super_dave0001

where u from tdotnyc?

lol asking me if im "still alive" at 2am then at 230pm of the same day, ask me to bail her outta jail if the need arises is being an old bud? first i no she would never end up in jail... that was simply a scare tactic into geting me to talk to her. she was looking for attention from me... but she being an idiot about it. desperation moves cause i suddenly just disapeard from her... thats what i gather about it anyway...

Do not, Do not, Do not contact her. You will regret it if you do. Trust me. She needs alot of time to miss you and I guarantee she will if you don't contact her. Do not be friends with her as she is just trying to soften the blow and wean herself off you.

what do you mean by wean herself off you? and i have no intentions of making contact with her. she can sit there and wonder what im upto all she likes. she wanted her space from me, and now i want mine! i don't know why she is trying to get my attention so stupidly tho... i aint going to budge until im ready or if she says she wants to try again...

lol maintain contact? no way im happy where i am now. like i said i'm waiting for the phone call at night where shes drunk and crying. i will laugh at her. and appearently shes going out again tonight to party hard. thats what i gather from her second txt.

how can you go and break up with someone after 6 years and say lets be friends? i totally understant what your getting at tho with the arm analigy. im happy now if she is missing me and wondering what im upto now. im just a bit bitter lol

the thing is when she broke up with me i cried, begged, pleeded and then we did talk for 3 weeks, then monday came and i cut her off. she started telling me how she was interested in another guy and things like that. i don't need to hear that or know it.

LOL. THAT is hot. net-speak. Ok, but no really. I'm assuming that you're right, she probably is like ''OMG OMG OMG he doesn't talk to me? " It happens sometimes.

 

How long ago did you guys break up, and how long were you together?

she broke up with me a month ago, we were together for 6 years... started NC on monday, and we broke up because she said she was becoming bored and the spark wasn't there, but she wanted to stay friends. honestly i didn't think that she would contact me so soon, let alone contact me at all, due to the fact that she said she was NOT missing me

super_dave001 please write out your posts and do not use netspeak. Your post is extremely hard to read.

um ok? whats netspeak? when i say things like "wut" "n" things like that?

no lol after we broke up she started going out with friends... but she might have thought i was out at that time, i was beat from playing soccer... anyway i think shes just lookin for attention from me cause i disapeard off the radar

yea but at 2am all she said was "r u still alive?" there was nothing else to it,that dosent sound very personal so thats y i kinda think she might have bin tipsy, all honesty im waitn for the drunk phone call where shes in tears n im just there like oooooookk...... lol

ive been on NC with my ex for 5 day now, i litterally disapeard from her, i blocked her and her friends on msn. havent gone onto any websites where she can see if ive bin on etc....

saturday morning at 2am i was woke up by my cell phone, it was a txt msg from the ex asking me "r u still alive?" i didnt respond... she was most likely out with her friends and probably had a bit to drink....

then saturday afternoon around 2:30pm i get another txt from the ex saying " k well u might be dead but i just need to ask u a simple question, if i happen to need u to bail me out of jail tonight can i give u a call?" once again i didnt respond to it. to be honest i thought about it and said to myself, nah i wouldnt! lol i wouldnt even pick up the phone. im on NC after all

anyways my question is this, * * * is wrong with her? b4 i went onto NC with her i asked her if she missed me and she said no, shes trying not to think of me so she wont miss me... so i told myself fine then i dont need this or u and i blocked her without saying bye... so wuts the deal with her now txting me? is she just trying to check up on me? does she possibly miss me? ( i dont believe she does)

i assume shes just trying to get a response outta me but i aint cracking like i would have b4... ive become stronger and confident in myself, even tho a bit of me wants her back... very little mind u....

any tid bits of advice or ur thoughts r welcome thanks in advance!

Bcuz: I wouldn't reply.

 

Darnit, Bcuz!! LOL stop telling him that.

 

 

I would reply. And I would say, ''Yes, quite. And why are you reminding me that YOU are still alive. '' .... and see what she says!

thats like a slap in the face lol! i dont wanna be rude lol

 

well its been about 4 or 5 days of NC now... last night(friday) i played a crazy soccer game with the boys from high school, anyways i was totally wiped after and decided to stay home for the night, i took a shower and fell asleep as soon as i sat down...

 

i ended up getn a txt msg on my phone @ 2am... it woke me up, i thought it might have bin 1 of my buddies but it was my ex... the txt read "r u still alive?"

 

we havent seen eachother since the break up, bin about a month i believe lol im not even sure now, its like im slowly forgetn her and everthing bout her, n like i said NC for like 5 days, i blocked her on my msn, n her friends... so i dont really no wut to do now? should i say something in response to her txt?

i think that if i dont then she will become angry with me and just never talk to me again.... not that it really matters i guess lol

...and i must say im doing ok! i get little bursts of depression but it dont last long, got some good friends to talk with, plus alot of reading off of enotalone helps too... just got a new satalite so ill be watchn lots of tv as i work out...

NC is tough but it helps to heal the heart and the soul... as long as i keep myself occupied with things, n not on my ex then ill be groven lol... actually come to think of it, not talking to my ex means i dont no wut is going on in her life which saves on alot of heart ache, i dont need to no that shes talking to other guys and stuff like that so i blocked her on msn too so i dont need to hear it....

at the same time as i move on and heal i have a piece inside of me that hopes shes kinda suffering and wondering wut IM upto since ive disappeard ... considering she had me as a "friend" to talk to.... she even went as far as to say that she doesnt think of me so she wont miss me.... well like i said im moving on nicely but i have this bitterness inside that hopes she is missing me now and wondering wut has happened to me...

Hey Super Dave,

 

You gotta quit putting your head on the chopping block. It's been a month since my ex quit me...and it's been f****** hell-I have talked to her a few times and saw her once to pick an item up from her house...but I have signed up for link removed and I have a coffee date tomorrow....it doesn't completely take away the pain, but while I'm talking to the new girl I don't think about the ex as much. My advice to you is...exercise, eat right, force yourself to go out and have fun...and date. I have never done this before...I usually wallow in misery...but not this time. Best

i do exercise and eat right, ive lost 20 pounds since the break up lol... i go out with friends when i can cause there work schedual sometimes is conflicting... im actually thinking of joining up with a indoor soccer leaugue or a ice hockey league to meet new ppl, make more friends so on.... but like i said to have the companionship of another woman also helps with the moving on, not to go and date, cause then its a rebound and usualy that dont work out, just to be able to talk to the opposite sex.... but they dont seem to wanna talk to me....

so i was talkin to my ex and some how the topic of missing eachother came up, she says she trys not to think of me so she wont miss me, and she asked me if i missed her... i took a page outta majord's book and said.. " initially i did but ive bin so busy that i dont have time to think about it"

i ended up saying its nice to see uve moved on so quickly, n she responded "how have i moved on?" and i told her well u say ur enjoying ur life, dont miss me, having fun without me, going out with friends and talking to other guys to start dating.... and she said isnt that wut ppl do when they break up? and besides ur enjoying ur life... lol no im not? this break up sucks the bag, i didnt tell her that tho... im trying to show that i have confidence...

she ended up telling me that shes rejected every guy thats asked her out

i ended up asking if she thinks well get back together and she said not really, not in the near future..... that crushed wut was left of my heart...

i dont understand, ppl tell me theres other girls out there that diserve me, she dosent even diserve the sweat off my sack, but yet i cant find any... girls dont seem to wanna talk to me... i no if i talked to other girls it would help me move on completely, help me realise that she isnt worth my time at all, n in turn i wouldnt give 1 second of my day to her...

friendship at this point is to hard when she talks to me about calling other guys and going out with friends and stuff... i dont think she realises how much i still feel for her... obviously i can tell shes trying to hide her emotions on missing me....

i just realised sumtin... me trying to talk to her like this is just killing wuts left of me... im being used as a back up plan, and being used to ease her pain, and most of her emotions that she feels for me, shes just hiding them by trying not to think of me....

im kinda bitter atm i hope she gets burnt by her next bf in return for the way shes treating me, i wonder if her trying to deny her emotions for me, missing me and wutever will back fire on her eventually??

i just finished talking to my ex on msn, i didnt tell her about meeting up, but in fact she told me this.... "give me a call if u wanna do anything" then "hahaha i just made myself laugh actually, like ud call me lol" then she said "ok bye" i didnt respond to any of it...

I agree with the other posts. I think you should take it quite slow on this hanging out together. Keep it light and not too serious relationship wise.

 

For now I would let her see that you are happy and you are going on about your life.

 

Was it she that broke it off with you ? Do you mind talking about the reason behind the breakup?

yea no problem, we went out for 6 months broke up for 2 months after, her decision, then got back together for 6 years broke up 3 weeks ago her decision again lol, first time was because we never saw eachother, like once or twice a month, now this time was because we started growing distant, the spark faded, things got boring for us.....

Maybe just keep it friendly for now, dont 'push' your feelings on her yet. Let your actions speak for you and she will see you for the good man that you are.

so u recomend not to go through with it? cause curently we talk off an on, on the computer... its really hard, ive gone back to my old self where im outgoing confident friendly and doing things with friends, now i want her by my side again, but i think shes trying so hard to push these feelings aside, just to be friends, but if she does this she will never get over me cause we keep talkin, isnt she just setn her self up for a crash and burn?

ok so ive bin thinking of seeing my ex.... go out for a coffee or sumtin.... its bin 3 weeks since our break up.... i no she still feels for me inside,she told me so, she told me in the first week of our break up that she feels that this is for the best right now, n that she is happy... but she could just be full of ... its hard to know if she misses me unless i were to flat out ask her but i dunno if thats a good idea...keep in mind tho that this isnt forced, she has told me b4 that she does want to hang out when im ready...plus she has things she wants to give back which i dont care for...

all i want is for her to see that she made a mistake breaking up with me n not to deny her feelings for me... that the spark between us is still there, we just need to work at it, not give up.... i believe that if i dont give up hope then maybe it can work out....

wut does that mean she wants a friendship on her terms?

i was told by my ex's friend that my ex said this...."if he wants to listen to other ppl and his friends then he's a coward, he should just listen to his heart" she also said she doesnt wanna waste any more of her time if im gonna be like this

ive posted my story a few times already an got great advice... i decided to go full NC with my ex this week (we were together almost 6 years, broke up 3 weeks ago).. so it was about 2 days into NC and then one of my ex's friends msgs me say my ex said im a coward if im not gonna talk to her and be friends after almost 9 years total of friendship/realationship....

im not a coward, but this is really hard for me, she says she still has feelings for me, like she cares about me and everything, but thinks its best that were not in a bf,gf realationship together.... we didnt even break up on bad terms, it was the fact that things between us became boring, we grew distant from eachother according to her.... so who knows if we could get back together if that spark re-ignites in her.... i no ull all say to keep going NC with her and that i need to heal, but in all honesty im pretty well healed. It may seem kinda fast but i can get over things really quick. I adapt to situations pretty well ... i go out with friends now which is sumtin i gave up when i was with my ex.... ive learned alot about myself and her in this time apart.... im keeping my mind off of her by working out, going for jogs with my friends....i honestly in my heart feel she is the 1 for me and she made a mistake that she hasent realised yet

we havent seen eachother in the 3 weeks we've bin apart n theres things i use to do for her like call her every morning to say goodmorning to her, n i wonder if she misses any of this. There were other things that facter into the break up, we only saw eachother on weekends, during the week we talked alot, but as time wore on we talked less n less... there wasnt much to talk about on the phone after 6 years i guess... i could have seen her during the week, but i guess i was just to lazy to go

another strange thing is that right after we broke up i didnt talk to her for 2 days, n on the third day we talked on msn and she wouldnt stop, it was like we werent even apart, i think if i were to get that spark re-ignited in us both than we could be together again... this whole deal is really confusing cause she does wanna see me in person, but i dont, i even told her dont be surprised if we never see eachother again...thats not wut i want tho.

y is she trying to deni her feeling for me? she tried ending this b4 and i did stay in contact with her the 2 monthes we were apart b4 n we ended up back together.... i wonder if the same will happen again.... i really hate "wut if's"....i really feel tho that if i do hang out with her n do fun things with her things will spark up again considering we broke up on good terms and such a cheesy reason to break apart

Im going through this at the moment.

 

Me and my ex broke up on the 13th september 06, and i'm seeing her on tuesday, just as friends, iv started being nice to her already and i think she can see the change. However, she keeps stating that when we meet, not to get the wrong idea, and that we are friends and thats it.

 

I believe if i show her how confident i am, how much of a changed man i am etc, i think she may fall in love with me again. But it does take time. I'm not expecting to get back with her, but im working on it. I'v seen it happen before with other couples. So why not me? heh.

yea my ex is mad that im not talking to her, she called me a coward for it and that she would rather just stop trying to be friends if im not gonna talk to her, she calling my behaviour childish....

i kinda laugh at it tho, cause i no its 1 of those things were she aint getting her way so she gets upset.... ill admit tho ive done sum stupid things like speeding on the highway and * * * * and she finds out.... plus she also thinks i have no friends cause i never talked to them when me an my ex were together.... she finds it strange how they all just came outta no where from 1 day to the next.... so much drama lol

just thought of a question...... do u think its possible when 2 ppl break up but stay friends, in time get back together again? cause they end up falling in love again from seeing changes in the person they broke up with...

example: me n my ex broke up because i got lazy and hit a comfort zone with her where i stoped doing things with her... we would only do the same things all the time, things got boring....but now since we've broke up, ive kinda gone back to being my old self again... going out with friends, n doing things in my life that i use to do when i was single and first knew my ex... which in turn made me attractive to her...

im wondering if she sees this if she will fall for me again... but at this point in my life i dont want her back, im not even talking to her now, she msgs me once in a while but i dont respond

i honestly think tho that by being the way i was b4 and in the beginning of our realtionship, she will become attracted to me again...

lemme hear ur insite and critiques....

i also feel the same as snow patrol, i think i miss my ex more then she misses me, i think about her all day even when im at work n the past couple nights ive bin having dreams about us, but there not things from the past, its like its the future or maybe its just sumtin i wish we did together..... hard to say, i cant even watch tv shows that we use to watch together cause it reminds me of her.... how pathetic on my part lol

To a certain extent...

lol care to explain? in my opinion i think it can "IF" it was real love to begin with.... they say love is blind so i guess sumtimes u loose ur way and need sum distance to see the light again, so to speak...

im in the same situation myself, me and my ex went out for 6 monthes then broke apart for 2 monthes she dated another guy in that time apart from me, then we got back together for 6 years... ironic, 6 months for 6 years eh? we just split bout 2 and a half weeks ago.... was kinda ugly on her part, now she thinks were friends....lol but im just keeping my distance, ill respond minimally to her msn msgs but now im gonna just stop talkin to her.... give it time and space for myself to heal... if we happen to give it another go later on im sure we will be smarter and wiser.... esspecailly me...n im not even sayin ill get back with her anyway once she sees the grass aint greener, but who knows wut the situation could be like and wut i might feel in the future???

do u really believe absense makes the heart grow fonder?