Well I could write a novel but I'll try to make it direct and to the point. My husband has just left me and our 3 kids after 8 years of marriage. We have been having problems for around 6-8 months. I thought our marriage was perfect up until that point. We had a house, great jobs and 3 beautiful children. May of last year that came all crashing down...we sold our house and was in the process of building a new one...then it came...he first left for a week and went on a job interview in another states miles away, when he came back he really wanted the job, but knew I did not want to move, and felt he could not talk to me about his dreams. Apparently he has not been happy in our marriage the last 3 years, but did not want to hurt me. Then he was here for a week and then left again for 2 weeks...mind you he lost his job, and I was using all the profit we made off our house to pay our monthly bills...then he came back and left again this time for 6-8 weeks..he was diagnosed with depression but I actually think it was a mid-life crisis he is 31 and I am 30. For the past several months I stayed up nights crying, worrying about bills and was worried about our children. All I wanted was to be the best wife I could, support him in the rough times and make it work for us and cause of the kids. Well he came back and I found out he did cheat on me, but he says our marriage was over long before (news to me) and that he had fallen in love with another girl (yes i say girl because she is 19 and he is 31???!!!) He loved me and tried to work things out with me, which is why he always came back, these past few weeks I felt were our best, but I guess it was a charade cause last week he said he was so sorry , but he was not in love with me, and that he loved me like a best friend not a wife. He needed to go and be with the other girl. So he packed stuff and left. The whole situation seemed like a fantasy and still does...we had sex up until they day he left, I wanted to do it, not sure why since he didn't want me, but I thought ya know I am completely in love with him and it will hurt just as much if I did or did not have sex with him, maybe secretly I wanted him to say wow..and stay..but that didn't happen. After all his lies and heartache, why do I still want him and wish he was here? Maybe cause I am used to that after 8 years...sleeping alone is awful and maybe it would have felt better if he was also alone and we just weren't together, but it kills knowing he is in someone else's bed. I am trying to be strong but crying everyday so far. I still have that ounce of hope left that maybe he will realize what he lost, and come back. I know I can;'t make him come back, he needs to do it on his own. As for our children, they are very young 7,4,2. we told them daddy was working and will be back soon. I just don't know what to do. I am in Florida and he is in Oregon talk about clear accross the country. He was away probably the most the last time 6 weeks, and then he missed the kids too much. I wonder what will happen, I just can't see this 19 year old girl wanting the drama of an ex-wife and the kids... right now we have it arranged he will be coming back in May for a few days since one of our kids birthdays are then and he promised.....the new girl has yet to find that out..we'll see how that goes...I know they also will have trust issues and he may seem happy now, but I just don;t see it lasting maybe cause I don;t want it too....I am also afraid that time away will make him forget about me, instead of making him realize what a catch he has lost...If he said he'd come back right now, I;d take him back...silly me. I know your repsonses will proabably say otherwise. I just think we have too much history too forget and he is alot older than her. What does everyon think out there? Do you think he will eventually come back at least for the girls? He said he doesn;t want me to wait for him, but he is not sure where his life will be lead...he actually had a dream that he was with her for 1 year and by the time our 10 year anniversary was coming around we were back together and getting married again. I am just so confused, I want to hurt him also and go and just have a one night stand...I know that is not good...and it would hurt me in the long run, and him.....how do I cope??? We were in love once, and wonder if we could be again??? He loves having that butterfly feeling with this new chic, but I told him ya know that goes away...uggh enough rambling ..also from a guys point of view...I speak with him on a daily basis as he wants to talk with the girls, and then we chat for a few while his stupid girl is right there listening...should i act happy like I don;t care?? would that make him want me or would it be like wow she doesn;'t care??? IS time the answer as to where our relationship will go...should i try to move on..how do i do that but not really do that...since we are not divorced yet....please help I'll try and repsond to all comments..guys what do you think of this is the 19 year old girl playing him and then will realize what an old man he is??? help me I love him with all my heart and i am hurting so much..what happens when he comes in May?? could that be a turning point , and we'll see how we react to each other? she has no clue about that so i am sure that wil start a fight cause the grass isn't always greener on the other side..thanks for listening
