Hi everyone,
I stumbled on to this community through googling the subject I am so anxious about. So I guess I'll just let you know whats up.
As a 19-year-old from a strict Russian background, raised for the most part in the US, I am having a hard time communicating with my parents.
Me and a boyfriend of 4 years have started talking about moving in together.
My problem is, how to discuss this with my parents. I respect them, I love them, and I would hate to disapoint them. As it stands, I am an only child, female, and by their standard shouldnt be thinking about leaving home until I am in my late twenties. Aything different is completely "unacceptable". It isnt even that I would be moving in with a boyfriend, but moving in general.
I had studied as a professional pianist since the age of 4. The last several years, since the age of 14, I started thinking about my future in this. I love music, but am by no means a fanatic. To appease my parent's desire for their child to be a classical pianist, as was my grandmother and grandfather were, I auditioned for several Conservatories and did not get into any. This was about 6 months ago. At that point (relieved I didnt get it) I broke the news to my parents that I did not want to pursue this as a career. They didnt talk to me for a week. This has never happened before in my life. Since then, I have been successfully working as a full time graphic artist with no background except for what my curiosity and passion for design has given me. I decided that this is what I would like to pursue. My parents have always been interested in every little thing I do, and since I started doing graphic design, they havent shown any interest in it. No questions, not looking at my work if I were to try and show it to them. Im not doing work unless Im playing piano or am going to medical school or am doing something "useful" as my parents have so delicately put it... what I am doing is "garbage." I realize they are upset.. but I cannot grow and continue on with my work with constant negative attention every second I am at home.
I do not want to move in with my boyfriend just because of this but because I think the both of is are ready for it. Hope that a little of what I told you about my folks gave you a little insight about my situation and how I feel about them and how they feel about the course I am taking in life. The center of my anxiety is coming from the fact that i have NO IDEA how to talk to them. I have no idea how to even aproach the subject. I do not want to scream out "im moving out" when we are having an argument... I just dont know how to go about it.
Anyone been in a similar circumstance? From a parents or a child's perspective?
