Hi
I am new to this forum...and well I dont know where else to turn. I broke up with my bf of 2 years a month ago. I've called him twice asking for him back but all it caused was both of us crying and him telling me it is not going to work and I am making this a lot harder for both of us.
im 22 and he is 20. We broke up because we faught a lot. To me, it wasnt enough to cause a break up, but I guess it was to him. However the reason we faught a lot was because I didnt have full trust in him, he lied to me a lot. About dumb things. Things that arent even worth lying to me about. So I always questioned him. I forced myself to make things work because, well, love is blind and I was madly in love with him. I think the same went for him.
Anyways, there were other things that bothered me too about him. He wasnt working, didnt care about his appearance, was very unmotivated about life. basically partied and played games on the computer all day long. And I was in school, working, going to the gym etc. So I tried being a good influence on him by asking him to do these things with me but he just talked about his dreams and never took action.
i am truly very hurt because he broke up with me telling me we were losing our spark we always faught, yet I put so much effort and strength into us that I felt like I totally wasted my time and my gave my heart to someone that completely took me for granted.
i hate him, YET I want him back. I am very stressed out, I lost about 20 lbs this month, havent been working, eating, going to the gym, just moping. I went out a few times had my UPS and had a "who needs him!" kinda attitude but now I am sick with the flu and I want him to care for me. I feel I lost a part of myself. And maybe I am in denial but despite all the stupid things that bothered me I still felt he was the one. And now I feel so alone.
I dont know what else to do anymore. We did EVERYTHING together. Had all the same interests. And now...I have nothing. All my friends are totally different from me..he was the only one who completely related to me.
Im really down.
this is really long so I will stop now. thanks for reading...
