ijustcantbelieveit

Yeah, you're probably right. And yes, you are right about me bein more afraid of what her answer would be. You see.. I have strict beliefs about fidelity. I believe that fantasizin about another guy is an infidelity, even though obviously physical cheatin is much worse. thereforeeee, things like these do disturb me, and I should follow your advice about lettin this happen. I know my girl has a very strong will power - she had told me it's completely against her morals and values to ever cheat on me, but havin a mindset about "bein with others" seems just as hurtful to me. I gotta get it outta her. But if her answer is a "yes, I would", what should I do? I honestly don't know how I would react. It would drive me off the wall. That's like sayin "if I let you make out with another guy, would you actually do it?" and she says "yes". Although my example is somewhat extreme, I don't know how I will handle it knowin if she would actually be willin to do it. I'm incredibly confused right now.. I don't ever want to lose her or break up with her, I'd be losin too much. Her friends tell her they'd kill her if she ever broke up with me (for some kinda stupid reason) or ever did somethin unfaithful, and I am just very confused about how to react incase I have to deal with the worst case scenario (which would be her sayin "yes, I would date other guys if you let me").

Hi. I have been with my girl for almost 2 years now. She was my best friend before I became her boyfriend, and she still is my best friend. We also share the love and passion for many similar interests and hobbies, and basically, there is an extraordinarily tight bond between me and her. All her friends (as well as my friends) say me and her seem so mushy, and they've never seen a couple as close as us. But here's the thing.. We don't really fight much; whenever we do, it usually gets cleared up and resolved pretty quickly. But for the past few months, she hasn't been very happy to people in general. She has been losin a lot of friends she once had, and has been ventin her anger at people more often. She is younger than me, and not 100% mature, as she is still in her middle adolescent years, and I am about 3 years older than her. As intelligent as she is, she still doesn't know how to hold back negative feelins sometimes. Now, one problem is, I have been occasionaly been a target for her ventin, but she will often regret it after. I do not mind this, actually, so I guess it's not really a problem, since I understand her situation (she had a very very bad past). But, due to her bein more open, in one of our "arguments", she had told me that once she was questionin about us bein right for each other, and she said she always wanted to date other people to see what life would've been like. Now, eventually, the argument went away, and things seemed to clear up about the fight, and she even told me she never meant to question about us bein right for each other, and she tells me she knows we're right for each other. But then, this is where it becomes strange.. I had asked her about the thing she said about datin other people. I asked her if she said that just because she was angry, or if she really truly does feel that way. unfortunately, and to my surprise and horror, she said yes, she does feel that way, but she can change those feelins. I was kinda glad that she admitted that to me and was honest enough to tell me, but I am kinda upset to know she would feel that way. Even though she tells me she can change that whole mindset for me, it is somewhat heartbreakin to know that she could ever have interest in wantin to date other people, when before she had always been tellin me how she could never fall for anyone else, how she knows I'm the one, and how she just loves bein with me so much. Also, several months ago, a friend of hers was datin other guys to see if she really had found the right person. My girl said that even though she won't hate on her, she could never do that to me. But.. now what she said basically contradicts all that. She had told me she would've liked to do that. I don't get it.. why would she even think that way? I mean.. I'm glad she's tellin me she's gonna change that mindset for me, but it seems hurtful enough that she could ever really think that after all she's told me. Why would she say that, and what should I do..? I don't know what to think right now.. Also, I am wonderin what she would say if I said to her "you know about that datin other people thing? What if I said yes, go ahead and date others. Would you actually do so?", but I am afraid of askin her such, as it might upset her greatly. Oh, incase you want to know about how she has been treatin me lately, she is still very sweet, kind and lovin in general. She often smiles around me, and I can still make her happy, and she often tells me "I love you" and such. But.. I still can't get that thing outta my mind... knowin that she could've ever desired such a thing.. especially after all we've gone through, how close we've become, and after all she's told me. She really clings to me and shows me a lot of tender love and incredible affection, but it's so.. hypocritical almost, for her to ever had possessed such desires. I would never break up with her over somethin like this, and like I've said before, I am glad she's willin to erase that from her, but it is very unsettlin to acknowledge that she was once thinkin that way. It's kinda makin me feel very down.. depressed almost, and self-esteem at a low.