iamteddybearfeelmecuddle

Kids are often very picky, and I'm sure it's frustrating. The only thing I might suggest is that if he refuses to eat his dinner at say 5, and then complains of hunger at 6:30, instead of telling him he should have ate it when he had a chance, perhaps you could just offer him the same dinner again? Maybe when he's good and hungry he'd be more open to eating it. Even though it's not ideal, at least it would get eaten, and then in the process he may learn to like those particular foods. Good luck!

Yuck, facebook is the devil when it comes to relationships. It's so easy for things to spin out of control, for everybody to find out everything...I strongly recommend blocking her page from your account (facebook gives you that option) so that you won't be tempted to look at it so often. That way you won't be able to track her chatter with her girlfriends...and if the two of you have contact, you'll be forced to do it in a more personal way than facebook.

Probably a good idea. Personally I don't subscribe to any of those sites, myspace or facy book or whatever. When people ask me to come visit them there to be honest I think, eh, if I want to visit my friend I want to do it in real life.

Sometimes it does seem like people are a little to quick to advertise their new relationships. I would be suspicious of someone just out of one relationship and jumping fast into another, their proclamations may be real, but yes they also may be compensating for something.

Maybe you should ask her if she's having thoughts of leaving the business and going elsewhere? Also if one of you leaves, do you have any kind of non-competition clause in your contract? Could she take some of your clientelle? Anyway, if you ask her and you feel confident that she is not leaving then great, but if you feel she is, just start taking measures to protect yourself right away, such as saving up money, not making major purchases, looking into part time jobs, stuff like that.

Hmm...sounds like we might just have a match going on here!

Ya know, he tells me that I am beautiful and drop dead gorgeous all the time. He has only made the comment about my hair once. I still don't think he has the right to tell me what he wants for me. There are better ways of telling people things without sounding like a pushy commanding person. He could have said, "Baby I think you would look even hotter than you are now with this hairstyle that I saw." But no he chose to command and "tell" me what "he" wants.

I agree; it would have been one thing if he had merely suggested you'd look even hotter if you'd try something different, but the way he's saying it's almost like he's saying you're not good enough as is.

Yeah, you're cute. And even if you weren't If he doesn't like you the way you are, then maybe he should find someone he does.

Ha, I once had a (nother!) guy tell me outright his ideal woman was tall with blue eyes and straight blonde hair! Well I'm petite with green eyes and curly brown hair so I let him go, so he could get on with finding his ideal lol!

Well what you have described doesn't sound normal to me from a guy who really likes a girl. I would think that yes, the behavior your describing is probably a red flag. I would say if he really wants a woman who is more 'made up' or in some other way different from you, then he should just find one, and leave you alone. It sounds to me like he doesn't like you the way you are.

I once just began to date a guy who did stuff like that. He would say: "You'd be cute if ____________". Like, "You'd be cute if you cut your bangs straight accross". Whatever. Another guy also liked me, but I was trying to make a go of it with the first guy. I had enough of that really quickly and said, "You know, thanks for the advice, but Jim thinks I'm cute exactly the way I am". Dumped him, dated Jim.

hi guys. boy, did this get ugly.

 

Reading all of this really makes no since....

 

men and women are more alike than most want to admit.

we both feel pain the same.

This is more of a individual thing than it is a gender thing.....

Make peace not war!

It's just a healthy debate, people voicing opinions as with the entire website...

I had stir fried veggies for dinner and weigh the same I did 30 years ago.

I've only worn makeup once, when I was in drag, and my accessory is a built-in.

It's so easy being a guy.

I love it.

Fair enough. A few veggies never hurt anyone. Nor did a good ol' hamburger, but some (lots of) people I've known could learn a little word called 'moderation'. It won't kill ya gents.

It sounds to me like she's pretty immature. But then again you might be a little bit too, I mean think about it, why would you date someone who is still talking to exes and making it sound as if you're not that important, or telling some guy who 'happened' to telephone her that she's not doing anything interesting, and that you're just a friend.

Sounds like you both have some growing up to do. She really doesn't sound as if she's treating you very well, or with very much respect, and truthfully you're putting up with it (for some reason).

I agree that you should talk about these problems, and if she will not make concessions you should break up, and next time try to go after girls who are actually nice to people, not just ones who claim to be.

To be perfectly honest, I were dating a guy for quite a while and my bday came around and he knew it because I told him, and he didn't bother to get me even the cheapest little gift, not even a hand picked wildflower, nada! with no explaination or anything? I would probably not be too pleased and very likely dump him. Its just not about the prezy, its about respect, and its about valuing you.

Men may worry about their looks a lot, but honestly based on the amount of time that men spend fixing themselves up, working on their bodies and the amount of money men spend on clothes, hair, makeup, accessories and other physical enhancements (time and money), I'd say it's not nearly as much as women. But I do think that a lot of men out there should at least seriously consider eating a salad now and then. Oops did I just make a generalisation? Voice an opinion? I feel pretty bad about that.

I guess I'd thought it was reasonably clear from what I posted that I don't think it's constructive. See you around.

And neither do I, which makes me wonder why you're an active participant? But yeah, stop that, and we'll see ya!

Fair enough..

I'm pretty much done with this thread. But I do ask you how having the above 'debate' is constructive or how it helps people who are feeling bad about men in general.

Well gee, I suppose I could ask you the same

I tend to agree with this but I would add one note: that it is not only the men who are responsible for these attitudes, it is women themselves who are allowing it, and thereforeeee equally responsible. Afterall they couldn't be players without all that available 'play'.

Caro, you need to stop making such broad statements about what I'm keen on when in reality you have no clue what I'm about. You may at your leisure go back and read more of my posts. I'm quite fair to both sexes.

While we're at it though, perhaps you are not as aware of the inequalities that women in many cultures have historically faced and still do to this day as you could be.

speaking as a dude, and one that does the 'random act of kindness' thang - i think that dudes that do that place more import on recognizing and appreciating someone at 'all' times and it is one 'reason/excuse' why certain 'dates' may not appear to be as important to us [they are - we just need to be reminded more often]. if it is something important to u make sure u communicate it and in a way that it is clear that while random is great, u have different 'ways' of being shown love and he will get if [probably the third time if he is one of those lovy dovy dreamer cats]. hope this helps.

I'm pretty sure she said she's reminded him of her bday and their anniversary both on several occasions. He even had them on his calendar. So how could he possibly not have known they were important to her. Further, does anyone really not already know that those dates are important?

But it is not the thing causing the pressure that is the problem. It is the pressure felt and the suicide rate is indicative of that.

Maybe men are more used to things being easier for them (for instance the dollar they average for every seventy-two cents we make), so when things go wrong they just can't deal with it?

 

How about all the guys who post on this forum lamenting the fact that women don't like 'nice guys'?

Have you seen this forum by chance? That one's done about every week or so.

Also I'll have to correct you there, it's not a 'fact' that women don't like nice guys, it's merely supposition, or perhaps occasionally a sympathy ploy.

Do you two live together? Honestly I can't imagine being with a guy that long and him not acknowleging my b-day or our 1 year anniversary. Maybe he does care about you, but maybe he's prone to take things for granted once he's already gotten them (such as you). I really don't think all guys are like that. I'm not suggesting you should leave him, but my guess is that if you did, he'd all of a sudden shape up.

Those on men are different but they are no less imposing. The pressure that men feel to provide, to "get ahead", to be a role model to their kids....it is no less than that felt bey women. In fact the overwhelming ( and I mean overwhelming) body of research says that men attach far more importance to their performance in these roles as seen by peers than women do in the performance of their roles as seen by peers.

 

But I think we're talking about men and women here who are still single, and have not yet met someone to start a family with.

 

The two demographics with the greatest rates of suicide are young male teens and middle aged men. The latter, the main reason middle age men cite for attempting to commit, or committing suicide is their failure to be the male role model they felt they should have been.

 

That isn't necessarily an indication that men face more pressure but could simply mean that men can't handle pressure as well.

One thing that is worth thinking about is that being good looking does not necessarily equate with being good in bed. Many people (including me) who have slept with good looking people have ended up feeling disappointed.

Hmm..that brings up another point that I was trying to figure out how to articulate. I believe one thing that might make various relationships for 'good looking' people more difficult is that some other people may have more stringent, more difficult to live up to, expectations of them, such as expecting them to work harder at the friendship or expecting them to 'make up for' their 'gift' of good looks by being nicer or smarter or harder working, or I guess another example is being better in bed.

Thanks good words of wisdom there.

Well to be honest it doesn't sound like he's putting your feelings very high on his priority list. Maybe he just needs to grow up or something?

Do you realise that if he would have saved up less than 1/3 penny per day during your relationship he could have bought you a gift or a card.