday, and today it is much better, so if any of you are having a particularly hard day, tomorrow will be much better

Day 18. Feeling ok this afternoon. Hope it lasts.

Mankow,

I feel like that about the future but you will be happy some day and there is stuff to look forward to that you don't even know exists yet

Thank you

Next few days will be rough though.

I can imagine, really I can. I nursed my grandmother for 9 months through cancer while my mother went to work and I missed a lot of school through it because a lot of our family members couldn't handle it, I was 14 at the time and I was really to young to have had to do or see what I did, but I'm glad that I was there for her. I know I have said this before but try to spend this time in a positive way with your mother and put your ex on hold, your mother is so much more important than her right now, and if you do decide one day that you are over your ex and realise that you wouldn't want her back like many people on here to, you may regret wasting your time on her at this time in your life. My thoughts will be with you. x

Its the early hours of day 18 and I'm feeling pretty ok, been reading lots of posts all night and they have helped a lot.

Day 17

Feeling good

Been communicating with another woman online so there's hope .

Going to be with my Mom for the next few days see yas Sunday.

Hope you are feeling ok with everything that is going on x

Day 1 starts in the morning for me.

Is there any particular reason for you starting tomorrow? Has anything happened? Or you just made the decision?

Ya know if someone treats me bad I usually can put up a wall and walk away without a scratch but this one cut deep. I thought she would be around a while, like a long while but she left. I keep reminding myself that the next girl will be even better. My current ex won't hold a candle to her (when I meet her).

I hope so. I kinda hope that it's like that for me though but I really don't want anyone else and not sure I ever will even if he is better ](*,)

Not going to lie some days I'm crushed especially because I know she is back with her ex. And I have to see him everyday at work. I hold my head high even though it hurts me.

You seem so stong, you should be proud of yourself. he seems like a willyhead anyway!