Hi,
I'm new to this forum and I don't normally do this kind of thing but I really need some advise. I apologize in advance that this is so long but I feel I need to give a little history.
I'm a 43 year old male and have been married for 20 years. I love my wife more than ANYTHING! We have 3 children, 19 (almost 20), 18 (two Boys) and a 15 year old daughter (all living with us). My wife and I met at college, actually at registration day. I am 5 years older than she, 1 month after we met we were married. Yes we had 3 rough years but it got great. We are both against divorce as an option so we've always worked out our differences. we live in a very upscale area. My wife is a 7th grade teacher and I work in the media. I love to coach soccer and coach my daughters traveling team. I also just last summer purchased a motorcycle which I use to commute with and love to ride and just everything about it. I don't drink (except once in a while) I don't smoke, I am not an abbusive guy, I'm not a yeller or screamer and come home and kick the dog kind of guy.
My wife doesn't really have any hobbies or really anything that she enjoys to do outside of teaching (which I'm not sure she loves that to much). In fact we don't really have a bunch of friends outside of her family, she has two sisters and a brother, and parents who all live in the same city. She is very close to them, my family lives far away. Our kids are getting older and have a lot of outside the family friends and enjoy spending time with them and really not us. (you know kids are) So my wife is unhappy about that all of the time and gets really mad if they don't want to spend time with us, eating watching a movie etc... I feel that they are just growing up and growing apart from us.
We do have some friends, but they are the families on my soccer team which are great people. So in order to try and get closer to our friends, I have set up a monthly poker night for the guys and the wives all get together and have fun, wine, movies etc..
So here's my problem or heck I don't know if this is my problem or hers or what??? But I feel that since she doesn't have any outside hobbies and because the kids are growing up, and I have a couple of outside hobbies and yes sometimes I get really too wrapped up in them! She has become very mad that I'm not spending enough time with her, or just talking. I LOVE taking her on rides on my bike. She doesn't want to talk about soccer because that's my deal and she feels that I spend way too much time with that, and yes I have in years past and have cut way back. In a couple of months there is this long motorcycle ride (2,500 miles, 5 days) that I wanted us to go on, she decided no she didn't want to go but said you go that would be fun and invite one of our friends who rides. Well he said yes and so we've been planning it.
This spring my wife and I were planning on going on a 3 day ride to Napa, when she was on break. Well the ride that I'm going on with my friend is during her vacation so that's not good. I don't go on vacations by myself nor does she. But I took 4 days off to go on this ride. I was still planning on our ride together.
Over this past weekend my wife got really mad and laid out how she was feeling and was mad about the ride, was mad that I talk to my friends more than her (which I don't feel is true at all) and that I'm spending money and time off to go on this ride etc...
I just don't know what to do? I'm really lost! I want to be able to do stuff that I like to do, is that wrong? I'm NOT what I call a typical guy who say's it's my way and that's it! I feel GUILTY everytime I go on a ride with my friends, or go to soccer practice or anything without her!
I guess we don't have similar likes, so I A SO confused!
Please help give me some advise, please!
