ben14826

I am a Gemini, hers is whatever February 4th is. Why?

What kind of a relationship counselor? Where would I go about finding one?

I often feel as if she's ALWAYS trying to be the boss and that she thinks she can always have the last word and the final decision, and I often take great offense to this and hence the reason for small things becoming fights. I don't know how to remedy this.

Thanx for the replies everyone, I appreciate it. Part of the problem is that neither of us can just give up our pride. If I give in just to prevent an argument I feel like I have lost, and as a "man" I shouldn't be such a pansy and I should hold my ground. She is the same way in that if we disagree and she just gives in she feels like she has "lost" and doesn't like it. We both agree that we need to learn how to meet half way, but so far have no idea how to do it.

The fighting is always derived out of control issues. Both her and I struggle with that. I do want to fix it, I just don't know how.

Dako: No I don't have an anger problem.

I never said that we have a mature relationship. I said that we are both mature individuals. I know that our relationship is very immature and needs a lot of work, thats why I'm here seeking help.

I didn't swear at her mother. I swore while she was on the phone. The situation ws that I wanted to take her to a bed and breakfast but they weren't to thrilled with the idea and I finally got angry enough and kind of lost my cool. What do we fight about? Practically anything. Never seems like there was a good reason behind it it is just small stuff all the time erupting into a fight and argument. I told her to leave last night in anger and she has ignored my phone calls all day. It seems like such childish nonsense sometimes, but it's not solely either one of us that is to blame. We go through these things all the time though. The last time this happened I guess I promised her I wouldn't do it again, and in my anger last night I had completely forgotten and did it anyways. Now I feel as if she doesn't trust my promises, and is questioning my true sincerity.

Hi everyone, I'm finally making my first post after many hours spent at the site. I kept putting this off because I didn't want to have to do this, but it's time. Basically I really need some help in making some crucial decisions, and secondly just need someone to talk to. I am 20 years old and have had a very "normal" childhood and relationship history. My Girlfriend and I have been together for over three years. Right from the beginning we have had our share of good and bad times like any other couple, but a lot of the time I have spent struggling to figure out whether she is the one or not. We fight nonstop, and have for the majority of the relationship. We do certianly love eachother without a doubt, but we seem to have a problem with always trying to be the "leader". Sometimes it seems like we fight just to fight, and it has certainly taken its toll on our relationship. I can't even count the number of times where I have told her that we're breaking up just to get even with her for something like hanging up on me or something of that nature. We are both what I would call pretty mature for our ages, but our relationship at times seems like a high school saga. I guess to cut to the point here, I really need to decide how to either fix our relationship or to get it over with. Neither of us really want to break up, but things just can't go on like this forever. I actually purchased a ring a couple months ago and was going to ask her on February fourth, buit while planning the evening I got in a fight with her mother on the phone and started swearing out of frustration. Anyways when I went over after a couple days to talk about it with them, her dad chimed in and basically kicked me out of their house. My girlfriend became distraught and hysterical and of course they blamed it on me and made me seem like I was evil for "causing" their daughter heartache. Since then things have been rough because I don't feel the same about her family anymore and she knows it. They say they have forgiven me and moved on, but its not the same now. I get so confused because one day I am planning on how I am going to pop the question and the next day I'm telling her that I can't stand her and that she needs to leave my house and leave me alone. Please don't write this off as some kid who needs to get a life, because that's not it. We are both responsible, intelligent individuals and our relationship is and always has been a very serious and meaningful one. I'm just torn between finding a way to make it better or cutting my losses and trying to find someone else. I'll stop here for now and see what kind of responses I get and go from there. I llok forward to being an active member here, and I so appreciate all of the people here who are willing to listen and respond to thers posts. I certainly feel like I have much more to say, and that I feel I've only scratched the surface with this post, but I feel great that I finally started getting some of it out in words. Sorry for the rambling and repeating as well.