Reading this thread, I realise that my problems are very insignificant in comparison to those of many.
However, I am feeling down and could use some support.
OK here's the deal:
I'm 21, and I'm a senior in college. In the next month, I complete my degree. I have a lot of work to do, exams to sit etc. and this is very stressful for me.
Six weeks ago, I broke up with my boyfriend. Whilst this in itself was probably the best move I've ever made, it's shaken up my life totally.
We live together, and were dating for two and a half years. The last year was thoroughly miserable for me: he became excessively controlling and irrational. He is a very angry person and has issues with being in control which, IMO, stem from his childhood. It is not just me he had to be in control of: it is everything. Basically, it ended with me never getting a say in anything we did, where we went, what we ate or even what time we went to sleep. He was totally unprepared to compromise on anything. I do not for one moment regret breaking up with him.
He's very bitter. As I said, he's a very angry person. He did not want to break up. Because we have been a couple for so long, we share the same friendship group. He isn't exactly plesant about me. He wasn't plesant about me when we were dating: he'd bad mouth me to them, complain about everything I did etc. I do not for one moment want to argue that I am perfect and did not make mistakes within the relationship - but I do not believe that I deserve this kind of treatment from him. He's much more outgoing than me: I'm quiet and reserved, so I feel almost like he's "got" all of my friends and I have no one. I realise that they still like me for me, but I find it hard to get close to people whereas he seems to get along with everyone. I'm not a big party girl, he's a big party guy. I just feel alone and dwarfed by him.
There's also this other guy. I've adored this guy for the past year, but obviously never said anything to him or anyone else for that matter. I would never have cheated on my boyfriend even though I was unhappy. Anyway, this gorgeous guy likes me back. Two weeks ago, we met up and, although I've not slept with him, we get down occasionally.
My issues with this are that I like him way more than he likes me. I really do adore him. He's also a senior in college and neither of us have very much time but I'd like to see him three to four times a week even if it's just for a couple of hours at the local bar. I know he's busy and I try to understand but I just really want to be with him. He's way out of my league so I worry about everything: that he doesn't find me hot, that I'm bugging him etc. I only have eight weeks left at Uni and after this I am moving back home, 200 miles away. I just want to spend some time with him before that happens.
OK so basically those are the three factors which are getting me down:
1. My college workload and related stress.
2. My ex-boyfriend's actions.
3. Worries about my new guy.
I'm 200 miles from home, I'm lonely and I feel like I'm sinking deeper and deeper into a big miserable hole. I just seem to cry all of the time. I feel like I have nothing to look forward to. All I want is to go home.
Any advice is welcome - anything small, I just need to fix this before it gets too bad.
Thanks xxx
