after a long break up and many ups and downs i have finally gotten back with my hs girlfriend, who is the only person who i have really cared about and loved through out my life. after thousands of bad times good time, and the whole nine yards, we ran into each other at a club and began to talk and now are back together. it has been about3 months. when i first get back with her everyhintg seems ot be the best it could be the feelings of jeliousl trust, and all that kind of stuff is put aside and i am jsut over whelmed ot be back with her and happy that i have someone who cares about me, and loves me
but slowly but surly everything has changed, it seems as more time goes by the more and more i dont trust this grl. we were together for two years in our last year of hs and first year of college. and we were on and off for the entire time since then it is now my third year of college and were back at it.
for some reason unknown to myself i cannot seem to trust this girl, she has very strict parents and is often home before me and is always on time and around when i need her to be. but i have this obssession with the fact that she is lying and deciveing me almost all the time. i thought that has time passed the relationship would get better and trust would be assummed and unspoken but it is rather the opposite. i cannot believe anything that she tells me i am constanlty looking for ways ot catch her in a lie and even check her phone bill almost daily to see who she talks to and when they call(funny because she only has 3 or four people who call her)
it is really starting to make me very frusterated and very annoyed at the fact that i cannot be easy going and relaxed and jsut believe what my beautiful gf is saying i do not think that she is or has cheated on me since weve been back together and i truly think that she really loves me and i dont believe she would do something to hurt me like that..the problem is, is that i want to believe it but i just cant let myself
so at this point i am trying to figure out whether it is me myself who is insecure and jelious or maybe it is her because of how she expresses herself and the past that me and her have, or is i am jsut crazy and controlling and NEED to know every move that she makes and who shes with and where she is
i feel like after all we have been through and the fact we have both been with other people over the years, shows that we love each other enough ot try and make it work again even after so many issues and so much time has passed....im really onfused and getting very fed up on a day to day basis with this "struggle" i am going through and i feel it is unfair to her because she doen not like ot explin her self all the time and to have to put up with such an " * * * * * * *, untrusting bf"
so any one with any good advice or similar situations experiences or feelings help me out, cause this type of situation and relationship is driving me out of my mind thnks M.C
