hey, im new to this forum and this is my first post. it might just give me a chance to let off some steam. it might set me free.
anyway..
i really need some advice i guess.
Me and my partner have been on and off together for 4 years. every time we broke up months will pass and we will always end up forgiving eachother and grow from it and get back. this time its different.
My father had recently passed when she came in my life for the last time. she helped through it all. helped me pick up all the pieces. Got me out off things like my gambling problem, alchocol abuse and my infedelities.
when my father was going through cancer i went on a destructive path
i was also diagnossed with bi-polar
Everything was going great. Until one night i slept over her place. i was lying on her bed. and i couldnt stop crying. cryed so hard it felt like my heart was anytime going to come out of my mouth. i explained to her how much i loved her but i really needed my time to get over my father and concentrate on myself. i explained i had bi-polar and if we were to have a life together i would want to be able to control it for the sake of us. she couldnt understand this and when i walked out she said if you ever come back we will never be the same.
she was right
1 week later she had thought she was pregnant. i asked her to come by place to dicuss and findout together. she never made it. she went over to her friends' house Calven. and said she slept there cause she was tired from work. i was extremelly angry and felt she cheated on me. my head was playing with me.
2 weeks after some of our mutial friends had told her about my infedelities with other women and said to stay away from me. they had to tell her of all my wrong doings
her and our friends wouldnt even talk to me for a long time and had a Huge fued.
my friends forgave me but it was never the same. i finally met up with my now ex and sorted out things out as friends.
then just two days ago i slept over her house we did a few things together in bed but not sex. she wouldnt allow me. the next day i took her to her shop where she manages. everything was great until something clicked in my head.
i said to her you feel different. I honestly knew what i dreaded. i made her confess that she was sleeping with that guy calven. i asked her if you have moved on why do all those things with me last night. why hold my hand while walkin with me. why kiss me. WHY WHY WHY WHY??
and i left because of discust. Now she and our mutual friends( if i can call them that) are going out to dinner with her and this new guy.
i'm so hurt.
i want to tell this calven dude the truth about what me and her were doing. i could totally destroy her. if our mutual friends just knew they would label her a * * * * and would dis own her.
what should i do? should i take on justice and destroy her new world. or should i just let things be and move on with my life. If so how when i know all these things.. PLease Help
Ps. Sorry for the long post