For 5 years I lived with my girlfriend but during those five years she cheated on me..it was the most devastating thing in my life to date. You see I knew she was cheating my friends kept telling me but my heart refused to believe it. I mean how could she cheat on me! I was a great girlfriend. I supported all her endeavours. I was there for her when she needed me. Her family loved me and the sex was great to say the least! But..she cheated anyway. I can't begin to talk about the hurt I felt and still feel. Even though i am opposed to cheating i tried to work things out with her but all i could think about is her with that other person...and it hurts so bad even as I write this I still feel those pangs of pain in my stomach and we've been broken up for 2 years!
Here's the thing I've read a lot of the posts and i do believe in moving on but i did nothing wrong I've asked her on countless occasions what i did to deserve it and you know what she says..nothing..i just did it to you before you did it to me...that's her excuse! For all the pain she caused! She did it to me before I did it to her! And the sick thing is i never would've! I stood by her loved her took care of her cherised her and look what i got! So you know what I did I cheated on her! Yes..you are right two wrongs don't make a right but I did it anyay it caused her and i a lot of pain and the break up that eventually came was horrible and nasty but I got my revenge. She says she's still in love with me..at least that's what she says and even though we've been apart for such a long time I still have feelings for her..I'm still in love with her why? She violated my trust she made me feel lower than dirt and yet I would still do anything for her i still feel horrible if she hurts and here's the thing I don't want her to ever be happy. I don't want her to ever fall in love and love anybody as much as I know she loved me. I don't ever! I'm serious why should she be happy when she's caused me so much pain? At the moment we don't communicate as often as we used too and i have a feeling she's seeing somebody..and it kills me. I want to get over her I do but I don't want her to happy..why the conflict..why can't i just move on and forget about this person who destroyed my trust and abused my love for no apparent reason?
