I need advice. I have decided to see what other people have to say other than my family and close friends because they are bias to what I feel. So here it goes.
My ex-girlfriend and I met 4+ years ago and started dating. She was from Toronto, CA and I lived in Mt. Pleasant, MI. I was attending college and decided to take a semester off just shortly after I met her. I moved home to Detroit and a month later she decided to move in with me and go to college in the states. We were in love, completely and utterly in love, and we had no fear about anything. After a few months of living together I decided to go back to college in Mt. Pleasant and told her that its something that I had to do. She came with and went to college there as well.
A semester in I felt overwhelmed with the relationship. She needed constant attention because she was in a foreign place with no friends. I got upset and angry and broke up with her. One reason is because a guy on her dorm room floor kept hanging out with her and it made me very jealous. Over time she came to find out that he liked her very much, and in the time we were broke up (only 3 weeks) that he had kissed her. Realizing all this and how upset it made me, we made up.
Things went well for a while after that for the most part. Everything was great until 2 months ago. My brother was getting engaged and it made her jealous because she had no wedding ring on her finger. At that point we were dating over 4.5 years. However I gave her a promise ring and I told her that I just wanted to wait until college was done for me. Aside from that problem there were other things in the relationship that she had. The arguments and fights grew feelings in her of doubt. I was trying my best to fix the problems with the relationship. But it wasn't working
Previous to the 2 months when everything went bad, I met up with an old friend from a previous college year and we started hanging out. We were all really good friends. My friend, who was a guy, hung out with us all the time. Aparently, around the time when we started having problems, she started telling him the problems we were having, consoling in him if you will. He was a friend, felt like my best friend, but secretively he had feelings for her.
I went home to Detroit to make extra money on the weekends. Mind you this is during the time when my ex and I were talking about problems. One weekend, my ex and my best friend hung out. They kissed over the weekend, just once (from what I'm told), and they both felt it was wrong. My ex broke up with me on Monday night because she felt that the relationship wasn't going anywhere. This is before I even knew about them kissing. Tuesday morning I apologized and told her I would do anything possible to make it work. Pleading my heart to her. She told me that she had been waiting to hear that for 2 years. But she felt guilty, she told me she had feelings for a guy in one of her classes. I told her choose him or me. She went to work that day and I logged on to her computer and found an email from her to my friend saying that "it felt so nice when you kissed me and held me, but I know its wrong because we both betrayed Brandon (me)."
I went irate, calling everyone I knew telling them about what happened. I screamed at her with rage in my heart. I felt so alone the days after, not eating, not sleeping, balling my eyes out. I just couldn't believe she could cheat on me.
I left that weekend to give her space to think about what she wanted to do, after all she still loved me, she just made a mistake(a big mistake). However, when I come back she tells me that she was hanging out with my ex-friend and they ended up kissing again, this time for 20 seconds she tells me. Betrayed and bewildered again I didn't know what to do. I left, and moved in with my brother in Detroit.
Over the time I have been here, she is still hanging out with him because they are "best friends". She has no feelings for him in that manner(so she says) but he has feelings for her. It has been tearing me up inside to think that it is over. Both of us have missed the other. We both talk about getting back together, but because our families know, and the problems that happened, I just don't know if it is possible to fix.
The biggest problem for me is that she is still hanging out with him. Once you cross the line by kissing someone, you can't be friends like that. She feels terrible about what she did, but she still hangs out with him. So what do I believe? What do I do?
My question is for anyone out there. People who have been and people who havn't been in my situation, please give me your opinion and tell me what you would do.
Broken Hearted, Brandon
