Upsetwifeofone

I feel a lot more aroused when the hag is in town, but wouldn't "do" anything, I think abstinance makes the yearning stronger and I let hubby have all my pent up aggression when I am free lol.

Communication

Relaxation

Enjoyment

Equality

Give it a go if you are comfortable

Imagination

Have a laugh if things don't quite "go right"

Hi sweetheart!

I conceived this baby three weeks after my miscarriage in November so it is entirely possible.

Hope that helps xxxx

Last year I was at fault for some of our problems...but I worked on myself and on us...this time I have no regrets. I just need the courage and strength to move on.

Hunnie,please don't look to yourself at causing any fault. Generally, the betrayed spousewill look for blips that could have set this wheel in motion, and rarely is it a factor.

My husband said there was nothing I could have done different, he admits to stepping on the wrong path and as he said, the grass may look greener but you still got to mow it.

And I will be the first to admit that I am forgetting about this unborn child, already forgetting to take care of it....And That IS NOT A GOOD SIGN. I have to snap out of it and heal and fix myself for the future. This baby is innocent in all of this and I should remember to take care of me, because this little person is depending on me.

I found myself in the exact same boat, I actually resented her for a very short while, and I hate myself for that, we are blessed to be having this gorgeous baby but my over emotion was greater and I thought that I had made him look elsewhere because of her, then the truth was he had been speaking to th OW before we conceived. They are depending on us, but true enough we need to self heal in order to give them the best.

Good luck with counselling, I'm finding it a great help and have been able to approach my husband with my feelings.

God Bless you mom2be and your sweet baby-boo xxxxxx

I don't agree at all. My husband was over the moon that his first child was a girl, just as happy with the four boys we had, then the next three girls. Now I'm pregnant with our last daughter and he is over the moon again, we will have an equal balance of five boy sand five girls (eldest child is from my ex relationship)

Our daughter is working with her father in his horticultural business and does as much hard graft as him, so equal opportunities for different sexes!

Hi and sorry you are in this situation.

Cutting is my release to bad situation, I didn't cut for 17 years and startedagain recently, the difference is that I am now a mom to 9 children and expecting our 10th in August.

I'm in counselling now and finding it a great release so I highly recommend talking to someone.

I hope you find the help you deserve xxx

Mom2be, as I read your post it was like I was reading about myself......pregnant with a husband involved in an emotional affair (as I don't know whether they have met/slept together), EXACTLY where you are other than my husband didn't work with "her".

I called, text her, have been hunting the down every day since April. I've paid for private information and know exactly who she is now........now I'm seeking the strength to confront her.

Sweetheart, I'm staying with my hubby because I know he is remorseful, I see it in his eyes every day that I crumble and each counselling appointment I go to. PLEASE, don't end up like me, permanently hunting for information and reasons, think of that sweet child you are carrying, it is true, the stress affects the baby, it's what I try to remember every day as my daughter kicks inside me.

You will pull through hunnie, we both will xxxx

Hmmmmmmm, if hubby asked that of me I'd ask him to wait until our geriatric years love.

Nowt stranger than folk but whatever floats 'ya boat

Well at certain times of the month the cervix with be low and closed, mainly before and after ovulation so it is extremely possible to reach it. As part of NFP, cervical position is part of the charting process and many women are able to check themselves.

I asked my husband what he could feel and he was able to describe the "doghnut" shape so it's possible. If your boyfriend is hitting this it does hurt a little, but shouldn't be overly painful. Just discretely ask him to go a little gentler

Hi Spugly and congratulations starting your journey to parenthood!

Well to be honest the best thing to remember is just take things enjoyably, try not to stress about "this being the month". The more you focus on hitting the target the longer it seems to take.

Don't use the regimental routines that are temperature taking, charting and revolving doing the deed around being sucessful.

Age isn't really that much of a problem, you're both still in your prime, I'm 35 and expecting a girl with no known problems, my hubs is the same age but men are different to women.

One thing I would suggest is perhaps your wife starts now with preparing with folic acid and omega 3 oils as these prove extremely beneficial to a developing embryo, but other than that, go for it and enjoy.

Hope that helps and good luck!

Both!!!!!!!

There are different types of orgasm, clitoral, vaginal are two and depending on what spot your hitting at the time, to how speedily you can "do it again".

I find clitoral stimulation the wildest and wettest to be perfectly blunt. The best body euphoric orgasms are from there and hubby has got it to a tee.

Not all woman multiple orgasm, something like 13%, but hell, I waited 14 years to get as highly strung as I am today

I was taught to be able to orgasm with the power of thought and self love, without touching of any kind, either myself or my husband.......now those are one off's but PURE HEAVEN, for both of us.

Hey Rozi and well done with your strength.

Hunnie, are you depressive by nature? Sometimes including a high oat content in your diet aids with the production of the necessary chemicals missing from brain that cause depression.

I use St John's Wort and oats as I suffer with depression and must confess it does work.

Keep that strength up sweetheart!

Oh Blured, I'm a size 14 pre-pregnant size, full of the "trophies" child bearing and used to be so paranoid about myself it was untrue. I spent the first 14 years of my marriage hiding behind the light's off ritual, even when I was a size 8 bag of bones at the beginning.

I learned that confidence starts with learning to love yourself for who you are. Now I must be at the most unnatractive stage of my journey through motherhood, heavily pregnant at 31 weeks, excess baby weight with more "trophies" (stretch marks) but with a self built confidence that hubby loves. God I sound grotesque lol, but If we want it we have it, I've thrown all insecurities to the wind and I'll get it all off whenever the need takes hold.

Learn to think of yourself as a beautiful creation, there's no such thing as perfect!

Women can contract their vagina's, contraction can be excercised with kegel excercises. I've seen women open water bottles, shoot baloons, smoke and the squirting in movies is done the same way. Them can also clamp down quite hard.

 

That's true nottoogreen, I think it add's to DH's pleasure just doing it as part of the fun , the kegel exercise that is, if I shot a balloon orstarted blowing smoke rings I think he'd freak lol!

 

Anyone heard of more than a mouthfull is a waste here??????? SHEESH!

Well the choice is yours but I would be prepared, you can NEVER take for granted that this "secret" will stay hushed. IF your husband is unliked then that in itself poses a threat.

TAKE OFF YOUR ROSE-TINTED GLASSES FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!

You seem so blaze about this that I truly wonder whether you are being totally genuine or just living in cloud cuckoo land, speaking as a betrayed spouse I think you are being toooooo complacent about the whole thing.

HOW can you love this man if you base your future on deceit?

I think you are fooling yourself........that's all I have to say on this thread as I just can't comprehend your thinking!

It would be unlikely but then not impossible. The best environment for sperm to live in the female tract is with wet cervical fluid, thick mucus inhibits sperm movement, sorry Carolineg, take it from a NFP cycler. Eggwhite stretchy wet fluid is the key for survival.

Anyhow, depending on where she was in her cycle, cervical position and so forth, plus the fact that if any sperm had gone in, and that they hadn't been ejaculated in (giving them the "boost" that they need to make it through the vagina, through the cervix and into the womb) the chances are slim!

Sorry for the biology lesson and Good Luck!

Ok just my theory but "Does size really matter?", it's not how big it is it's what you do with it that counts.

Anyho, my hubby is conscious about himself (not that he has anything to be conscious about I can tell you.) but his motto is "It's big enough to fill a pram 10 times over" lol.

Ok, well call me a feak but I have no problems whatsoever with multiples and still feeling alive, being heavily pregnant too makes it more enjoyable lol.

Frequency of you encounters with your lover: Daily

Your success rate of reaching orgasm: Every time and at least 4

How fatigued you are after an orgasm. Eg, could get up right away, like to nap, almost can't move.: Pause momentarily to catch a breath but gung-ho to carry on.

Describe your feeling during the orgasm: Total Euphoria from head to toe.

Describe your feeling after the orgasm: Sexual frustration as I would keep on going.

Describe your feeling when you fail to orgasm: When I used to fail I felt disappointed for hubby and a little failed in myself.

Is your lover understanding and caring your feelings? Absolutely, he hates me pushing myself too hard

Have you ever passed out - unconscious for more than 10 seconds or so? No, never

**EDITEDTO SAY**

Looking at this I can see why my hubby say's I'm high maintenance

I agree with nottoogreen You can't bring kids into the mix until this is resolved, I'm sorry but you are living a daily timebomb. This will come out, these secrets always do, even if 10 years down the line. Then you could have children and this will be a whole lot worse.

If life with your husband is violent the that screams danger, imagine the compounded anger when he does find out.

I'm sorry, but I feel you are in a scary circumstance as it is and 6 months of trying hard at your marriage doesn't mean it's staying this good forever, especially with this hanging over your neck!

I agree with the past poster. Go with the flow, just be comfortable and don't have huge expectations!

Toys are good especially a clit stimulator, you can use it on the tip of the man too, drives my man wild lol.

Entertaining each other with a purely hands off rule (on each other that is).

Ice is soooooooooooo good.

Flavoured substances are a good thing too.

Just make it fun, have a laugh and only try what you feel comfortable doing!

Ok, so there are several points to be picked up on, and most seem to reflect your own self worth/confidence. Not that there is anything that turns this around into not cheating I'm afraid

He asked for the massage, he asked me to massage his legs and HE put my hand on his balls with his boxers still on. I kept taking them away. The he was the one that took his boxers off. He made this happen.

Unfortunately, you both had a part in this, he didn't force you, you partook in the event, had it been forceful you would admit it to your husband.

I did it because I have had sexual feeling for him since the day we became friends. I've known him for 10 years but wasn't a friend till 2 years ago when he was 17

So you were attracted to this guy?

My husband was my first boyfriend and first kiss, first everything. I'd never been with another and I felt that I was missing out. That's why I didn't pull away. I needed it to feel happy within myself, satisified with life. Now I do and I don't feel guilty.

You are admitting that you didn't pull away because you needed to prove to yourself you were attractive to other guy's. This makes you a cheater because you couldn't confine yourself with the man you gave your life virginity to and took your vow's to. You don't feel guilty? That in itself makes me feel that your commitment to your husband is'nt there.

He's not the cheating type so I'm sure this wont happen again.

So he could get you to cheat knowing you were married???? He cheated trust with your husband.

Yeh I know he has power over me but he always did that didn't change it. I don't think he'd say anything to ruin our marriage if our friendship ended. He like to be known as the cousin that can be trusted. He'd have too much to loose if he said anything. Not to mention I'm hugely overweight so he'd be ribbed too (ew u did that with a fat girl) so I'm sure he hasn't told any friends.

Key words...Don't THINK, means you are not sure.

He like to be known as the cousin that can be trusted Well he certainly blew that theory!

Not to mention I'm hugely overweight so he'd be ribbed too (ew u did that with a fat girl) so I'm sure he hasn't told any friends Turn that around, because some men find it a trophy experience, then again, this worries me that you see yourself as a booby prize.

I just wish I could ask him why he made a move? I want to know why but I can't ask cos we promiced we would NEVER mention it and we both keep promises. It's the why that keeps nagging me not the guilt. I got over the guilt within a week (got drunk when friend and I went clubbing the next weekend and all my guilt barfed into the toilet)

Is the reason you need to know because your holding hope for a repeat performance. I'm sorry but I can't comprehend needing to know if you didn't want this to happen.

Both keeping promises, please don't make me laugh. Wasn't one of your vows to your husband to forsake all other's? and isn't there unspoken promises within a family not to cross the line?

I think you should patent your recovery to guilt, if all it takes is to get soooo drunk you can vomit it away then everyone in guilt has a foolproof remedy.

I'm sorry but you need to re-evaluate your position as a wife because it's not screaming at me that you feel you betrayed your husband. What you have written has given me personally, the impression that you need to know more from the other guy why he picked you to entertain his needs. Somehow the need for this is greater than the need to reconcile your soul with your husband.

Do you have any children with your husband? Perhaps you need to take yourself out of the situation and work on what you really want. I know children make a huge difference in these kind of situations, so this might be more difficult if you do. If you can, I would totally remove yourself from the confusion and think!

Sorry, but this bit has played on my mind:

The next day he rang me up to ask me what we had done to celebrate his birthday as he couldn't remember past the first club. I thought I was off the hook but months later he told me he does remember but we never speak of it.

I'd say he was testing you to see if YOU remembered but obviously needed to "remind" you that it did.

This is classed as power, he now has you at his mercy, now think ahead, if he and you/your husband fall out, he can wreck your relationship at any point. He's your husbands relative? He crossed the barrier. He knew you were married and basically got you where he wanted.

Can you live life ignorant to the fact that he could crush you if wanted, what if he asks for a repeat performance?

Honesty is always the best policy!

Cheating is anything you have done/are doing that is behind your partner's back involving a relationship with another person.

I'm sorry, but it is extremely naive to question whether giving another man oral sex is cheating..........I don't know of anyone who thinks that putting another mans genitalia in their mouth wouldn't be.

It's down to your own moral values but I'd suggest that telling him would be better than the consequences of him finding out from another source.