bluemagnolia

Thank you so much for your advice! That was a relatively quick response, it was very much appreciated. Yes I'll admit I'm physically attracted to this boy, but it's more than that. His psyche, his charisma, his wit, his intelligence and charm are what I'm attracted to the most. You ask what more do I want from this guy since I'm spending so much time with him already. It was a really good question because well, I couldn't come up with an answer. I can't really picture myself kissing him or anything past that. I just can't. It's almost like we're beyond that territory. Is that strange? I guess one of the biggest weights on my mind right now is how much I mean to this boy. Perhaps it's got something to do with self-worth and how I feel about myself, ultimately. He has a lot of friends that are girls but I know that I'm really important to him and that makes me feel good. Isn't that natural though? Everyone wants to feel important in someone else's lives, right? In a way, I also feel that I'm focusing my energy on him, friend or otherwise, as a way to heal my post-breakup broken heart. My ex had dumped me about 2 months ago and it crushed me pretty bad. My gay friend appeared in my life right after this fiasco, and he's been there for me ever since. Who knows? One thing I'm very certain of is that I don't want to *make* him love me *that* way. That would just be disrespectful in so many ways to him, because I wouldn't be realizing his sexual orientation, and that means I'm not recognizing his beliefs and values. What do you think? Any other comments or advice? I love this boy very, very much. I care about him a lot.

I'm a very boyish/un-ditzy girl, and I'm best friends with a guy who's gay. He's really intelligent and charming. We're both in college right now. Lately we've been spending every day together and we never get sick of each other. We have common interests in art and the rawness of humanity. We finish each other's sentences and can just look at each other and know what the other's thinking. He says I'm the cutest friend he has, and I know I make him laugh and he's really happy around me. The feelings are mutual; I feel so alive when I'm around him. I've been having bad experiences with some people whom I thought were my friends so this guy means a lot to me in my life right now. Here's the dilemma. I think I'm in love with him. I don't know what to do, because well, obviously he's gay; but he's never kissed a girl before, nor has he ever kissed a guy, so.. how does he *know*? I'm not trying to turn him 'straight' nor do I want to; I like the way things are now and I wouldn't want anything to happen to our friendship. I guess I just needed to vent. I'm hoping that these feelings will just soder off and fade away as time passes and I get closer and closer to him. We've made numerous jokes when other friends are around, that we're soulmates, or that we're engaged, or that if I was a gay boy or if he was a straight boy, we would be together forever. Should I tell him about my feelings? Or just keep it in my heart? We've gotten really close, within a relatively short amount of time. I'm living in the same apartment with him this summer, too. Any comments, suggestions, or stories shared will be much appreciated.