torn28

my ex is very much still in love with me, and she didnt tempt me into being with her. we acted friendly as much as possible but we have a real deep connection. i feel like it will always be that way with her. we didnt kiss or have sex but it was the emotional cheating that im disapointed about. I wish i could turn my feelings off for her, but i can't. i Dont want to leave my girlfriend and i dont want to tell her about my feelings for my ex because it would kill us and our relationship. i hate the thought of hurting her. i made my decision to stay with my girlfriend and see where it goes. my ex completely understood and even said thats wat i should do. she would never take me back knowing i had feelings for someoene else. the fact is ill always love that woman, she was my first. im not even talking to her because i know wut it will lead to. i dont want to cheat because thats not how i am. i just wish i could see my ex with no feelings of love at all....seeing her really make me think

This is a long story, but I have been with my girlfriend for a year now. shes a great lady, and really loves me. I do love her very much and we have a great relationship. about a month before my girfriend and i got together, I had just ended a relationship with my first love, becasuse the long distance between us was really hard, especially for her. she wanted to be single and experience before she settled down. but i never doubted her love for me, and i chose not to talk to her because i have a gf. I got into a relationship with my current gf very soon after my ex and i broke up. The thing is, a couple months ago, my ex called me from a blocked phone number a year after no contact, and she told me she wanted to see me. After hearing her voice i felt compelled to see her, and i took her to the beach where we would hng out wen we were together. i felt all my feelings rushing back so fast, and it scared me. she wanted to end things on good tersm since we didnt end on good terms at all. i left her all alone wen she needed me the most, and that relly hurt her. anways soo after we hung out, i texted her to see if she wnated to hang out again and she agreed. we went back to the beach talked as if we had never been apart. being with her felt so great, and i forgot just how much i miissed her. we went bak to my house to drink a couple beers and watch tv, and she started getting emotional, saying that i hurt her and that she wished things wer different. all i wanted to do was hug her, so wen i asked her for a hug we did.....and holding her for the first time after a year felt so good. I feel HORRIBLE because i know that i am emotionally cheating on my current gf, but i cant help it! she was my first love and i dont know why my feelings are still there after a year of no contact! we hung out again the next day because she left her ipod at my house, and alot of sexual tension was built. wen that happened i told her that i loved my gf, and i was in love and she said she would respect that. she had told me that she was going to try her best to be on a "friends" basis because she cared for me and didnt want me to regret cheating on my gf. i let her sleep over because it wasnt safe for her to drive wen she had been drinking with me, which was my fault for letting that happen. cuddling with her and feeling hr next to me jsut felt so right. it sucks because she has changed SO much...she looks amazing, and has grown to be such a great woman. we havent talked to in 2months since that last night....and im still wiht my gf. she doesnt know anything and i dont want her to not be in my life because shes an amazing woman. i feel horrible for doing this to her. lower then scum, but i could not help it. my ex has not contacted me either...but she said to me "i think things are going to happen with us the way they are meant too" ....and i said i think soo tooo....im so torn i love my girlfriend now and i want to make it work, ive invested so much into that relationship. Im afraid that if i broke up wiht her to be with my ex i could possible lose two woman if my ex changed her mind. my ex clearly is stil in love with me...and i think about that all the time any advice on how to deal with my feelings for my ex?