Nathalie1970

Setter,

Sounds like she wanted to have the ex bf feel sorry for her, "Oh woes me, he beat me up if I talked about you or did what he didn't like", she wanted him to show concern for her.

Good Riddance to bad rubbish.....

You are well rid of the trailer park trash gf

Nathalie

Does your ex know you're going on this trip?

Yes, he does, when we were on talking terms, he was going to look after my cat for me. It's funny every time I went home, he would get mad if I went out with my brother or my sisters because he was worried about other men or he would make snide comments about my ex bfs from home(like if they knew I was in town, would they look me up??). The vindictive part of me hopes that he has all these thoughts/doubts now and suffers for torturing me so much and for so long. (I know bad, bad me)

I am so happy to be going home to see family and friends, people who don't think badly of me.

Yippee

Well, everyone, I leave for Canada tomorrow(gone for a week), and I haven't heard from the ex since Wed night. Hopefully when I return I can report that he did not try to contact me in anyway and I will be that much closer to being done with him.

Wish me luck

merickso, I just read your post and I have mixed feelings on what you should do. Like NJ said, you've waited this long, what's another couple of days?? but on the other hand, if she really wanted to work on your relationship, why wouldn't she just meet you to talk for a couple hours instead of leaving you hanging in limbo??

Something doesn't feel right.

My advice is do what you feel comfortable with and know that you can live with. Good luck to you and I hope everything turns out how you want it to.

Nathalie

Don't do it, she will not forget you. Like my new favorite song by Keith Urban "You'll think of me". No matter what happens in our lives, whether we are the dumpee or the dumper, we think of the other person - good, bad or indifferent, they/we are always in each other's mind.

We are always here for you, vent all you want.

Nathalie

I agree with everyone here, he is a total sh** head. He is not worth your time and energy. You deserve better, you deserve to be loved unconditionally and without malice.

Chin up, head held high and a big smile!!!! Never let the enemy see that you are wounded......

bc,

Your kind words helped my sad feelings feel a little lighter. I had woken up sad and confused about why he does this to me and why I let it affect me, but your post had me thinking better about myself on the way to my exam.

He doesn't trust me to really love him and not go with some other guy, so I cannot see that we will ever be back together. Thanks for the words of encouragement though.(slowly but surely it's sinking in that I am better off without him )

Nathalie

Well, everyone, I have great news

I PASSED....yippee....

NJ, I am glad that I got it out of my system, he is such a jerk, and I do feel better. I still am upset that he is accusing me of hooking up with Scott. Why does he even care?? He doesn't think the relationship is worth working on. Oh well whatever, I told him what I had to say and I hope that I can move on.

I need you guys now....this is a long one, my life has been in emotional upheaval all afternoon, I received 2 awful emails,basically telling me that he believes I have been with this other guy for the last year and that basically I am an awful person, which of course stupid me responded to it with a nasty email of my own.

"Whatever, you lied to me again and again yourself. You are a spiteful jerk, who has a memory like a sieve. I know you were talking to sarah when you had changed your number(yes, everytime we got into a fight), I knew you talked to kate the whole time you were in florida last year and direct connecting sarah at 2am(again in florida). I know about the girl from philadelphia when you went away new years, I know about your little girl tony, brittany, waithera, julie, karen....the list goes on. Let's not forget how you called Sarah the night we broke up at her work a year and half ago or how you called Karen 2 days later inviting her out here or how you were picking up girls while you were still sleeping with me or going out with sarah. By the way you never were "friends" with kate or sarah, you use to talk to them maybe once every couple of months, then all of a sudden they were so important you couldn't let them go(talking to them constantly). So when you talk about distrust know that I share it too, but was willing to work through it. How many times did you make me look like an a**, do you ever ask yourself that? Yet, I still took you back and got over it, because like the a**hole that I am, I wanted to be with you no matter the cost to my self worth or pride.

As for scott, I didn't start talking to him until I found out you went to florida this last time and asked him his opinion on what to do. I never saw him once, the last time I saw him was last july or august at the airport, when I was working and so was he. He didn't understand why I still wanted to be with you when you didn't want to be with me but he still never put you down or tried to talk me into bed. Remember, you were there when I told him we couldn't go out anymore because I was back with you. I never cared for scott in that way or wanted to sleep with him.

And as for leaving anything for you anymore, you don't have to worry about that, I guess I just am alot more forgiving than you are or ever will be. You are mean and spiteful, you love to forget how many times I tried to talk to you these last few weeks, and how rude you were. You didn't care at all about how I was feeling, and as for talking to other guys about how to handle our problem, I did. I talked to guys and girls hoping somebody would give me insight on what to do.

Never say that you "still" love me because the love I know is forgiving and kind. I figure you have already done something spiteful and hope she's worth it, you inconsiderate jerk. I unlike you have been faithful no matter how you treated me, there was no "other" guy. I could care less if you believe me, take your crappy, a**hole attitude and go to hell.

By the way, I want the picture of me that I paid money for(the one I told you I wanted), I figure you have thrown everything in the garbage, so fish it out and leave it at my house. Go torture some other girl's life, make her feel like she's worthless, make her lose self respect and think she is not worth unconditional love. Did you honestly think you could break me?? I am stronger than that, stronger than you think. I will have a happy life and thank god you will not be a part of it because you don't know how to make anyone happy. Your past relationships have shown the world that, I was just too stupid to see it.

The rose colored glasses are off and so are the gloves, I will fight for my happiness and you will never again destroy it. "

He responded with this email

"I'll get you your picture when I see that your not around. I have not put you down in these emails so keep your insults to yourself. Lets not forget that you are FAR from an angel."

And then I finished with this

"I never said I was an angel, far from it, but you act like you are. I know how to love someone no matter what their faults are, you don't. As for the insults, you have put me down constantly (to my face and in your backhanded comments), so I figure now that I could give a flying rats a** about what you think of me, I owe you. Like I said my self worth and pride are back, you were a jerk this last weekend, all you care about are your feelings. Your feelings now mean nothing to me, I tried to do something nice and got slapped in the face, so now I am done being nice to you.

Even broken up, I always put you first, trying to make you feel better, no matter how inconvenient it was to me (and before you say anything I enjoyed doing it, because that's what love is). You on the other hand did not. You want my true feelings about everything, well now you have it. I don't like how you treated me or how you talked to me or how unforgiving you are. I am not perfect, but if I did something to hurt your feelings intentionally or unintentionally I apologized, I always forgave you and never acted like jerk if you had gotten me a card (hell, all the s**t you put me through, I should have a greenhouse of flowers and a library of cards) You only think of how you feel, think of someone else for a change

Unlike what you would have done, I talked scott out of going to the chief this last weekend, he told me to take care of this situation or he would. I actually told him you were not normally like this and that you just were hurt that I was talking to him about our relationship and that I lied to you about talking to him but you would not have your cousin call him again or cause any more problems. I don't expect a thank you out of you, because that is so unlike you (yes, that was a shot at you but it feels good to finally say it instead of keeping it in for fear of hurting you), but I knew that if he did go to the chief, it would not look good for you at all. I did not want you to get into trouble (why is beyond me?? since you have so little regard for me, being the lying b**** that you say that I am)"

He sent this email and then called me to basically say the same thing

"I'm glad that your "friend", who you just talk to about your problems, is looking out for you, and is willing to come to ****** and get involved in this mess. He sounds like a great friend for somebody that you've only been talking to for five weeks. None the less, if you feel that you helped me, I am grateful.

You can tell fire boy to grow a set of balls and come confront me on his own if he wants to impress you so bad. You can escort him to my house if you like. He sounds awful fired up for a guy who has no interest in you. (don't you think?), but you know what you're doing I hope.

By the way, what the hell does he want to tell the chief that I did? I have not done a damn thing. "

I was at my girlfriends house studying for the real estate exam that I have to take tomorrow and ended up bawling. He tries to say "I wish you nothing but happiness" I stopped him and said "I wish you nothing but misery and don't fool yourself, you don't want me to be happy" I said I have to go, I have to study and he was like "I wish you luck on the test". How can he yell at me one second and try to be nice the next?? I could just puke, he has upset me so much.

I agree with NJ, no need to let her know, she has a bf, so who cares what she thinks....good job on taking the first step....

Women tend to have a better "support system" when they go through break ups. We cry, have friends to talk to etc. WOmen simply go through the emotional trauma of a break up sooner than men do. I think men stuff their feelings...or channel it differently, through sports, work, or drinking. I just think men simply deal with it differently. WOmen are emotional..and men look for logic in their emotions.

 

Let me ask you this: When a breakup occurs....why do men wait 6 months to realize they made a mistake? The first 2 or 3 months after a breakup is when a woman is usually mourning her loss..by the time the man comes around and says he "made a mistake"..we have moved on.

Right there with you Echo, everything that you have written is true. I will add to what men do is with their drinking, they find women to bed down and take their mind off of the ex and feel macho.(I could be wrong, but I am talking from my ex bf experience) I don't know if they do it out of spite or what but it still hurts me in the end and I feel the loss all over again.

And a question for the men out there, why do you wait 6 months to call and say "I want you back"????

Good job, Calgary....Hope you're not too hung over today, but you got through last night (which is all that counts)

God love ya, Calgary.....LOL

I spent the evening with my kids and put them to bed at 830pm. Then, I have been on and off this site. Pretty soon, I will be taking a tylenol pm to sleep through the night.

Again, it I make it through today, I can make it through any night for the rest of the year.

I agree, you have already put yourself out there, now it's up to her. Do nothing and keep NC.

Yeah, umm... save any future messages. Period! No excuses. And, if he leaves a burning cross on your lawn, photograph it.

LOL

thank you for the laugh, NJ

Calgary,

Are you drunk yet?? Tell your friends to keep a tight leash on you (so you don't fall off any chairs....LOL)

928pm....clock is ticking....v-day is almost over....yippee

You guys are making me wish I didn't erase the 3 crazy msgs that he left on Saturday night. He hasn't called since sunday and it is now 911pm, I think I might be in the clear. He said what he had to say and I didn't put up with it like I usually did, I told him where to go and hung up.

Maybe he finally realizes that I mean business, and that be can't treat me like dirt anymore (or that he will leave me alone just for the simple fact that he thinks that I am with someone else). Only time will tell.

Did all of us get dumped before the new year??? I'm at 6 weeks also, and I was doing better until I got to work today. I'm not thinking of sending her anything or contacting her at all but I just thought it would be easier than this today. Not sad or emotional but kinda blue. Nothing that a couple of drinks with the guys won't help, and I promise.......NO DRUNK DIALING!!!!!

Yes, I think we were, my official dump date was Dec 28th....

Let the guys hold your phone until tomorrow, trust me on this one. I made a fool of myself last friday.

I know what helps for me... try the stranger.

 

Drink a couple of beers and sit on your hand till it falls asleep.

Yup, this is definitely a guys thread....I have no more input whatsoever

I'm onboard for that plan, I would just have to give my cell to someone so if the ex bf called, I wouldn't be tempted to answer in my intoxicated state.

She's trying to keep you interested....ignore it and laugh

I vote ignore it. She is so trying to keep you into her, maybe even her fall back guy. Stick with NC....

Well boys,

I see we have many different opinions out there on what to do.

I have heard the phrase "to get over one person quickly get under another one" but how long does that help?? It could go either way, forget about the ex for that moment (then right back to thinking) or forget the ex for a little longer. You will always think about your ex no matter what.

If you happen to meet a girl that you are attracted to, then go for it, not out of revenge or spite, but for the simple fact that you like her and want to get to know her better.

Iwantherback - stop thinking about what she is doing or might be doing, that only makes it worse. Just think about getting through tonight, with us or with a movie or with some guy friends.

Keep busy....stay strong and know we are here

RW,

Rent a comedy, order in, have a glass of wine, take a bath and read a book...etc....Think of you (I know easier said than done)

If all else fails, stay on here and vent....I know that's what I'll be doing....

Keep busy and stay strong....Have great rest of the day....it's almost over