I'm a man in my late 20s; 9 months ago I split amicably from my gf of 8 years. We'd got engaged but knew the relationship had come to an end; we're still friends.
I have a couple of pretty short relationships before I met my current partner (6 months ago).
We're in love; I trust her imlicitly; and I can honestly see a long future together. She is 2 years older than me and has been split from her husband for 2 years although not yet legally. Neither of us have any children; although she told me she had tried and over-all I feel very lucky to have found such a wonderful person to spend time with.
The majority of the time everything is wonderful. So you may be asking what the problem is...
After her split from her husband she was very down and ended up having a large number of sexual encounters (a lot in secret) with a lot of her male friends. We both want a truly honest and loving relationship so we haven't hidden anything from each other.
The problem.. (yeah finally getting to it) is that the majority of these male friends are still a big part of her life and I find
myself getting jealous. The reaction is to push her away (almost a reverse psychology) which ends up hurting her and leaving me feeling very guilty when the green-eyed monster has gone away)
Examples are after a couple of months she invited the most recent sexual partner before we met round to her flat when I had to go away; i trust her that nothing happened but she acknowledged he might have stayed over as it was snowing, and that she gave him a head rub.
For her birthday party she invited her husband, said lover from above, and another ex from a few months earlier for drinks in town and then socialised with them all night. (somehow I didn't react to this one!)
She receives a monthly text that she never tells me about unless I directly ask about it from another big love affair from a year ago; she also told me the sex-toy we used together when we met was bought and used by him on her about a year ago.
A man she turned to when she was splitting up with her husband recently got in touch to do lunch; and again she argued I was unreasonable for even making an issue about it.
She argues that all these people are now just friends and I have to be more considerate; I'd agree my reactions are too strong and I wish I was more tolerable but when I find my palms getting sweaty I can't pull back.
Interestingly when I last visited my ex I took her along but they wouldn't meet. I stayed with my ex and did some gardening for about 4 hours then went to collect my gf and we stayed in a hotel for the night. She reacted very badly, accused me of wanting to get back with her and her not being good enough.
I love her a lot and really want to work all this out; she tells me shes trying to part from these people in her past but I resent that i feel like I'm forcing her to give up her friends...
Advice PLS!!!
