iris28

Hi, Well first of all. In response to "luck of the irish". I am NOT worried about diseases. Sorry, but why do some people have to make these comments, my post is not about any fear of diseases, it is about my fear of my boyfriends confusion. I DIDN'T think it was necessary to clarify the diseases thing in my first post, because I do have very strong feeling of trust with my boyfriend about what he tells me about his sexual experiences, and this is not because I just blindly believe his word, but because we have talked about these things extensively and in detail. He never had anal sex with a man and that is the truth. Moreover, we use condoms, I am not stupid. Anyway, I agree very much with "all about us" and "itsallgrand". I think he is young and needs time to understand himself better (My boyfriend absolutely HATES I refer to his age, as I am quite a bit older, he feels I don't take him seriously). The problem is again, do "I" have time to wait for him to know what he wants? Maybe I'm too much of a realist and not romantic enough, but am I denying myself of a chance to meet someone who I can have a family with? I would like to have children with a special someone in the future but I am already 32. Then again, I might never meet that person, and maybe I will regret not giving my current boyfriend a chance to be that person in the future. Also I agree what "itsallgrand" says, he is a confused person generally, not just about his sexuality. I also wonder about s.t. what Survictor says, is a gay person able to have passionate sex with a woman? It's obvious that my boyfriend enjoys our sexlife very much. This makes it all the more confusing.

Dear all, I've been reading a lot of the posts here but there is so much info that I really don't know what to think of bisexuality. I am hetero and I met my boyfriend 1/2 year ago, he immediately told me he was bisexual. Bisexuality was something new for me, but I really thought it wouldn't be a problem for me. When I just knew about it, I did read some info on the internet about it because I'm quite a careful when it comes to dating. I read that many bi-sexual people fall in love because they go for the person, whether male or female. I thought this was a beautiful idea so I didn't give it anymore thought. After a few months we started to get problems. Initially about something unrelated. I am 9 years older (32 and he 23) and I had very serious doubts if there was any future for us with such an age difference. Obviously he doesn't want any children for a long time. I am just fine without for now but I would like to have children in the future and I have to consider my age. He is a very passionate person, he was very much in love with me, and he was very offended by me expressing my doubts. He felt I was not taking him seriously as a boyfriend, and that I saw him as a 'fling'. Nevertheless we couldn't let go of eachother, but we both knew after this conversation that our relationship was likely to be doomed. Because of this we became less inhibited to talk freely about our thoughts with respect to other relationships. Initially I thought he identified himself as a bisexual man quite confidently, but then I found out that he actually feels quite "confused". He told me that after being with his ex-girlfriend for 3 years, he broke up with her because he wanted a man. But when he is with a man for a longer time, he wants a woman. He experimented with men for a while, and then had a boyfriend for 2 months. He told me he broke up with him because he felt sexually frustrated with this boyfriend. Btw. he never had anal sex with these men - maybe that's why? He went back to his ex-girlfriend for a little while, this ended because he had to move to another city and then we met eachother. During our relationship, I think he also had urges to be with men but I know he never acted on it. Well, as you can guess it has made me feel very insecure and I'm actually a very confident person generally. When I hang out with gay friends, I always have a great time. But when I'm with my boyfriend in a place where there are gays, I feel very insecure. I cannot help it, I know I can never compete with a man. And I wonder if he might be gay without realising. I am afraid I will be one of those women who is left by their boyfriend because he has discovered he is really gay. Last time he told me he was going to write an end dissertation for his studies about bisexuality. In the end he is going to do it about homosexual behaviour among certain animals. Immediately, I think..o god...maybe he is not bi but gay and so on.. it's stupid, I see he is very passionate about me, we have great sex, but I feel insecure with all these things.. is it in my head?