Jackrider

Hey SuperDave, I am eagerly awaiting ur reply..plzz give in ur expert comments to my thing as well.. Jackrider

SuperDave you know something you are a GOD gift to poor souls like us.The way you have understood the situation and analysed it is pure piece of mastery,you have just captured whatever was going through my mind. Now let me explain the things you have pointed out here. The reason for my repeating my moves was that I wanted to prove to her that I haven't come back to play with her feelings or something and this time I am absolutely serious.I felt that she would be uncertain what my intentions could be as she had been hurt before by me.So just to drive home that point I called her a few times and finally went all the way to meet her.I felt at least after this there would be no doubt in her mind whether I love her or not. The reason I went for her despite knowing she was going around with someone is that I knew she had strong feelings for me and they wouldn't die down so soon.Her saying No NO repeatedly was also expected as I wouldn't have expected anyone with self respect to say YES immediately,so I kept on pursuing.The problem is the presense of this man in her life though I would like to tell you that when I met her she repeatedly told me that she is committed to him and at the same time said that she has been thinking about the entire thing since I have reentered the scene(why would she rethink if she were committed and very happy in that relationship??).I felt that she was saying lots of contradictory things which perhaps conveys that she was confused.After coming back from her city I had decided that I had done enough to prove my love and if she loves me as well she would come on her own so i didn't try to contact her for a few days.But when I did try to call her I realized she had changed her phone number.I can get her number easily(and she knows it as well) but didn't want to stoop down to such low levels.Now I haven't communicated with her(100% NC) for a month.Also she had mentioned when we talked that her friends said lots of bad things about me but she always felt I was a good man and she still respected me as a person.Please tell me if it would be possible to get her back.Could her old feelings rekindle or has she completely moved on me??(I know I was the first person she fell in love with)…The only thing that could help me is a feeling in her that this is the man I loved and he left me for some time and now he is back and has proved his loyalty,but the problem is the presense of this guy as well. As far as I m concerned after being in hell for quite some time I have started to improve,especially after reading this link.I have hit the gym and been working out really hard to look my best.And to answer your most important question I did ask this to myself and the answer I got is I love her and would want to spend the rest of my life with her,given the option. So you said I cant get her back like this but I explained the reason to do all this was just to prove my commitment to her and not to act like a jerk.Now what do you think can get her back or is it possible at all given the situation?? I would go by whatever you say. Jackrider

Hi SuperDave, I did write a reply to your post and was waiting for ur comments...may be u didnt see it..im posting it again..plzz read and guide....

SuperDave you know something you are a GOD gift to poor souls like us.The way you have understood the situation and analysed it is pure piece of mastery,you have just captured whatever was going through my mind. Now let me explain the things you have pointed out here. The reason for my repeating my moves was that I wanted to prove to her that I haven't come back to play with her feelings or something and this time I am absolutely serious.I felt that she would be uncertain what my intentions could be as she had been hurt before by me.So just to drive home that point I called her a few times and finally went all the way to meet her.I felt at least after this there would be no doubt in her mind whether I love her or not. The reason I went for her despite knowing she was going around with someone is that I knew she had strong feelings for me and they wouldn't die down so soon.Her saying No NO repeatedly was also expected as I wouldn't have expected anyone with self respect to say YES immediately,so I kept on pursuing.The problem is the presense of this man in her life though I would like to tell you that when I met her she repeatedly told me that she is committed to him and at the same time said that she has been thinking about the entire thing since I have reentered the scene(why would she rethink if she were committed and very happy in that relationship??).I felt that she was saying lots of contradictory things which perhaps conveys that she was confused.After coming back from her city I had decided that I had done enough to prove my love and if she loves me as well she would come on her own so i didn't try to contact her for a few days.But when I did try to call her I realized she had changed her phone number.I can get her number easily(and she knows it as well) but didn't want to stoop down to such low levels.Now I haven't communicated with her(100% NC) for a month.Also she had mentioned when we talked that her friends said lots of bad things about me but she always felt I was a good man and she still respected me as a person.Please tell me if it would be possible to get her back.Could her old feelings rekindle or has she completely moved on me??(I know I was the first person she fell in love with)…The only thing that could help me is a feeling in her that this is the man I loved and he left me for some time and now he is back and has proved his loyalty,but the problem is the presense of this guy as well. As far as I m concerned after being in hell for quite some time I have started to improve,especially after reading this link.I have hit the gym and been working out really hard to look my best.And to answer your most important question I did ask this to myself and the answer I got is I love her and would want to spend the rest of my life with her,given the option. So you said I cant get her back like this but I explained the reason to do all this was just to prove my commitment to her and not to act like a jerk.Now what do you think can get her back or is it possible at all given the situation?? I would go by whatever you say.

Hi There, I think SuperDave,sadk and a few others are online right now.Could you guys please respond to my query??

Thanks sadk for replying..well you are right that i never felt love for her initially but now after being away from her i realised that i miss her in my life.Thats why took the decision of trying to persuade her back.Infact when i went to her city to meet i told her that i would want to marry her,so i do having feelings for sure.But now situation has changed as she is going around with a guy who had been trying on her for quite some time,infact she used to tell me about it when we were together.Given what i have narratted in my earlier post do you guys feel i can still get her back with NC or otherwise or it seems all over for me as far as she is concerned.Would appreciate your thoughts on this.Also would once again request the BIG BOSS SuperDave to put in his thoughts as well,it would go a long way in helping me. Friends i seriously need help...... Jack

It all started an year ago(March,2005) when I went to take a class for the entrance exams she( she is a 23 yr old girl,6 yrs younger to me and never been in a relationship before) was preparing for.I took a couple of classes only and she took my contact details and she started being in touch through Emails,mainly clarifying doubts about the exams she was appearing for.After a few months I shared my phone number with her and we started talking regularly and it reached a stage wherein we were talking almost everyday for hours.I got a feeling that she was interested in me but I always tried to discourage by saying that we can not marry and all,the reason was that I never thought I had strong feelings for her though I never told her directly. Then after around 6-7 months of our being in touch(December,2005) she proposed me for marriage.I was shocked and couldn't say a Yes or a No to her and instead started ignoring her.She used to call so many times and on one pretext or the other I started to ignore her.After a few days she also stopped and we didn't interact till end of March,2006 when I called her again.After talking normally for 6-7 minutes she again started talking of the past saying don't you realize what happened and stuff and I said why do you have to talk this all the time.Then she disconnected the phone and we didn't speak for another 1 month.Now a month later I felt I was missing her and wanted to get in touch with her. I called her and but she disconnected the call 5-6 times.Next day when I called she picked up saying she was going around with someone and she didn't want to talk to me.She reminded me each and every incident when I treated her badly and said she was committed to this guy.After 20 min she got angry with something and again disconnected the call.After a few days I sent her a detailed Email explaining the problems because of which I couldn't say yes to her proposal and I requested her to come back.She sent a quick reply saying that nothing can happen between us now and told me to move on in life.Also she told me to never contact her in future.But I mustered courage and called her 2 days later from a different number.I feared she would disconnect hearing my voice but luckily didn't.I spoke for 20 minutes reasoning what went wrong and also broke down while talking.She heard for 20 min without saying a word and then said nothing can happen now and when I asked why then she said because now she doesn't it.Then I asked her why don't you want it now and there was a long silence from her side and then she disconnected. She was staying 2000 Km away from my place and I decided to fly down to get her back.I surprised her by going straight to her office reception.She behaved strangely during the 2 hours we chatted.One moment she would be really furious and angry and the next she would be calm and normal.She repeated many times that nothing can happen now as she is committed to this guy and also told how this guy listens to her problems and respects her,which she said I didn't do enough.She told me you know what kind of a person I am and I can never go back on my word.Also she said if you had sent an Email that you were in problems or we had continued talking something could have happened.For a brief moment she had tears in her eyes as well.She said she is a very stubborn girl and when I said she needs to change herself she again got angry and dashed back towards her office.During this meeting She had told me not to contact her again but 2 days later which was my last day in that city I called her again and requested her to meet one last time.She refused initially but agreed when I requested.But an hour later sent a message saying she cant come and when I tried to talk she disconnected the phone and then switched it off.I came back and 3 days later called her that I respected her decision and will not force her now for anything.I thought she would be surprised but she spoke normally and told me not to change my decision now.I had thought that I would try to be her friend and would persuade her to change her decision as I felt that she loved me so much and feelings don't die down so soon and perhaps she could only angry at me for the way I treated her.But recently when I tried to call her again I realized she had changed her phone number which I guess she did just to send out a statement that I shouldn't call her.I think it's a statement as she knows I can get her number easily from sources.What should I do and do you feel I stand any chance in this case.I last spoke to her a month back. PLZZ ADVICE.

Hi SuperDave..been looking at this thread for a few days now and been taking lots of inspiration from the various views.Would request to hear out me as well and comment on the situation..