pumpkinmoon

did he expect you to kill urself or something?

ARSEHOlE!!! can understand why you havent bothered contacting him. How formal does he want to be?

do you think you will ever contact him again litgirl?

woo hoo good on you and well done

Mustang,

Well if you wait long enough her reaction probably wont matter to you as much

Well I had to text my ex today (see my other thread), I did not have a choice under the circumstances. It was a factual, to the point message. I do not expect a reply, despite all the crap he told me about remaining good friends and in touch etc. I would not respond back even if he did, as I feel very hurt by him at the moment, and I find for the first time in the year I've known him, I have no real desire to talk to him,as I fear his responses now, as they are so hurtful and mean, despite his protestations otherwise. However, I'm continuing on and counting this as my 5th day NC. Is that ok to do?

 

What is the thread called about the text?

LOL i see!!! well thats something then if she wanted the separation anyway Very few of my friends are single, well actually none come to think of it which makes things even harder. I need some single friends On a lighter note though I wouldnt want any of the relationships they have with their partners so maybe I am the one who is better off after all

Well! I’m almost there!

My friend said today that he was thinking about dumping his girlfriend of three years because he wants to be free during the summer.

 

Well done for keeping it up but why the smiley face when you mentioned your mate dumping his gf? Thats awful

I agree. I am not there yet. Plus I think knowing she "probably" has a boyfriend puts me off because I'll just be this ex that she thought she was rid of contacting her again. No matter what state of mind I am actually in, I will look clingy again.

 

I don't want to look like this clingy ex and that's why I walked away. But I guess I just know deep down that no matter what becomes of the rest of my life, I will always be a clingy and needy ex in her eyes. Which is frustrating.

I know, but it may not be the case, especially if when you contact her she can see that you have moved on. But when you do get to that stage you will either not contact her or you may wish to just to see how she is doing and maybe you wont even care what she thinks

I called her last week. Didn't leave a voicemail. She didn't respond back. My bday will be a bit over 2 months since our BU. I just hope I didn't let too much time pass by, by then I get so many mixed opinons. Many people say I should contact her, let her know I care (esp with all she is going through) On the other hand, I feel like I will push her away if I contact her again (it seems like it should be up to her to initiate based on the circumstances)

I'm not sure there is such a thing as too much time. Time heals all, that's what they say isn't it. I think that if its meant to be it will be, you're probably sick of reading this statement, I know I was but I really think it is true and whatever way it goes you will be fine. In time, you will stop worrying so much, I know I have. I think we get to the point eventually when we get fed up of feeling like we do and then the healing really begins then

I think NC makes us feel worse because we know we are not ALLOWED to contact them and this makes us want to all the more. There is also a hypnotherapy one called positive thinking by our friend paul lol I'm gonna get that one next i think.

I suppose I am scared to ever contact her again in case she just speaks to me like she did before. I mean, she may not miss me at all and then if I pop back into her life again... I'll be a burden that she thought she was rid of. With that in mind, I have decided to wait for her to contact me. Even though she agreed to give me space and time. I just think that any form of contact from me will make me look weak. And as I have said, I can't see why she would ever feel so strongly to break NC when I told her how I felt.

You need to wait until having contact with her no longer bothers you. Then you can contact her to see how things are. But until then don't bother. I know how hurt you have been and you can do without it.

I on the other hand didn't wait. But to tell you the truth, I think having contact helped me. I still care obviously just not as much. I think in some way it cleared a lot of my feelings up, not sure which ones or how though lol

How long should I keep up NC for? It has been 24 days of NC for me. (She initiated the breakup) My birthday is coming up in 3 weeks. Should I wait until after my bday to see if she initiates contact at all?

I dont think you can or should put a time limit on it. If and when you decide to contact her then you will feel ok about it and know when you are ready. A month really isn't very long. You could wait to see if she contacts you on your birthday, maybe you will feel ready, and you will already have contacted her by then and maybe you wont. Just give it time. I know it's hard but time really does help.

I have a feeling I'll be going NC again IF and WHEN my things are returned!!!!!!!!!!

well its day 30!!!! I did have contact yesterday though so can I have a little bit of congratunlations as i was only 1 day out? lol

what do you mean he doesnt want NC but he doesnt want to hang out at all?

It is hard, but some days will be easier than others. The further you get into NC the less likely u will break it i think. I wanted to so many times but this challenge kind of acted like a spell over me.

oh you meanie

Maybe NC isnt the best for you then? I don't know. I'm confused today. But maybe do LC, not much, and dont pressure him at all xx

Shoeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....don't be hard on yourself!!! You are just human after all!!!

(((hugs))) Maybe if you sleep at some point?? Kidding!! LOL

lol, i'm getting by quite well on about 4 hours a night/day atm

I hate the weekends!!!!! I would just like a working week to merge into another at the moment. It has been a hard weekend for me too. And I'm alo ashamed and upset that I never reached 30 days

I am five weeks no contact today, and I have to say its probably my WORST weekend yet.

 

He has had someone staying over at his. Not sure if its the first girl he was with or if he's got a new one now (someone told me he might have a new girl) and it doesnt make me feel great I gotta say.

 

right now im blanking it out of my head la la la la, coz if I really think about it I think I will crack up big time

 

This must be awful I can't imagine how I would feel but for all I know he could have someone new. But if he does, there is absolutely nothing I can do about it and thats what we have to remember. Thats why I stopped using facebook incase I saw something because I know if I did, it would just hurt me and what could I do about it? Nothing.

Day 29,

Woke up crying again this morning although I can't remember the dream. Getting nervous now that my 30 days are nearly up. I hope I have the self control to act rational, I know I couldn't contact as I was in the NC challenge, it was like a brick wall stoping me but when that wall is gone (tomorrow) I hope I'll be ok lol

Ah, well I dont think it is breaking NC on your part. If you feel comfortable then I would let her make the contact

My mum wants to get in touch with his. She's having surgery. My name would be mentioned. So far, she is obeying my wishes to leave it be.

Is your mother friends with his mother?

If I get in touch with his mother..... is that breaking NC?

Why do you need to get in touch with his mother?