Dingleburt Humperdink

Hi Sarah As we've seen in this thread there are two schools of thought; get used to it or don't stand for it. I've been told I either need to find someone who is more open to that kind of thing OR I need to stop looking at it, entirely! Personally, I love my GF so option (ii) is the one for me - I would sooner give up looking at porn than lose her. So I guess your response falls into one of these two options - it is personal opinion which? I would suggest that you talk to him and tell him how much it hurts you and see what he says. I didn't realise until this latest episode how much it hurt my girlfriend when I looked at that stuff. Now that I know I'll make sure I never do it again. Good luck!

You're right - but as I say I haven't looked at any porn for four months now. Unless you count what is on youtube as porn, which I don't. But apparently this is still enough to upset my GF, which I didn't realise otherwise I wouldn't have done it. I think I am going round in circles and all of this is dependent on what she thinks anyway. Thanks for all your help and advice - I hope we can work it out!

I hope so too

Let's just say I have a fairly low opinion of myself right now...

Maybe she is insecure, but I don't think I have helped things and I guess I am getting what I deserve? I only hope it isn't too late for me to make it up to her and help her regain some trust in me. I feel I am generally a trustworthy person - I'd never intentionally hurt anyone, least of all my GF. In fact these incidents are the most un-trustworthy things I have ever done in my life - I am ashamed. True - but if there IS something you do that really upsets your other half you should try your very best not to do it. I have tried and failed and upset my GF more than I ever thought I could. Sorry if I'm sounding argumentative - I'm just trying to figure things out.

Thanks for your reply shikashika. I am going to stop - indeed I already have. I haven't looked at any porn since the last incident, some four months ago. This is actually one thing I don't understand - I was only looking at some fairly sedate stuff on youtube. Hence I didn't even think I was doing anything wrong! Obviously I underestimated the significance of my looking at anything remotely dubious. I suppose it serves me right for my past indiscretions.

Thank you everyone - I'll think about all you've said.

Thanks for your reply rustygirl. I see what you mean and I've never thought of it like that before. I really hope we can patch it up but maybe it is too late? But I know I'll never do this again - I can't stand seeing her so upset and I can't stand the idea of us not being together - it is killing me!

As I thought. But my girlfriend DOES have a problem with porn. And porn is something I have got very used to over the years. If she'd told me to give up something else I don't think there would have been a problem. So is there anything I can do? As I say I didn't mean to hurt her and I didn't look at anything that I thought she'd be upset about. And I love her more than anything.

Hi everyone! I've been going out with my girlfriend for 2.5 years. Before that I'd only had one serious relationship, which lasted about a year. I'm now 27. I've obviously spent alot of time single and as such I've got used to looking at porn on the internet for entertainment. We're talking about twice a week, possibly more. When I started going out with my girlfriend I stopped looking on the internet - this was VERY difficult for me but I thought it was worth it. Then one day at work (I work from home so don't worry) about a year ago I decided to have a look at some porn. I didn't DO anything other than look. But my girlfriend found out about this and all but split up with me. Since then there have been three more occasions when I have looked at porn on the internet. Each time my girlfriend has found out and tried to split up with me. Each time we've ended up staying together but with my knowing we'll split up if I do it again. Each time I have stopped looking altogether, for a while. Then I've looked again and been found out. However, after the last time I told myself I'd put a stop to it and I haven't looked at anything since - for probably four months I think? But yesterday I was looking round youtube and followed some links to hot babes and bikini babes or similar. I didn't think anything of it because youtube is sensored - there can't possibly be anything on there for my girlfriend to get upset about, or so I thought. My girlfriend found out and she has split up with me - I didn't look at porn but I DID look at girls and that is what upsets her. But we live together so she'll be home tonight and it's all a bit messy. I love her sooo much and I don't want to lose her just because I was stupid and thought that looking at girls on youtube was different to looking anywhere else. So basically my questions are: Have I completely messed it up? Will I ever get her back? Why do I find it so difficult to stop looking and what can I do to make myself stop? Am I abnormal in wanting to look or is this just something guys do? Is the real issue that I have repeatedly betrayed her trust? Is there anyway I can rectify this? Thanks in advance and hoping there is some way my girlfriend and I can work this out.