Tdean

Thank you guys. I can see what you're all saying, but I don't think talking to my friends is gonna help.

It's not my fault that she's insecure. She said that she would feel better if I made an effort to speak with my friends, and now you're saying that she doesn't actually feel that way. I can't help her if she won't tell me how she really feels.

So how am I supposed to know how she feels if she won't tell me? That's lying, too.

But my friends know how I feel about her. She wants them to tell her that it wasn't true.

She says that if it really wasn't true, I would have already spoken to them about it. That's her only problem, is that I haven't confronted my friends.

I think she wants me to accuse my friends of lying. I don't believe that they lied, I think it was a mistake. I love her and I would do anything for her, but I hate the fact that she still refuses to trust me. My friends like her, they would not try to break us up. I need to make her understand that the whole thing was just a misunderstanding.

Why would I lie here? That doesn't make any sense.

I care about how she feels, but I don't think she realizes that I am in this relationship too. It DOES matter how I feel, and I feel like no matter what I do, she will never trust me. I've never cheated on ANYONE, but how do I prove it?

She first heard this months ago, and it was within a few days after that when she found the text messages and caught me lying about being at my mom's. I have been nothing but honest with her since, and she says she wants to be with me. But I still don't feel like she trusts me. If she trusted me, why would she have believed my friends in the first place? I feel like, if she wants some big confrontation then SHE should talk to them and leave me out of it. I agree that it's not her fault, but it's not mine either. It's been a long time and I think she should have let it go by now. Seriously, I understand her side of it, but she either trusts me or she doesn't. She'll be happy & our relationship will be normal, then out of nowhere she'll say, "so Rich was at that party last nite, did you talk to him?" Just when i think we're past this, she brings it up again.

I'm just sick of her being depressed all the time. I told her why I lied about those things, but I guess it isn't enough for her. She says she's tired of feeling like one of those stupid girls that lets their boyfriends cheat, but i didn't cheat! I don't know why my friends said that, but I would hope she would believe me over them. I guess not. See, this is the most serious relationship she's ever been in. She was really cautious about love before, and I think she just doesn't understand that if you're gonna be with someone, you have to trust them. She's 24 years old- I love her, but I think she's acting like a teenager. Everytime we are at a party and these people who told her show up, she gets all sad and weird. She's always saying that i really need to talk to them and find out why they said it, but I didn't do anything wrong, so why can't I just hang out with my friends without having to deal with her drama?

I just think that lying about being at my mom's and lying about cheating are 2 different things. If she really trusted me, wouldn't she know that I would not lie about something so important? I'm just not sure what she expects of me. I tell her everything, I try to give her anything she needs. I know I was treating her badly, but I've changed that, and she says I treat her really well, but she just won't let this one thing go. She even told me that if I talked to my friend and came back to her with an explanation of the misunderstanding, then she might just think that I made that up too, so why should I even bother to talk to him if it isn't gonna help?

It was stupid to lie, but I thought it was gonna look really bad if I had an ex named Nicole, or I said I was eating with my mom but decided to go elsewhere. And I know now that that backfired, and I have apologized. As for my friends, it confuses me too. I don't think they would just make it up, I think it was a misunderstanding, but I don't know how it happened. The weird part is, I rarely see these people! They never answer their phone, and when I do see them it's a t a party with a bunch of other people and not the right time to bring it up. She thinks that because I've seen them and not confronted them, it's evidence that I did cheat. I just don't think she's looking at my side of the situation.

First off, I don't do the internet thing often, so I am sorry if this is a little bit long. But I am posting this on a couple different sites, cuz I really want some advice. I moved in with my girlfriend after we'd been together about a year, and it hurt our relationship. things got to a breaking point after several months, at which point I thought we'd worked everything out. One thing she was worried about was she thought I was cheating. She said I'd been acting like it- ignoring her and going out all the time without her, cancelling plans when she wanted to come along, and I admit it looked bad. But I told her it wasn't true, and she believed me, I think. Then a couple weeks later, one of my old friends and his girlfriend told her that I had another girlfriend named Nicole, and that I brought other girls to their house all the time to fool around. To make matters worse, she found a text message that I'd sent to my ex, whose name is Nicole, after I'd told her that I didn't even know anyone named Nicole. There was also an instance where I said I was at my mom's but I wasn't, and she found out. This was a few months ago, and she says she believes me, but sometimes I can see in her eyes that she still wonders what I'm doing. Fact is, I've never cheated on her! I don't know why my friends would say that. She also says that she doesn't like who she's become since this happened, and I understand. She never used to be jealous or look thru my stuff, and I can just see the sadness in her eyes when I leave, like I know she's gonna be wondering where I really am. I am wondering how I can fix this, because I love her dearly, and I am afraid she is gonna leave me when our lease is up next month. I also want to see her happy again- I made things worse about a month ago, when I tried to just break up with her cuz I was tired of not being trusted, and now I know that she has no real confidence in this relationship. I want to earn her trust again, but I don't know how.