super_dave0001

so like i said earlier i told her i wanted to talk to her today... that i needed time to think, and for it not to let wut i have to say bother her cause i didnt give her any idea about wut it is... she told me it wouldnt effect her she was gonna be out drinking to much to think about it... she knows i hate that !

anyways, i still dont really no wut i wanna say to her... its supposed to be about where we stand, and hopefully she will tell me wut shes feeling about me and US... i also wanna ask her y the sudden apology and y shes suddenly talking to me as a "friend" only 2 weeks after our break up of 6 years....

personally im not ready for this friendship... the break up is still to fresh. this is y it leads me to wonder if there is alterior motive here... but the fact that she told me shes happy apart hits hard aswell... like i said who knows if its the truth or not...

i bin having messed up dreams too lately, that me an my ex r out on a nice romantic date n were both happy lol oh god i think ive gone insane....

Its a possibility that she may want to get back with you, but if she was serious about being with you, I feel she would've said something about getting back together instead of saying she wanted to be "friends".

 

I agree that two weeks is really too soon to go from a relationship (especially if you two were together for 6 years) to just a friendship.

possibly, but its also possible that she would be to embaressed to admit that... who knows, i could just be kidding myself, this is so stressful trying to figure out the opposite sex, u never no wut they want or mean when they say sumtin to u...there always seems to be secret hiddin msgs in the words they speak....

y cant they just say wut they mean n mean wut they say? just say it black or white, none of this shade of gray b.s.

i guess that would just make things too easy

Given the length you two were together, she wants to feel as though she is still a part of your life. And like what the others have said, she may feel guilty or bad about ending the relationship.

im starting to wonder tho if shes i dunno, trying to get me to get back with her sum how, but starting out as friends again.... it just seems so fast tho 2 weeks and shes rushing into a friendship... im still here greeving lol, not a desperate greeve, but 1 none the less

maybe she dosent even feel this way, its just the impression im getting...

Ohhhh. Never mind, then.

 

lol.

 

How can someone be your ex if you're still chatting it up? Silly.

huh? lol she talks to me, she broke up with me 2 weeks ago, but wanted to be friends, i did the nc thing..... but she kept pestering me when id come online, its starting to sound complicated lol

but no were not together that i assure u of.... i even asked her this "so all of a sudden were talking again?" cause i figured when she wanted time it would be a hella lot longer.. and she said "yes as friends"

What exactly were the terms on which you two broke up? Do you actually think you can forgive her for whatever she did?

 

she broke up with me because she said she felt bord in this realationship, that it was rutien and she wasnt feeling the spark anymore, we were going out for just under 6 years... but its only bin 2 weeks since the break up..... when she told me she wanted time to be by herself...all this time ment 2 meesssssly weeks?

Just keep ignoring her.

 

She's feeling guilty, and wants you to help relieve her own anxiety.

 

It will do no good to talk to her right now. You can have my 100% guarantee on that.

 

hmmmm?? i just finished talking to her online, she started the convos

i ended up asking her if she was happy apart, she said she is and that she thinks it was best...... now if shes being honest or not is hard to tell over msn, but keep in mind that she broke up with me 2 weeks ago and at that time she claimed she needed time to herself... gimme a break... 2 weeks? and ur ready to talk as "friends"

 

she said she still loves me and cares for me, dosent want anything bad to happen to me, cause she knows im going for my motorcycle lisense and she dont like that..lol

 

i ended up telling her i needed to talk to her but i needed time to think about wut i need to say to her, she kinda freaked out trying to get it outta me, not in a bad or mean way btw... but i said no

 

anyways im confused on wut shes doing, or thinking in that little pee brain of hers lol... is she trying to slowly get back into things with me by being friends but not trying to make it obvious that she wants me back...?

 

any ideas or insite would be greatly appreaciated.....

ok so i was offline of msn for 2 days, then i came on 1 night an my ex jumped at me with a msg " i need to talk to u" so i waited like 5 minutes to reply, i said "um go for it" she then msged me appoligising (sorry for my spelling lol) for the way she was treating me after the break up, that she feels bad and that i was a big part of her life and that she wants to be on good terms and friends..... she then went on to say how she wasnt forcing anything on me and that she wasnt expecting to be given forgivness for the way she was being to me....

that pretty much sums it up... i didnt end up responding to her... so today i come online again n she was on but again i didnt msg her... she msged me asking how my family was of all things, n i just said there fine....

im confused, wut does all this mean? this appology.... i dunno wut to think about it

i agree, i still get the relapses n stuff, i also wonder wut shes thinking about alot....or if she talks to her friends about missing me n such... i believe that she thinks i dont have it in me to stay away n not talk to her.... so far so good lol

trick is to keep the mind occupied with other things..

there was passionate love.... maybe still is but the fact that nc is in play is just making it go away.... for me, but its hard to know wut goes through the ex's mind

hmmm.... explain this... i don't see it happening for myself lol.....

SuperDave....why would she ask you how much weight you've lost?? Did she mean that as an insult? Not sure how to advise without more details...

lol she said that because ive bin exercising like its a religion now... n i have lost a bit of weight since we broke up... n the whole time we were together she would nag me to loose weight n i never got on it... her friends probably told her

if she wanted to insult me she wouldnt coment on my weight

so much and just chillax man

 

its just talk...shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhesh

no way... its still to fresh, and i aint getin my hopes up just to crash and burn... not this early, ill let it ferment for a little... like the saying goes "absense makes the heart grow fonder"

sometimes tho i don't know if that is even true to be honest.....

so the ex msgd me twice yesterday.... she said my msn name sounds gross... then an hour later she asked me how much weight ive lost... i laughed and closed the windows both times, then just went offline..... my buddy thinks shes msgd me to see how im feeling, to give her peace of mind, but i dont think so... but shes the 1 that said she didnt wanna talk to me, but she broke the silence... nevermind tho i kept it going on my part lol i think if i msgd her back it would just be a set up for falure....

ok so me n my ex talked online today, it started out rough, then eased into a understanding...i asked her if i was wasting my time trying to make a friendship thing work, and wut was going through her head, eventually she said to me that shes having to much fun n she doesnt no where i fit in the picture yet....(keeping in mind that she dumped me cause she didnt no where this realationship was going, it was becoming boring to her and rutien and the connection wasnt as strong as in the beginning which was 6 years ago...but she said she still loved me)

..... so i said do u wanna be friends with me like u said u wanted? and she baisically said she wanted but not right away..... she wants time to heal so to speak...

so im just trying to decide now, wut do i do? i no i give her her space, but do i eventually try to contact her down the road, or wait for it from her...?? im afraid that if i dont contact her, then she will forget about me...

i dont feel that this is a NC issue anymore, its kinda like time apart from eachother to see how things fall an land... on her part anyway

prior to these 6 years we had gone out for 6 months and she broke it off... i honestly dont remember much about back then, like if i did nc to her back then...she dated another guy and kept calling him my name and thinking of me... they broke it off and she came back to me but i dont no wut it was that i did that brought her back.....?

deep down in my heart i feel that she is the one for me, my soul mate if u will.... but shes just lost her way...all my friends tell me that 6 years is along time and she will probably realise she made a mistake and come back again... its just the time until that point is killing me... my heart honestly aches in pain right now as i type this not knowing how long it could be before we talk again...

thx for all ur support in advance

because she is trying to pussh you away.. and the more you try to get closer the more she is going to try and push you away. you have to delete her msn and everything that reminds you of her put it in a box and put it away or throw it away.. NC is very hard, but its the only way you will heal.

then if shes tryn to push me away, why tell me she wants to be friends? she did say she wants sum time to herself... why not just tell me not to have any communication, if we meet down the road we see wut happens....dont say u wanna be friends but only talk when it convienent for her no?

How old is your ex? If she's still young, it's likely that she's experiencing a lot of doubt and wondering who she will become. After 6 years with someone, it might be that she felt she had to "experience the world" before she got too old to have fun.

 

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my ex is 20, n im 22....honestly ive bin told so many different things, so many different scenarios that its to much to process, things like move on, forget her, others like give her the space n she will come back to u, she will realise wut she did was a mistake.... i feel like i gotta disappear to another country sumtimes

 

so ur saying shes gonna wanna go out n do her thing "experience the world" could she have not done that with me? lol girls no offence the majority of them dont no wut they want, n dont realise wut they got tell its gone..... shes gonna eventually see wut she d id was a mistake.. n most likely ill kick her to the curb unless shes able to show me that shes not here to string me around

yea but wut drives a person to become a total biatch... after 6 years and all???

ok ok i no about the whole NC n i tried to do it, i failed, a meeeessslly 2 days then i gave in..... i asked her on msn wut she was doing that night and she told me none of my bussiness... i said sorry i cant even ask a question.... and she told me after she was going out with friends.... she dosent seem to have a problem not contacting me, it seems like she wants nothing to do with me... always giving me attitude whenever i try to ask sumtin... but me on the other hand, im too weak its way to hard to sit here and watch her name on msn say things like "had an awsome time last night" or "if socailizing was a subject id be an A+ student"

no contact is super hard for me, we were together 6 years and she suddenly said to me she didnt feel it anymore and wanted to be by herself.... it seems like this break up isnt effecting her at all... but its hard to say cause she wont talk to me and her friends wont tell me anything, they just say give her her space... id love to be able to get out and do stuff meet new ppl, but my friends work alot, or have gf's of there own, so it seems like im kinda stuck at home all the time, but shes always out partying now...

i guess wut im trying to get at is that i dunno wut to do, NC is really hard for me, esspecailly when the times i talked to her she * * * * *es at me like she doesnt care for me..... honestly i wish i new wut was going through her head....how is it that sum1 that was supposedly so in love with me can turn there back to me like this...i dont wanna presure her into geting back with me, but she said she wanted to be friends, but she doesnt wanna talk to me at all, she wants time....im startn to wonder if she just said the whole friends thing to kinda ease my pain???

id like to possibly sum day down the road try again to make things work, but the conditions would have to be so perfect its hard to say it ever could happen, i would want to have her prove to me that she wouldnt get up and leave again....

ive heard NC ends up driving the ex mad, it just takes time to reach that point, because they need to realise things on there own..... n that it can end up bringing ppl back together and making the bond stronger.... i just dont no how u ppl can do it, it such a hard process for me.... but i no that if i keep tryn to make contact n shes not, it shows signs of weakness to her, like im clingy... which isnt attractive to girls.....

so confused i dont even no if wut i wrote makes sense lol..... BLAH!

i want to start the no contact with her now, ill talk to her friends, but she wants her space and time.... ive realised eventually she will wonder about me and think about our past, it will probably eat her alive inside if i have NC with her...make her realise wut she lost..... hopefully anyway.. i want her to realize the mistake she made and how much she hurt me....

only thing is i dont no how to start, i mean yea just stop talking i realize that much.. but she told me she wants space n time, n i didnt accept it at first, i kept msging her....n she would get madwith me.. which i now realise i was showing her a sign of weekness in me.... i want her to no that im not gonna talk to her now until shes ready to, but i dunno if she will see it as me giving up since i couldnt accept the fact in the beginning, n i dont wanna just go flat out im not talking to u, like a little baby... n i no she will keep bothing me to exchange our stuff back, i want her to realise that im confident in myself and not gonna be sum puppet on a string, n that ive changed from when were going out, but changed for myself from learning experiences... i no that will drive her crazy too, possible attract her back to me, but if it comes to that point, ill be the 1 calling the shots and desisions

i do want her back probably always will, nc or no nc, but i want her to realise that if she desides to try to give it another go, im not the same that i was the first time round, n that im in charge

Dave, I had a similar thing happen to me, my ex said how bored she was. She said she wanted space. The best thing is to GIVE IT TO HER. I agree with BetterKarma to go into NC. Its a hard thing to realize that you need to do but its for the best. Like she said expect phone calls or Im's from her when shes lonely or misses you. It doesnt mean she wants to get back together, it just serves as reinforcement that your still there.

 

Best of luck to you, hopefully you and your ex can find your way again

her friend msged me asking when me n my ex r gonna meet up to give back stuff.... i said im not gonna do it, the my ex got on the computer and she said ill show up at my door and give everything to my parents... keep in mind my parents hate her guts now lol but i didnt tell her that..... she insists to give back sum stuff that i dont want, but she also wants to give back the promise ring i gave her an take the 1 she gave me back, and she wants her house key back.... i keep telling her im not ready to see her yet, i dunno wut to do.... she says lets just do this and get it over with.... shes confusing the * * * * outta me, she wants no contact with me tell shes ready, wants her space, but yet she wants to exchange r stuff back n she wont accept it when i say no im not ready to look at her face.... she got angry at me n logged off giving an excuse that her laptop was on low battery lol b.s.

i cant believe how much of a * * * * * shes becoming to me, shes always bin the type to want her way an if it dosent happen all hell breaks loose, i dont give a flying sack of * * * * about the promise rings, if i get the 1 i gave her back ill throw it in the lake or in her face.... how can she say lets be friends when im ready if she wont stop treating me so poorly..... i dont think the whole flowers thing is a good idea since shes showing her true self and dosent care about my feelings!

im so friggen pissed off now

n is it also wise to stop talking to her friends aswell? like i consider them my friends but there hella lot closer to her, they were her friends i just met them through her

the only thing i can think of really is that she was bored, we didnt do much exciting, nothing fun after awhile, im 22 and she would say im like 70 year old man, that eventaully got to her

damn ur good lol.... so i should block her on my msn aswell ?like obviously never call her i no that, but should i go as far as to block her msn?or just play a strong mental game and not msg her.... that sounds like a dumb question lol

so wut should i do now? should i sever all ties with her? or should i try to be there along the way, and really try to be friends..... i already no that if she starts dating again it will kill me inside... but at the same time 6 years steady is so long to just say have a nice life, esspecailly since im not the type of guy to do those things to anyone period...

Six years.....has there been any talk of marriage?

Maybe she's bored of waiting for you to propose.

Has the topic ever come up?.

yes, she new i wanted to marry her, i had a proposal planned out, but we were waiting for her to finish university