law4life

thanks I appreciate it

You need to discern more about these men and books are agreat guide to this. My sister and female friends love Dr. Laura's (link removed) advice of childhood issues and women mate selection. Also "Help, I'm In Love with a Narcissist" by Steven Carter & Julia Sokol is a great way to find out which men are selfishly in it for themselves. Since you've mentioned church above as a place you meet these guys read the whole book of Proverbs to really discern which men deserve a wonderful Godly woman. These suggestions should give you a good starting point to make that paradigm shift towards finding and picking the right level headed and caring men.

 

 

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I will do that. For now I am out of the dating scene, I am focusing on myself, family, education, and work. All other things will come in the future. I will wait until the right man shows me he deserves me completely. At this point I just want to rest, love, and enjoy my life. My "roller coaster ride" with this man is over. It feels good to not speak to him, it is more than empowering. I give him no attention, and no communication though I am with child. What an awesome way to re-gain my self-worth, and protect the baby from stress while inside me. When and if he ever decides to contact me, there will be no straws for him to grap onto, yet, I know in my heart this type of man won't care whether I am around or not, becuase he is oblivious to anything meaningful, kind, or true.

I met my recent guy through campus, we were both into politics, so that is how our relationship began, as a casual friendship. We had lunch and long conversations about religion, life, and many other topics. I have never met a man in a club or bar, I have met men from average places like church, or through mutual friends. I have tried to be selective, I think from not having a strong male figure around, I did not learn the skill of knowing when a guy is real or not. I trust toooo easily.

You are so on track, the more you focus on yourself, the more you will become ready for MR. RIGHT, instead of wasting time on MR. RIGHT NOW. Stay strong, we are here for you!!!

Yes, this guy waited for a year and a half, that is so confusing to me. He played the waiting game very well. I have learned my lesson, however, harsh it may be, I have learned.

Yes you can, be careful

I agree, you should seek counseling prior to dating anyone, especially while you are still young. Getting help now will save a lot of heartache in the future. I was raped at 13 lost my virginity that way. I am 33 now, and still have problems dealing with men. No one got help for me, you go get it for yourself, I wish I didn't wait so long to get it. Trust me, you are more than likely not bi-or gay. You just need to be healed that's all Sweetie...

Yes, communication skills can be learned. A great start is being more observant of others, and listen more than you talk. There are great books on it at the library, etc. Good luck

Yea, but once his lies started coming out, he decided not to go back for some reason. I am starting to think that was one of his many lies to keep me off track from the truth, you know?

Don't worry deblez, he will do the same thing to her. Men like that will hurt any woman they are with. I was left with special needs twins, I understand. Now the first guy I opened up to has broken my heart, and lied to me, he is married and I did not know, now I am finished with him because I am against adultery. Just know, one, you are not alone, second, he does not love himself or he would not treat you that way. Third, keep loving those children no matter what he does. You will be alright. I cant imagine your position, however, follow your heart and love yourself. Don't let him blame you for his not being faithful he made a promise to you, to love you for better or for worse. He is breaking that promise, not you. Pray and know no matter what he does, God will hear you, you are his angel. Be encouraged.

The relationship I just ended was the same way, though I am having his child, he is cut off from any communication not intended toward a dr.s appt, etc. under no circumstances should anyone be abused or neglected by anyone. Ignore him, he is only playing some sort of game, whether he is a nice guy sometimes, and a jerk other times, if he does not make you feel appreciated and loved, LEAVE HIM ALONE, before it is too late and you end up with a child, or God forbid married to him. Everything you allow to happen, will only mess you up in the future for a nice guy who loves you. As soon as the nice guy doesn't answer your call you are going to relate it to this jerk. Your nice guys cell phone could have just died, but you will be conditioned to react negatively, please leave him alone, I know what I am talking about from experience. Please let him go, move on sweetie.

They seem to be great to start, much like the guy I have been seeing. Once I became pregnant I found out he is married, and has a lot of other baggage I cant deal with.

And how long have you had this problem?

For many years, I would say since 1998.

I don't mean to pry, but I would need to know more to accuratly tell you what can be the issue. Who are you as a person in detail? Have you soul searched for your indentity? What's your circumstances that lead to this cycle? Where are you finding or attracting these guys? Why do you feel it's you and not them? Do you know what you want in a man's indentity? How do you act when the right guys are around?

I am a full time student, I work, and have children. I have the weekends to date and enjoy myself. I make time for all things, of course by priority. I cook, and do everything in my relationships I think would make the other person feel appreciated. I have been told by a couple of guys I seem too good to be true and that makes them feel nervous. Like theres some kind of catch. I am attentive and emotional, I think for some men, they arent ready for a woman like me, maybe because I act like their wife or something. I have to admit, I don't like casual sex, so maybe that is the problem too.

Hello, for some odd reason I seem to keep attracting the same type of guy. I have even made a guy wait for a very long time before intimacy, it still turns out the same. I am unsure if there is something I am doing, I have never figured out men, or the relationship thing. I think when that ability was passed out I must have been sleep or something. Need advice really bad, especially from men. I am sweet, and strong, I am told I have all the qualities a man could want, yet, I am always getting the short end of the stick...

A little, not too much, it is hard for them to understand how I could get into a situation like this. I have to admit, it is hard for me to accept to. I am unaturally angry with him. To the point where I can't sleep sometimes just out of anger with him.

Some men are dogs. Some can learn to behave while others will always use the bathroom on your carpet

Thank you all, so much, I never expected such support and understanding. I feel a lot better now.

Oh wow, that guy sounds like he has no respect for anyone not even himself. I am so sorry that your going through this.

 

Everythings gonna be alright, make sure you take him to court and get child support too!

thank you soo much

Good luck on getting child support. Sure hope he makes enough money to go around to all. What a mess. I wish you a very easy pregnancy.

Yea, I know. I think he may have to get another job.

Good luck on getting child support. Sure hope he makes enough money to go around to all. What a mess. I wish you a very easy pregnancy.

Thank you, I wish you the best too!!

Good luck on getting child support. Sure hope he makes enough money to go around to all. What a mess. I wish you a very easy pregnancy.

Thank you so much, the pregnancy is going very well so far, I hope it continues to be this way

Oh wow, that guy sounds like he has no respect for anyone not even himself. I am so sorry that your going through this.

 

Everythings gonna be alright, make sure you take him to court and get child support too!

You bet he has no respect, but I do have one advantage, I am at court all the time with my job, so I will prepare my own documents for child support. Thank you so much for responding...

Oh, unbelievable. I am so sorry that you're going through this. What a tool that guy is, it's amazing that he could keep that mask on for such a long time. We're here for you, every step of the way! Including when you take that idiot for every penny he's worth - your baby WILL be taken care of!

Thank you sooo much, my family is very upset with me right now, it helps to have some support...

I know most men are not this way, he is the first one I have had like this, what a shame, but all I can do is make the most of it, thank you for your response..