I will try to keep my story as short as possible (still very long). Okay, I have been dating the same girl for almost seven years (started dating at age 15...babies) and things on the whole have been great. We talk every night on the phone, and even though we go to separate schools we still see each other almost every weekend. We always have talked about our future together. I would say over the course of the seven years we have fought maybe ten times (and none of them that big). I guess the problem is that two of those fights have been within the last five months.
All of the fights have been over silly things. The first was because she had just started out at school (she had gone to CC the past two years) and I got a little jealous about the whole situation. We both had a hard time adjusting and it led to a bunch of little spats over the course of a few weeks. Finally, she asked for a break over the phone (she felt smothered). So I drove to her school to talk to her in person. At the end of the night she decided that she didn't want a break anymore.
So things continue and man they were going really good. We put the night behind us and moved on. Then in January, we have two nights in a row where the phone call doesn’t end without a little disagreement. That weekend, I visit her at her school and she drops a ton of pent up anger on me. I'm not close enough to her mom, I don't take her out enough, and I am not like I used to be. Etc. Obviously it was a huge shock, and we almost broke up. She had a point, I had taken her for granted, and the thought of losing her was enough for me to change.
From then on I did all the things she asked, and I thought things were good again. In fact, she had gone back to talking about the things we were going to do in the future (me going to law school and her coming to live with me). Then things turned.
For the past few days I noticed a disinterest in her voice and today I called her out on it. She said she had been thinking about our last fight and how things have changed but she still doesn't feel happy. As examples she says she doesn't get ready as early as she used to when we do something, and that she doesn't smile when people ask her about me. I asked her what she wanted and she said a small break.
She wants to still be dating (no seeing other people or anything) but just wants time. She told me to call on Sunday, and then we would talk on Thursday face to face. After that we would talk again sporadically over the course of the next few weeks. The break is supposed to end in early March. She says we will be back together if she misses me, and will call it quits if she realizes she is fine without me.
Basically, this sucks. I love her and want to be with her so if this is what she needs, so be it. But what should be my mindset right now? Is she doing this because she is too afraid to break up with me? Is there something else I should worry about? Seriously, to anybody that has been here before (and those who haven’t) I need some advice.
It's scary to know which direction you want to go, but are powerless to navigate.
