Cestlavie1607307414

As for the friend, I don't think he was explicitly suggesting at that point that my ex get with him, but I'm sure he had that somewhere in the back of his mind. My ex probably got involved with him because she has a tendency to want to help people. He was going through a difficult time in his life, they were talking for hours a night due to his paying for her phone bill, and boom, a relationship blossomed. It happens. As for her "telling me what I want to hear", I'm fairly certain that this is false as well. There's a certain thing in someone's voice that tells you whether or not they're being sincere, and given the context of when she said this, I have few doubts that she was being sincere. I won't elaborate more than that because I don't want to get way too specific here unless absolutely necessary. When I wrote this last night, I was extremely tired and slightly hysterical, so I'm sure there are a number of mistypes and grammatical errors that could lead to multiple interpretations of certain things. Let me know if any of you need clarification on any of this. Basically, my inability to find closure and move on is based on two points. First, when she broke up with me, she gave absolutely no reason for doing so. She just said that she couldn't have a boyfriend at that time. She gradually pushed me away and began to mistrust me for what seems like no reason. I've spoken to a couple of her other friends about this, and apparently she has had a tendency to do this all of her life. She has never had a completely stable friendship/relationship for more than a couple of years. I refuse to just accept a break-up in a relationship of this magnitude because of an explanation this fickle. She didn't break up with me because she didn't love me anymore. She didn't break up with me because I'm a disgustingly disagreeable person. She just...broke up with me. Second, she expresses a desire to remain friends with me, and obviously I feel the same for her since I want the chance to be with her again in the future. I'm pretty sure this is a problem for about 90% of break-ups out there, and the advice of basically everyone I've spoken to would be, "Just let go, dude. It never works. Let go of her completely and move on." I don't really have a way to justify myself on this one. I'm essentially trying to remain friends with her because I know that she in inherently a good person and means the best for everyone involved. Also, I want to maintain a friendship with her because I still feel that there is a potential for us to get back together. I've done plenty of analyzing the situation in its entirety. I think I have a good grasp on why what has happened has happened. I'm not sure why she broke up with me. We failed to get back together because at that point we were still having a number of arguments, mostly over extremely fickle issues. She got with my friend because it makes her happy to help people and it makes people happy to have someone else. I guess the main thing that drives me crazy is that I have no idea why she broke up with me. It drives me insane. I've treated her essentially the same way since we got together ten months ago: with love, care, concern, etc.. I was a good boyfriend. It just seems like a succession of extremely inopportune events that lead to something that wasn't really supposed to happen. I'm fairly certain that if my old friend (who I'm no longer speaking with, btw) were erased from existence, my ex and I wouldn't have much trouble getting back to where we were before. There's not a whole lot I can do since I can't talk to her on the phone. My friend monitors her phone bill and puts close to $40/month onto her account. He flips out whenever she uses this money to talk to me. I won't lie; I know my ex has some emotional issues to deal with. But she is still the sweetest girl I have ever met, and I would do anything to be with her again. No one has made me feel as she has. I'm sure she still has the feelings within her to get things back on track, but with each day, a new obstacle is placed between us, it seems like. In her own words, she "paints over her own mistakes." The mistake in this situation being breaking up with me, and the paint being getting with my buddy. If any of you has any advice, remotely similar situations, consolation, or anything you'd like to contribute, I'd very much like to hear it. I'm not exactly sure what I should do at this point. BTW, sorry for being long-winded.

My ex-girlfriend and I began our relationship eleven months ago. I actually met her nearly three years ago, and we had always had feelings for each other, but given how far we lived from each other (she lives nearly a thousand miles away from me), we never seriously considered having a long-term relationship until fairly recently. We only began considering a serious relationship when it became more feasible for one to exist in the long-term. To put things more specifically, I just recently turned 18, and she is about a year younger than me. I don't think this is quite sufficient background information just yet. My ex-girlfriend had extremely strict parents. They simply did not allow her to have a boyfriend, especially a long-distance boyfriend, so they simply knew nothing of me. Obviously, this means that I couldn't talk to her while she was in the presense of her parents. This was perhaps why we became as close to each other as we did: we didn't get to speak to each other as frequently as most couples do. Regardless, the fact that we could rarely speak to each other has a large part in the current situation, and I think it will become clearer why as you continue to read. As I said, we began our relationship ten months ago. Everything seemed flawless for the first few months. I met her in person back in December, and things between us skyrocketed to probably the highest level they have ever been thus far. Upon my going back home, one of her ex-boyfriends relentlessly nagged her to get back together with him. One of my friends who she had been talking to apparently tried to convince her to break up with me by saying various lies about me and generally trying to interfere with things. Luckily, she did end up making the right decision and ended up saying with me. Things seemed fairly steady between the two of us until late March, when she told me quite simply that she could not be with me anymore. She said that she was going through a lot and that she could not deal with having a boyfriend at that moment. I agreed to be nothing more than a friend for the time after that. However, we were much more than friends. We treated each other exactly as we had before the break-up. She told me that she loves me, we talked about the prospective future we would have together, but for some reason she was afraid of having me officially entitled as her boyfriend. To this day, I'm not completely sure why. As I said, we continuously told each other that we loved each other and occasionally discussed the future we had. But she was not my girlfriend, and this was something I required. I wanted her to be completely committed to me. I didn't ever want to lose her. And I told her this. I asked her if she was ready to "officially" restart our relationship, and we got back together and broke back up on a couple occasions. In general, I'd say she just lost trust in me and kept pushing me away. To this day, she has never been able to explain why. I've asked her why she broke up with me and she is unable to explain herself. The arguments that began erupting between us were so inexplicable. They seemed to be more stemming from the distance she was putting between the two of us than our actual incompatibilities. Indeed, we had very little conflict until she spontaneously broke up with me. Well, here's the kicker. We never got back together for more than a week. About a month and a half ago, she began seeing the friend I discussed above, the one who had suggested that she break up with me back in January. Now, I've tried to handle the situation as objectively and altruistically as possible. I've asked myself, "What is best for everyone involved in the situation?" Despite the disrespectful way my old friend treated me, I still care about him. His father is having severe medical problems and his family is basically falling apart at the moment. For this reason, I never suggested to her that she break up with him. She is the only person he has in her life at the moment. But in all honesty, he is completely tearing apart any possibility of me and my ex-girlfriend reattaining a successful relationship. My ex-girlfriend is bound to a certain phone plan by her parents, so she can only talk a certain amount per month. My friend has been putting money onto her account so that she can talk to her more. Obviously, when you have two opposing sides and you talk to one more than the other, you are going to tend to side with that one. My friend went on a guilt trip when my ex-girlfriend spent more time talking to me on the phone than on him. Now she almost exclusively uses her phone minutes on him. He can spend the graduation money that he received freely. I have to spend it on my family because we're currently in a financial crisis at the moment. He has essentially purchased her. I love this girl more than anything I've ever had in my life. I want her back so badly. I know she has some feelings for me as well. The last time she told me that she loves me was actually three weeks ago while she was dating him. We still have so much potential. It just seems like something happened that wasn't supposed to happen at all. I want to do the right thing. I want her back. I'm desperate enough to come to some random forum on the internet. Any advice?