ruined

I am shy to admit this, but...once we found out we were pregnant, we of course planned on getting married (we had talked about it previously anyway). We are on state assistance though and if we were to get married we would no longer have Medical on the baby. The baby comes first, so...until we can afford it, this is how we stay. I am currently looking for work that wouldnt make us all miserable (work from home type stuff, nannying, even babysitting) because we just need more income. But now the problem is I am not sure I want to jump into marriage anymore. I've told him from the beginning we will need counseling before getting married, but i'm not sure how much it's going to help at this point-damage has been done. Ya know, its not like he beats me, or starves me, or neglects me completely. We were madly in love at one time, but thats faded a bit. I've been in worse relationships, but now there is a baby to consider. I just want things to be better for all of us, especially the little one.

Believe me-I have BEGGED for his help. He thinks im maybe being lazy? I dont think he understands what i do all day, every day. I've told him before that I dont just sit around with the baby all day and play games! Oh and the baby mostly sleeps through the night now, she only wakes up for one feeding at 3...for the first three months of her life I was pumping into bottles, because of pain...but then I got so frustrated because it took up so much of my time to pump AND still have to warm up bottles and feed her-I NEVER got any sleep! Now though, its really hard to give her a bottle, she just gets upset-but we're working on it...... These are just two of many issues we are having lately, mostly all stemmed from the first because i am so worn out. I am starting to hold a grudge, and i somehow think that HE thinks i'm just being a baby myself sigh............... THankyou both for your advice, sometimes it just feels good to vent...I think we are going to need to seek counseling, if it doesnt work out im sure you'll hear back from me lol! Thanks again!

I am a stay-at-home mom of my first child (she is almost seven months now), and I feel like my fiance isn't helping out enough with the baby and around the house. Our baby is kind of "needy"-she doesnt like to be put down for too long. I usually dont even have time to shower every day. Yet I still cook dinners (all while watching the baby usually), but the dishes stack up until I have time to wash them, and the laundry stays scattered dirty all over the house until I have time to gather them. I dont ask much from my fiance-we have a dog that he is supposed to walk (and I walk him while he is at work usually) and he is supposed to take the garbage out back to the dumpster. When I was pregnant, we agreed that I would stay home with the baby and he would be the "moneymaker"-if you could call him that. But i've begged him for help because I feel like I am drowning! She is seven months old and he has never even ONCE gotten up with her in the middle of the night or in the morning, he has never fed her in her highchair, and never bathes her, or does her laundry. He barely even plays with her! He sleeps 10 hours a night, goes to work five days a week, and he leaves me home alone with her to go hang out with friends more nights than not...and even if we are sitting alone i can barely get him to hold her for more than five minutes. And then he wonders why we dont have sex! Im too damn tired usually, and so frustrated i just want to go to sleep! Is this normal?? He never had a real dad so i wonder if maybe he just doenst know what the hell he is supposed to do?? Or am I wrong?? So that was issue number one. Yeah. Issue number 2: He still hangs out with his ex girlfriends/people he has slept with! In the beginning there was one ex girlfriend who he used to go to breakfast with-i was fine with that, but when they wanted to go see a movie together while i was at work, i said that was crossing the line. Now an old f***buddy of his comes around, and recently asked him to go to a concert with her...he said i was invited, like that would make it okay, but theres no way i could go because of the baby...and it wouldnt be so bad-except that we really dont have sex that much anymore, and i just dont trust men in general (i know, i've got issues, im not in denial)...maybe if we were having sex like we used to just about every day-i wouldnt feel that he would cheat. But either way i think it is just plain disrespectful, and insensitive. So is THIS normal?? Or am i wrong?? I've never asked for advice online before, so please, HELP ME! Be brutally honest.