Hi guys, first time poster here. I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 20 as well. We've been together for a little over 5 years and have been living together since last November when our daughter was born. She just turned 13 months old.
Lately, things have been really bumpy between us, and part of me just wants to leave so bad. I think the other part of me is afraid of being alone for the rest of my life (my mom and dad got into a fight shortly after I was born and she moved back home. I've never met my father, same thing with my sister's dad 3 years later. Now she doesn't have anyone). I also feel like it isn't fair to my daughter so that's another reason I stay.
Lately, we've been fighting over petty things. Wednesday, all day he kept trying to "seduce" me and leading me into thinking we were going to have sex. After I was finally able to get the baby to sleep, he fell asleep while I was doing that. I woke him up by rubbing him and he says, "I thought we'd wait till Saturday to build anticipation." Gee, I wish he would have told me that first. So I laid in bed and I was really hurt. I woke him up about 10 minutes later and explained to him that I was upset and he rolled over and started humping me... then said he shouldn't have said what he did. Then he turned the other way and went back to bed. * * * was the purpous of that?
Everytime I get upset, like right now, he lays in bed asleep. He acts like he's awake if he hears me say, "Are you even listening to me?" I CAN'T STAND IT. I lay in bed and cry and he lays next to me while he tries to talk things out... the thing is, when he does that he can't stay awake. I keep telling him this but he won't make an effort to stay awake and talk to me.
Right now he's laying in bed- it's 9 AM, and he's asleep. I'm upset because last night the baby was awake and he was sleeping. I tried for almost an hour and couldn't get her to bed while he slept. I woke him up and asked if he could try, but he tried for two minutes and gave her back to me. This morning he woke her up around 8 by kneeing her and I got angry because I didn't get much sleep. I know I shouldn't have gotten so mad and snappy towards him, but I would have liked him to take her, instead he rolled over and fell asleep again. I woke him and explained that I was really tired and I had a long night, but he didn't even sit up to listen to me and instead stayed in his half asleep coma.
Now I'm here, writing this and he's asleep. A few minutes ago he was up asking me what was wrong and I explained. I've been crying my eyes out but all he does is lay in bed. It's like he doesn't care that I'm upset. He doesn't even try to comfort me. This is just a small peek of what goes on between us. It seems like every other night we fight and I can't stand it. I want out so bad, but I'm afraid to leave. I don't have the balls to, no matter how hard I try. Every fight turns into me telling him I want to leave, him sleeping, me waking him up because I want to talk things out since I'm hurt. He ends up feeding me bull about how he'll change, he'll try harder to help me out, he won't go to sleep right away (he comes home and plays video games till he's ready for bed and spends little time with me). I believe it and end up getting hurt a few nights later. Repeat cycle... it's the same thing everytime and everytime I go back to him. I feel so stupid, I know I'm stupid. I just don't know how to leave for good, KWIM?
