Lboogie23

my ultimate fear is that i do leave and he only gets worse by drinking more and feeling abandoned, and i loose him for good. I don't know if leaving is such a great idea. We kinda have a history of something like this, before when i was pregnet, he got fired and couldn't find work for 3 months, we had no food and it was pretty hard, so i went to stay with my mom in florida for a little while and it nearly broke us up bc he felt like i abandoned him and didn't "stick by his side" when times were tough. So i wouldn't want to go through that again.

i don't really know what to do, hes a good father and i really don't want to leave him. even when we are intimate, hes always been drinking so it makes me feel like its really not that special for him, when we have sex. Imean who ever really remembers sex when your drunk?

I have been wanting to talk to someone about this for so long now, but i never knew who i could confide in. none of my family members know, they all love my him, and wouldn't expect it. We have two children together, we have been with each other for three and a half years. Before me he was married to a women for 9 years and he says she always used to yell at him and lecture him for drinking too much. he said she used to call him all kinds of names and pretty much verbally abuse him. But from all hes told me, it was a pretty unstable marriage to begin with.

Anyway, because of this, i feel like i really can't confront him about it. Hes got such a complex about it anyways, and i feel like if i did confront him, he would only try to hide it even more.

Its to the point where every night when he comes home from work, hes gotta have half a bottle of brany and two 20 oz bottles of beer(at least) Hes spending around 60 dollars a week on alcohol. We really don't have that kind of money, especially with two babies.

I love him so much, but i am really scared for him. And i know no matter what he says, he knows he has a problem bc he tries to hide it from me, like if i;m in the bathroon he'll practicall run to the cabinet where he keeps his brandy and suck some down before i get out, or just whenever he thinks i won't catch him he does this. I just have no clue what to do. I want him to be around for our children, i mean hes not a big man at all. Hes probably 140 lbs soaking wet wearing working boots. What should i do?

for my bf it really depends on how long its been sinse we have had sex. But there are many occasions where it dosn't last all that long. BUT, hes also very capable of going the long haul.

I used to get that all the time and it turned out i had a condition called endometriosis. I don't want to scare you or anything, but it can be serious and lead to infertility, so i would consult your doctor just to rule it out.

well thank you, but i was just wondering bc my fiance said he wouldn't approve of me being a stripper, yet he thinks its harmless to frequent strip clubs. Isn't it really all the same when it comes down to it?

thank you all for your responses. I'm really not sure what to do yet, although i have stopped going along with this fantasy in bed, and although he has toned it down a little sinse, he still brings it up, just not so persistently. If i do, there will be a lot of rules. But at this point, i'm still thinking, no.

I was wondering what other people thought, male/female...

If you are a married man or women, is it okay to go to strip clubs?

and, would anyone ever marry a stripper? Would you allow your spouse to start stripping after you were already married. Would you let them if you yourself liked to frequent strip clubs?

I want to know what you think!!!

I always used to get nervous when my children stopped moving. It is a little early to feel regular movements at certain tilmes or for baby to develope a wake/sleeping pattern. But if your worried don't wait too long before calling or seeing your doctor. Its better to be safe than sorry, and when it comes down to it, isn't it worth it?

I worked in the maternity ward for years and there would be very sad cases of women who stopped feeling their baby's move but not want to seem paranoid or just took someones advice to not be seen and ended up giving birth to a still born.

I'm not saying this to scare you, just be careful and like i said, better to be safe than sorry! Good luck to you and your baby! do you know what your having yet? Do you want to know or prefer a surprise?

He may have already thought up this lie, just in case. when people are lying the story is usually elaborate. what does your mom think about all this?

I totally agree with helen67. You can't think of it as just a bj. It really is an extension of him. Before i met my fiance i hated giving them. But now that i'm happy and in love with him, Its such a turn on to me and i love it!!!! good luck!

My bf and i had the best morning sex this morning. Needless to say , i agree with everyone else.... Everything seems more, i don't know , sensitive i guess. Its good stuff!

At a rest stop on the highway, we were so caught up in the moment, we didn't realize that there were other cars and people surrounding us, it was the middle of the day.

Do you think bc he only says it during sex that it is just a fantasy?

I have discussed this subject with hime before and i told him i don't think that i could ever do it, and he got so mad at me he didn't talk to me the whole next day, he said i ruined his fantasy. What is that supposed to mean? Anyways, we ended up getting in a fight and he resolved that he was happy with our relationship the way it is, and left it alone for a while , and just recently he started bringing it up during sex again, and thats when he started mentioning having sex with the other women.

Should i be worried that i'm not enough for him? He always says how attractive i am and that i'm the best he's ever had,so i guess i'm just confused why he wants something else.

I can imagine how freaked out you were when you stumbled on this secret of your gf. You said she was very health concsious and a well rounded athletic type? Maybe her fantasising about these kind of things is a way for her to release the pressure of always trying to be so perfect.

for the longest time i was angry at my bf for watching porn behind my back but i never told him that i secretly like it too. I later realized it was tht he was doing it witout me that made me upset. what i'm saying is that people can really surprise you. If your dwelling on this, you should bring it up to her in a non-confrontational way. Tell her you didn't mean to pry , you just sort of stumbled on it and find out if thats what shes really into or not. If it is you need to ask yourself if you can deal with that. Good luck!

he only asks for it when we are having sex

IT sounds like your girlfriend is the one who needs some serious mental counseling. Not just because she is abusive and aloof, but also to deal with her past "rape" experiences. It seems odd to me that she would count that as such a tramatic part of her past and then turn around and ask you to reenact that.

You are young and you have your whole life ahead of you. You can make a clean break from her, and start fresh, and maybe she could get some profesional help. Maybe this way you would both be better off.

Go with your gut instincts. If they are telling you to run away from this, you should do just that! good luck!

i am a 23 yr old bi-sexual women. For the last three years i have been involved in a serious and monogomous relationship with a man 10 yrs older than myself. We just had our second child in august of 06. This is, in my mind, the perfect man for me.

A while after we began our relationship, i confided in him that i had been in a few lesbian relationships prior to my relationship with him. He, like most men found this to be a huge turn on. He never really brought it up much until a few months ago. During sex we like to talk dirty to each other, actually its more his thing, but i enjoy it too. Anyways, he started saying things in reference to a threesome. At first it bothered me and actually turned me off during sex bc although i had been with women and am attracted to them, i have never had a threesome or wanted to. I'm kind of a one on one kinda gal. I like intamicy.

The only time he brings it up is while we are having sex. But he is sooo adamit about it. I have stsrted playing along with this in bed, it really turns him on and i am by nature an overly compensating pleaser, kinda passive type. sometimes he says he wants to have sex with the other girl,( when we're having sex) and that bothers me. So i guess my question is, should i do this for him? Or will it ruin our relationship. I really love him and i want our relationship to last. This is important to me also bc we have children together now. But even though i enjoy women, i don't know how i would handle seeing him with someone else.

I would appreciate any male or female advice, thanks!

As an outsider looking in, it seems to me that there is definitely something foul in play. I'm sure you love your husband and only want to expect the best from him. HOwever, you have to listen to your gut instincts. Listen to what they are telling you. Often times we write off our gut instincts as paranoya.

Women have a great sense of intuition. Even better than that of a man. I would listen to it if i were you. My gut feelings have never been wrong.

Find the right time to confront your husband. Be firm , but not too confrontational, he will just get defensive. Good luck!!!!!!!

I'm a women and i generally like to be dominated in bed. I like when my bf gets a little rough and demanding. Sometimes i like to blow his mind and be the aggressor.