mrpozitive

Thank you faeriechyld for your reply. It was helpful. My wife is a great mom. She does a great job at nuturing the children. I know that her mom was a stay-at-home mom too, so I'm sure she benefited and was able to pass it to our children. Although we do our best not to argue in front of the children, it happens at times. I know that it's not good for them to see us fight and after all is said and done we apologize to the children. You are right when you said that I'm staying for the children. I am and I'm terrified of the effect it will have on them. My parents divorced, however I was older when it happened. I think my dad stayed for me and my brothers. I think my wife knows that things are getting to the ending point, and I've noticed that she is putting more effort into trying to hold on to the relationship. I've just fallen out of love with her and to be honest, I'm not sure if I want to work things out. She is a good person, and we get along for the most part. I just think we've grown apart and probably got married prematurely.

I think the post from Dazzed and Confused "Leaving my wife...." touches on some issues that I'm going through. I'm glad that I found this forum and hopefully I can get some feed back that will help. I'm unhappily married with 2 children (ages 4 and 2). My wife and I got married shortly after our first child was born. To be honest, I think we got married because it was "the right thing to do". We were dating when my wife got pregnant. We had talked about marriage prior to the pregnancy, but nothing planned. I feel that we loved each other when we got married, but over the short number of years we've been together, I think the love has dissolved. The topic of separation has come up several times between my wife and I. She would bring it up the majority of the times, generally after a heated argument. I tend to be a positive person, but throughout our marriage my wife has made several negative statements/comments about the future of our relationships. In a nutshell, the statements/comments that she made suggested that we would not be together in the future. For the most part, I would ignore these statements, but over the years they have made me feel like the relationship wasn't going to last. We've gone to marriage counseling (for at least 2.5 months), and the counselor gave great advice to help us salvage the relationship. However, neither of us did the assignments or continued to follow through on advice. To make things even more complicated, I've started having an affair with a woman and I think I'm falling in love with her. I'm so happy when I'm with her and when I speak with her. She knows my situation and wants to step back so I can make the right decision, based on my own feelings. She doesn't want to cloud my decision. My primary concern is for the kids. I love them and I'm afraid of what it would be like not to see them everyday and hear the calls of "Daddy ...Daddy!" as I walk in the door. I think I would be okay financially, although the state of MD is tough on guys when it comes to separation and divorce. My wife is a stay-at-home mom and she is a student in Grad school, so I'm almost sure that she would get alimony. I don't want to come accross as being selfish, but I also need to be happy too. Can anyone give any advice?