meiyah

it just blew up in our faces. i'm very sad right now. i don't understand. i guess if i back track and try to figure out exactly how we went from discussing our problems to breaking up. well, i remember talking to my bf over the phone and then...it was the same monotone voice in a condescending tone. it just hurt me inside thinking that i kept taking this from my bf. i asked what was wrong...and he answered back annoyed and irritated...and said...nothing is wrong...we're fine. i answered back saying...well, it obviously sounds like something's wrong and i wish you'd just tell me. he said...i'm just dealing with stuff right now and i don't want to involve you because i already know you have enough stress dealing with your own problems. then, i said...well, you always told me that when we're having problems...to talk about them. i just wish that you'd let me in somehow. it just seems like lately...we're just not happy in this relationship. then, he said...i'm happy with you...maybe you're just not happy with me. then, i said...maybe you're right. maybe i'm not happy. i keep pouring myself into this relationship and you don't meet me halfway. you leave me hanging and you care more about what your needs are than my own. you've been selfish and make so many demands on me on my time and energy...that i'm left asking myself...well, what about my own needs? in the last 15 months, i have done nothing but be supportive of my bf through his ups and downs, when he was unemployed, i took care of him...i paid his bills and everything else he needed, i helped him find another job...but i feel like it's hopeless...and i felt while i was arguing with him...that maybe it was time to walk away. i'm tired...i have no more energy left...we can't meet halfway...the ratio in our relationship isn't 50/50...on a good day...it's maybe 70/30...on a bad day...it can be as low as 90/10. how it ended was with me being angry and saying...i can't deal with this sh*t anymore. i said it out of anger and frustration...but he on the other hand claims that with me saying that and everything else that had to do with him not doing enough in this relationship only solidies my reasons for leaving him. i told him everything that bothered me because i thought it would help him see...i didn't want to leave the relationship...i just hope that he'd realize everything that i've done for him....it was just i couldn't stand doing everything i was doing while he could treat and talk to me however he wanted. if i could sum up the relationship...it would go something like this...my bf(or i guess u could say x-bf) is the kind of guy who'd like things to go his way...he wants whatever he wants whenever he wants however he wants...it's either his way or no way...he hates to spend money...if i could pay...he would NEVER offer...i basically was the nice girl he took advantage of or just took for granted...it's just a shame you never see these things in the beginning...because people usually tend to be on their best behavior in the first couple of months...but i guess true colors do shine through...and you see the real person and their flaws...but by then...you'd already fallen in love and getting out is so much harder...i guess that's about it in a nutshell...but a person can only take so much of it...if we couldn't talk now and meet halfway...then it's only an indication that we have serious communication problems...and that my x-bf really needs to grow up and hopefully by me walking away will realize just how much of a supportive gf i was to him... unloading this has helped me a lot...i realized that i'm not the one with the problem...i know i did the right thing...i just hope that i can be strong...i know this isn't the end of my x-bf...it's only been a day since we supposedly broke up...but i know this isn't my loss but his...i know i'm a good woman...and somebody else will see and realize it...

thank you all for your responses. it definitely has given me a little more perspective. i saw my bf yesterday. moodwise, he seemed okay. he knew i was tired and that i didn't have much money to either cook or buy dinner...so he bought dinner and we stayed in and watched tv. we seemed to be okay...but again...we didn't really say much to each other. i have a feeling that he's been thinking a lot about his current living and work situation...and i remember our conversations from before with him being uncertain about his future. so...i guess maybe those things have been clouding his mind. i just wish he'd say something to me. as for activities outside the relationship...i workout regularly (5am in the morning before work), i spend time with my friends and family when i can...and soon i'll be taking a dance class and going back to school in august. as for bf, his outside activities are just fishing, work and maybe hanging out with his cousins and friends every once in awhile. he doesn't really like the things i like to do and so i can't ask him to join me. i was hoping maybe that he'd join the gym to maybe workout with me...but he shows no interest in that either. i love going to the movies...but he hates going to the movies. he prefers that we rent movies and stay in. i guess i'll just sit tight and wait until he's ready to talk. sometimes that's all he needs...is time to think...and then usually he'll open up... the weekend is coming...and i'm hoping that he'll somehow feel better... thanks to all for listening (reading, really) and offering advice...and take care

i've been with my boyfriend for about 15 months. in the past week, i've noticed that we both have become distant. just a couple of days ago, he had asked me if wasn't happy with him. i said i was happy with him but since then, we both have sort of kept a distance. we see each other almost everyday. though, we don't live together, i practically sleep at his place every night. our sex life has gone from 3 times a week to once a week and lately i haven't really been in the mood...as if i were just losing more interest as each day passes. whenever we talk on the phone, we don't say much and when we are together...we don't really talk. often i'd try and initiate a conversation but most of the time it seems like he doesn't even want to talk to me. though, we don't talk much...he wants me to stick around and stay with him. are we both maybe falling out of love? i know that he isn't cheating on me. however, i feel like maybe my bf could be going through depression. i know he doesn't like where he lives (with his dad and his girlfriend and some other extended family) and work. he was unemployed for over 4 months and just started working again. he doesn't like where he works right now but he's doing it for the paycheck. i could think of so many things on what might be happening with him and yet when i ask him...all he says is that he's been tired and that there is nothing wrong with us (the relationship). sometimes, i find myself confused, sad and frustrated because of the strain and wanting us to be happy but i can't. i have talked about my feelings with him and all i get is him looking at me with a blank faced and showing no emotion...and when i cry...he gets worse. he doesn't say anything and isn't comforting. i don't know what it is that's bothering him and what i should do. i, on the other hand, am left here thinking is he really okay? are we okay? because we sure don't look like a happy couple right now. i know that couples have their ups and downs...and this could be one of them. it isn't like my bf and i have had other problems before...but i feel like something's missing. i'm hoping that this is a passing phase...or maybe him trying to sort out his problems and wanting some space. all i know is that him not talking about it is causing a strain. i wholeheartedly care for my bf and i do anything and everything to try and make him happy. although, at times...i'm wondering how long i can take being his emotional punching bag because i know there is a major difference between being supportive of your partner vs. being your partner's scapegoat.