peg0r

I dont think she felt sorry for me, I think she was scared of being alone... The only time she felt pity was when I told her I was on medication for my AADD...

Please help me get over my ex girlfriend ](*,) I met a girl in May 2005 at my work. She was shy to start with, then we started having sex, then we started going out. I was just 21, she was 16. While I did worry a little about the age gap, she seemed very mature and I always had a great time with her, she was funny, smart, and very pretty, and the first four to six months were amazing. Along those first four to six months, we began to open up to each other, I found out she had many problems under the surface, as most girls do, however, it turns out that she had been abused as a child, and has many issues as a result. (But she has good parents who do their best to take care of her, with a really genuine and supporting father) She was/is suffering from depression, self harmed herself when things were bad and I felt she had suicidal tendencies. Her last boyfriend also cheated on her. Her behavior traits include; she is very attention demanding, and very critical of other people (I loved her sarcastic wit) and very difficult to talk to without her thinking that it's a personal attack, along with heavy insecurities and lack of trust, some paranoia and the most immense stubbornness. She was on medication and counseling for her depression and although she stopped taking it because it wasn't good for her as it made her feel unwell and she gave up on the counseling as she didn't enjoy it (I think she didn't like opening up) I myself also have many issues, relating to stability mainly due to my family splitting up when I was eleven and I was always moving around, never properly settling. I had a very abusive relationship with my father (he was very hostile to myself and my mother) and in result of this and probably other things which I haven't appreciated, I am a very constant person who doesn't like change that much, and I am also quite dependant (although I try to be independent) on certain people for emotional stability. I didn't discuss many of these with her as I myself hadn't come to appreciate them until recently. Anyway, we fell in love, me first, then her, until all of a sudden, we became the other halves of each other. I was in heaven; never before had I had this connection and bond with another person. It really was amazing. I woke up every day happy and wanting to see her, and although I know I didn't show it hard enough, she really was the best thing I had had in my life for a long time. Along the course of time, the honeymoon period began to wear off. She became very moody, and very critical of my behavior, (I never felt like I could get angry at things like when my car broke down because she felt like it was an attack on her) and then it began that usual state of relationships of ups and downs, and they weren't that bad in my eyes, maybe she felt they were worse. I think I stopped paying her as much attention as I had used to, and I know that I didn't try hard enough, but, we still had a lot of good times. She moved out of home, and spent a week with me when things were bad there, and it was fantastic, we didn't go out as much, I became lazy and spent too much time at the PC, and I think she got upset at the lack of attention. In November 05, I saw her in work with someone she had had sex with in the past. I was a little uneasy, but then I asked her about it and she said she had bumped into him on the way to the store (we work in a supermarket) by chance, and I accepted it, although I had doubts. I later read her MSN history with this guy, and found out that she had arranged to meet him and that she had lied to me. I instantly began to distrust her, and when confronted over this she said "I didn't want to upset you" why couldn't she have just told me the truth and I wouldn't have had this problem!? In January 06 out of the blue she told me that she wanted to break up with me. I didn't accept it, I felt that we hadn't been going through that bad a time, and I agreed to work on my behavior, so I did. I changed a lot of my patterns and gave her more attention. She accepted it for a while, but then it changed to me never being good enough. Later on she left school, and began to loose focus in her life. She is intelligent, did well in her standard grades, but didn't work hard enough at her highers and didn't do so well, I think she gave up with school and felt that she would work full time. I tried to encourage her to stay in education as I felt she could do better that way, but she wasn't interested, so she has begun looking for work (I tried to help her one day but she was seriously self defeatist, so I am assuming that she will be looking a long time like I had to when I had the same attitude when I was younger) In March 06 she broke up with me at work (half way through my shift!) stating she couldn't do it anymore. I was devastated, I felt like my heart had been deep fried. The pain was too intense. Then, after I managed to patch things back up a couple of weeks later by taking her away and really trying to make things better, I found out that she had slept with someone else from work the week after we broke up. I was devastated again, because she had lied to me stating that she hadn't been with anyone else, but, because I loved her so much, I forgave her that night. We broke up another week later. At a work night out a little later one of my co-workers who is a good person for advice who I had been talking to suggested to her that we should spend some time apart. She became very upset that I had shared our relationship with other people (I had confided in this person because I needed someone to talk to, I was a mess) and she approached me in the smoking area of the club and slapped me in the face without warning. We had a very public verbal fight and I walked away from her. She was very drunk so I asked a friend to put her in a taxi. (I gave the friend money for it) and I left with my friends and went onto a nightclub. I later met that friend in the nightclub who told me "I gave her to some guy" So in the end I had to run two miles to her house in fear of her being raped (she was VERY drunk) only to find her home already. Her mother gave me a lift home. The next day she still refused to apologies for slapping me. (It took two weeks for her to say sorry) I also lied to her about a friend I had who I had confided in advice for. I don't know why I did this, but I think I was scared as to the way she would react to her, and in the end it made her think that my friend and I were having a relationship behind her back (this was totally my fault, and I apologized many times but she wouldn't accept it) We made up again a few days later and then, we had another period of good times, I was happy again, I moved closer to her house, she complimented me on the change in my behavior and I felt amazing once more. Until another day, I became a little paranoid that she wasn't happy, she assured me that things were okay, and then the next day, she phoned me and said she wanted to be single and after I talked to her she admitted that she fancied someone else. I went to her and I explained that I wasn't myself (a week prior I had been diagnosed with AADD) and that I had medication to improve my situation. She took pity and we began to have another set of good times, with more compliments my way. She seemed okay, until I became unhappy with the way she was flirting with one of my friends (another friend commented that she was really out of order) and we had fight, I was stupid, I let her go without stopping her. By this time she had also quit work, as it was only part time and she needed full time, along with the fact that she didn't like other members of staff there. Then, for the last six weeks, we have been seeing each other only sparingly, we met up about three weeks ago, had a BBQ, had sex (oops!) and it thawed a little although we were not together anywhere near as much as we used to be. By now I had started to make new friends, including a very nice girl who she took an total dislike for and began to hate for no real reason, (I had to make my ex apologies to her for being * * * * *y) We both began to kiss other people, and I had a couple of one night stands, (I don't know what she's done) and I've since met a very nice ballerina, who I cant seem to get anything solid with because I'm too hung up over my ex! I also confronted her in the street asking her to tell me when she stopped loving me, as I felt the whole relationship was a lie, She claimed I harassed her by stopping her going anywhere, which I guess I did to some extent, although I didn't hit her. My ex has a new bf (who she met in a club and kissed directly in-front of me which screwed me up no end, but it was stupid of me to go to this nightclub and let her do that to me) and she tells me that she doesn't love me anymore, that she hates me because I messed up her head because I never gave her enough attention, and that she cant accept her new partners niceties (and apparently he is amazing, doing all the things I never did) and blames me for it, saying its stopping her going out with him. The worse thing above all, is, I still love her and just wish I could be with her. Please help me get over my ex! (I would appreciate where I went wrong aswell)