monsieur

omg this is too funny, that is exactly what I just went through in the last couple of months and absolutely messed it up so bad it is not funny made good friends with a girl, really fell for her, but she got very firmly in friendzone, I tried to hint my affection and it kind of went ok, but she never really let it go any further, and I really blew it by letting her know the other day that I was interested in more, and she really took offence...... looking back at it I totally must have ignored all the golden rules of flirt/counterflirt and all the other romantic steps that have to work, she would never return that stuff so I should never have said I was interested in more..... I blew it big time The problem is that even this friend relationship has really damaged my confidence and self esteem, if I had better game and been a more natural flirty affection type person I may not have failed as miserably as I did. So I am even worse off psychologically than I was six months ago before befriending this girl (I still am totally smitten with her, but I realize it will never be a love that is returned... totally due to my own shortcomings, which gives me the reality check that I am unworthy). And now my friendship with her seems tainted as she seems to feel that my friendship was just a long term plan to try and get with her. Life sucks.

worst thing is, my previous relationships were always started under the influence of lots of alcohol, but I am a little older now and don't drink much at all, so getting blacked out on booze just to hook up is not an option, plus it was not a very good way to start quality relationships anyways... more dysfunctional right from the start. Maybe I need to get on mood drugs from the doctor to cure my shyness and lack of confidence, but it seems so wrong and unhealthy to get on drugs.... I somehow doubt that prozac makes a person more interesting anyway, so I'll pass on that idea. So here I am, drug and booze free, but a real boring person to date.

well, it wasn't just one experience I find it easy to get the first date with very pretty women, I have been asked out many times (which I read on here is supposed to be so unnatural for a start), but I am still very very shy deep to my core, and find it very hard to be relaxed and funny just doesn't come out when you are shy and nervous.... thereforeeee I often bore the girl to tears and without confidence to actually have some game I usually blow it and often the first date is the last, or for sure the second date. Friendzone comes more often than not, probably because of women's natural tendency to be nice to nice guys. So it is a case of blowing it when even the girl has proven that she is very interested (ie. actually asking me out) that has ruined my confidence..... I wish I was less shy and more a "life of the party" type of person that can carry a fun time without being so boring.

It is so against my nature to feel comfortable joking and I am so quickly deemed as boring when with a girl, that I have no confidence. I have confidence in my looks as girls ask me out sometimes and I get initial good response, but I overwhelmingly blow it after a date or two. Too boring, too nice, hear those things all the time. So my lack of confidence is based on very real experience. I'm thinking I should probably just accept it and stay single.