dividedmind

I saw something like that, and Aquarius + Libra (My friend) are a perfect match >. Along with the manic depression, I have major social anxieties. I just can't function near new people. If I was able to get a job, it would have to be with someone I already knew. And I don't make friends so easy. I have gone to group therapy in regards to socialising, and they didn't go well. I am prone to bouts of paranoia when it comes to people, and that causes problems > As me and the bf have talked about the situation, I shouldn't think he sees it as me messing up his life. He understands that I don't like his drinking, and is willing to let me be myself for a little while. I am not ready to be middle aged at 19... That just irritates me. If she didn't want to come off as a threat she should have just said so.

It doesn't quite work like that in the UK sadly. The Mental Health service here is great if you are 18 or under. Once you turn 19, they just don't give one about you. Also, if you exhibit signs of more than one illness, they have difficulty with it. They only seem to be able to help people who have already snapped and gone on some sort of killing spree, or stolen a milk cart ¬_¬ I tend to hide from folk that look like my family, she was rude and condescending and not a very good counselor in my opinion. I hate yes people. She just agreed to everything I said...

I have spoken to my boyfriend. He has suggested I get to know my friend better and be sure of what I want. He says he understand that I have come to love him more like a father than a boyfriend. He is letting me stay here...... I don't think it is selfish to not want to die on the streets. I never said I did not love him, nor am I ungrateful for being here. I think the main problem was a communication barrier. I don't think I will forget about my friend, whether or not he is in Japan. I refuse to spend my life wondering about what if I had done things differently. What a waste of life. I shall reiterate what I have already said. I am TWO people. TWO. One HAS to have the stability. If that side of me is unstable I become VERY unwell. The other side is bored with stability. Even though without it the other side will take over and become dominant.

I'm Aquarius with rising sign of Aquarius. My boyfriend is Cancer with rising sign of Aries. I was being treated as a manic-depressive for a period of time but the medication made me worse. I was unable to gauge my emotions and had many breakdowns. I have tried to see a psychiatrist here but because I am in control of how people see me, they only saw what I wanted them to see. I was interviewed by two women, one was lovely and saw straight through me. The other reminded me of a cousin who doesn't think mental illness exists and so I locked up. I am as stable as I am ever going to be when I have routine. Doing the same thing every day helps to keep me grounded, although the other conflicting side of me gets terribly bored and annoyed at there being nothing to do. My boyfriend gives me that routine. I do in that respect. Sex is something I do not give out freely to just anyone. Even if I have feelings for someone, I need to trust them very deeply before I will have sex with them.

I don't like to have sex when first hooking up with someone. Why would they come back to you if you already gave them everything? My boyfriend treats me like a daughter almost. He is constantly telling me I am doing stuff wrong, I have tried to help with housework only to have it flung back in my face when it isn't done in the way he thinks it should be. He is an alcoholic. He drinks WAY too much. When he does drink he lacks tact and can be very hurtful and has on occasion smashed things up. I am scared of his violence.

I am in a serious relationship with a guy who is 36. He is an Cancer/Dragon and I am an Aquarius/Fire Rabbit. He keeps me stable, he owns his own home, has a well paid job, and treats me like a princess..... I am in love with one of my best friends. He is a Libra/Boar and he is passionate, he makes me feel like I am floating on air. We have liked each other since we first met, but I had just started my relationship with my boyfriend then. We made out on our friends sofa on New Years Eve, way into New Years Day. It was the most sensual and sexual experience of my life. I have never wanted to be with someone so much. I can't stop thinking about him. Everything points to us being soulmates....but he is going to live in Japan in October. I love my boyfriend very much, I really do but I am not happy in the relationship. I have tried to make it work but cannot leave due to the fact I will not have a home. I am unable to work due to mental health problems. I am stuck. I can't pursue my friend because of my boyfriend, but even if i could, he would be in Japan in October...I could always save up...but even then....¬_¬ I just don't know what to do. I don't feel guilty for loving my friend, I don't see why I should be guilty for loving someone. I just don't want to hurt my boyfriend or end up homeless and in a worse mental state.....